What NOT/Never to talk about at work... - page 2
Okay, the closed "Religion and Nursing" thread made 1 thing very clear to me. There are things at work/school you should NOT, NOT, NOT talk about unless you are absolutely sure that everyone else is... Read More
May 19, '04I live in Texas, and many of my co-workers are constantly expressing their very conservative beliefs, political and religeous. Drives me crazy. So far, I have been able to hold my tongue, and not tell them how wrong I think they are and how much they are offending me.
May 19, '04I really meant this post to be about "What NOT to talk about at work" with your colleages. I think its goes without saying that it is your duty to professionally counsel or refer the patient when he wants to talk about sex, politics, religion, or money.
Thanks for your responses. They are helpful. LarryG, I wish I had an innate sense ofexcellent and professional jugement but, unfortunately, I seem to be a total social klutz when it comes to work, which is why I'm asking allnurses for help. This site is so cool : )
I think I'd like to add NEVER boast about something you're proud of at work because I've seen colleages make fun of other colleages who are boastful about some personal attributes or assets or something else. I think it earns mistrust and disrespect.
May 19, '04OR let me add personal problems of any nature. This is the work place not therapy.
What you reveal about yourself can back fire no matter what you preceive as inocent or harmless to your self.
May 19, '04Quote from DixiecupIn my personal opinion the reason why religon is off limits happened on that last thread about religion in the workplace... I would love to talk to people about their beliefs and explore all sorts of ideas, however some people choose to preach and make others feel like they need to be "saved" and that is when the topic isn't fun anymore. Nobody should ever make anyone else feel like their own faith is wrong, and when people preach that is exactly how the other person feels.Why is Religion off limits? I never really got the hang of tact!
May 19, '04susanna posted "... I seem to be a total social klutz ... I think I'd like to add NEVER boast about something you're proud of at work because I've seen colleages make fun of other colleages who are boastful about some personal attributes or assets or something else. I think it earns mistrust and disrespect."
I feel like a social klutz, too (round peg in a square hole?). When I hear the others talking (and boasting?) about their cars, jewelry, homes, and what they gave or what they got for Birthdays, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas, Wedding Anniversary, I become silent and probably depressed. Don't have a new car, expensive jewelry, my own home. When hubby is home I might get a card and sometimes a gift still in the store shopping bag; when he is on a trip I might get a telephone call. Never get anything for Mother's Day - hubby says that I am not his mother. Oh, well, I always get over it (or ignore it). It's been this way for years. The kids have families of their own now, they usually send a card or an email. Guess I did something right.
BTW, I always wish the pts a Happy Whatever Day it is.
May 19, '04Quote from DOCS RNOr practice all three at work...Never Discuss Religion, Politics Or Sex At Work.
May 19, '04The Problem With Most People Is That They Are Absolutely Convinced That They Are Right Liberals-conservatives-believers-atheists--cub Supporters Just Talk About The Tv Program Last Night
May 19, '04I must work in a goofy workplace...we have discussions on sex, drugs, politics, the war, guns, occassionally (but not often) religion, you name it and it has probably come up. We usually just have discussions, occassional arguments with those with strong beliefs but usually civil...sometime our talks get a bit racy...We don't usually go down these roads with patients or when the unit is busy...they often start 200-300 am...I guess I work with some laid back people...the discussions usually are not too personal, but we do know eachother fairly well...There are a few people in the unit that the discussions don't usually occur around, but we have a good time and some interesting discussions!Last edit by zambezi on May 19, '04
May 20, '04zambezi...I only wish I could find a place like that to work, but I doubt your hospital is the norm. unfortunately.
May 20, '04Quote from StitchieAgreed. I've gone through the same thing.I learned in Nursing school not to talk about my problems with trying to have children. I learned that there was v. little tolerance to such a situation.
May 20, '04Before I add to the list let me share a personal point.
Before a move I worked with only 20 other nurses. EVERYONE was open and honest about themselves. We listened to a gay nurse who was dumped from a long term relationship. Held parties in our own homes for births and engadgements. Supported three female nurses through the deaths of their husbands. Listened as one put down a dog (child to her) of 14 yrs. Some of the group was known to swap churches on sundays.(no one was ever put off by their discussions). we swapped X-mas presents, held birthday parties.
Before report I could say to both a day and night shift nurse..you'd never believe the arguement I just had with the hubby right before I left.... and they'd listen... and I'd just feel BETTER!, not vunerable.
I just loved each crazy quirk about each of them. Even one nurse that would roll his eyes at me when I offered to help turn his patient as he sat on his butt, we worked it out by my joking with him. (he HATED me for a long while until I decided to break through what ever it was he didn't like about me) This isn't retrospective. We bickered and argued, and settled our differences. Sometimes a peer stepped in to facilitate but we worked it through.
We had a nurse transfer in who was just plain trouble. trying to pit staff against each other, spreading rumors. We began to talk about it and finally started saying... we don't talk about each other. what exactly are you trying to do by saying that. Don't discuss her, she's not here. No backbitting. period.
I miss it terribly. Seeing a post where people can't be themselves reminds me of where I am now and what I had. I too work at a place where I wouldn 't share a bit of personal data but the basics even if my job depended on it... because they are vultures looking for any weakness. Worse part is that I don't even know where to begin to change it and doubt that you can
But really wish it was otherwise. Before I went to work with friends. Now I don't go to work to make friends, just work.
Really stinks because it could be sooo much better.
So, I wouldn't share any personal data showing any weakness until I was comfortable with that particular person. Then a person at a time, I might divulge a small bit of myself and see what comes back to haunt me... never saying the same bit to a second person so I could trace the source. It's like a minefield being in a new facility. I'm a novelty now and everyone is trying to pry personal data from me. Until I'm more comfortable and aware... no one is getting a single piece.
sorry, my long winded two cents worth a penny :chuckle