What NOT/Never to talk about at work...

[susanna]

Okay, the closed "Religion and Nursing" thread made 1 thing very clear to me. There are things at work/school you should NOT, NOT, NOT talk about unless you are absolutely sure that everyone else is in the same boat as you and therefore no possibilty that anyone feels threatened.

From the thread, we all know religion (#1 thing NOT to talk about!) is one of these things.

Someone on the thread said something to the likes, "MY mommy told me never to talk about money, politics, religion, or sex" in polite company. "Polite company" meaning, i guess, any group of people who are not close friends. I think this truism is basically true.

My examples:

So, I made a mistake at a first job by taking my co-workers for close buddies and expressing freely my ideas about sex and how it should be. BIG MISTAKE! Led to major misunderstandings and embarrassment... (#2 thing NOT to talk about!)

Then, even though I wanted them to stop and didn't want to hear it, I let co-workers complain, jabber, and gossip to me about the poltics of the company and who was making more $$$ than whom. BIG MISTAKE! I felt uncomfortable and distrusting of my supervisors and personally under a microscope by everyone and felt like I was being dishonest by hearing bad things about people and then going to work with them the whole time while I was there. I felt like spurting out everything that was being said to relieve the tension and distrust. I should have just told them to keep their ramblings to themselves. (#3 and #4 things NOT to talk about!)

CONCLUSION: The best conflict resolution technnique is conflict avoidance. Anyone want to add their own experiences to these examples or better yet, add other things that u think one should NOT to talk about to my list of "THINGS NOT, NOT, NOT to Talk about at Work" ?

[PBAJS]

"Don't involve yourself in continual gripe sessions...everyone has a bad day and go ahead and vent a little to one person who you have a friendly relationship with but stay away from the three nurses that are ALWAYS complaining.....they just bring you down and make your job harder...it's no secret some parts of nursing just suck you don't need to spend a lot of time with those that just keep chewing the same issues over and over."

I have a coworker who has a bad day 'every day'. I find working on the same floor very stressful. When I first started, I listened to her complaints about other coworkers, the charge nurse and DON (they have no backbone), the way the facility is run (housekeeping, food served). I finally got tired of hearing the same complaints over and over and over, again. :angryfire Finally, I calmly said, with a smile, :) something to the effect that when she wins the lottery and owns this place and sign the paychecks, she can make lots of changes and improvements. :rotfl: It only helped a little - When she starts complaining and then realizes that I am nearby, she has said, "Oops, you don't want to hear this ." ... and then gripes and complains anyway. A few months ago, when we were just starting the shift she saw something where it should not have been and said loudly "What the hell is this crap doing here?" Yeah! Right! Really professional! Each person has a separate assignment, however, when I do need help, I often hope that someone else is available.

:)

[DOCS RN]

Never Discuss Religion, Politics Or Sex At Work.

[Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN]

I live in Texas, and many of my co-workers are constantly expressing their very conservative beliefs, political and religeous. Drives me crazy. So far, I have been able to hold my tongue, and not tell them how wrong I think they are and how much they are offending me.

[susanna]

I really meant this post to be about "What NOT to talk about at work" with your colleages. I think its goes without saying that it is your duty to professionally counsel or refer the patient when he wants to talk about sex, politics, religion, or money.

Thanks for your responses. They are helpful. LarryG, I wish I had an innate sense ofexcellent and professional jugement but, unfortunately, I seem to be a total social klutz when it comes to work, which is why I'm asking allnurses for help. This site is so cool : )

I think I'd like to add NEVER boast about something you're proud of at work because I've seen colleages make fun of other colleages who are boastful about some personal attributes or assets or something else. I think it earns mistrust and disrespect.

[Agnus]

OR let me add personal problems of any nature. This is the work place not therapy.

What you reveal about yourself can back fire no matter what you preceive as inocent or harmless to your self.

[nursemeow]

Why is Religion off limits? I never really got the hang of tact!

In my personal opinion the reason why religon is off limits happened on that last thread about religion in the workplace... I would love to talk to people about their beliefs and explore all sorts of ideas, however some people choose to preach and make others feel like they need to be "saved" and that is when the topic isn't fun anymore. Nobody should ever make anyone else feel like their own faith is wrong, and when people preach that is exactly how the other person feels.

Rock on!

[indigo]

This seems to be a subject that begs to be discussed.

[PBAJS]

susanna posted "... I seem to be a total social klutz ... I think I'd like to add NEVER boast about something you're proud of at work because I've seen colleages make fun of other colleages who are boastful about some personal attributes or assets or something else. I think it earns mistrust and disrespect."

I feel like a social klutz, too (round peg in a square hole?). When I hear the others talking (and boasting?) about their cars, jewelry, homes, and what they gave or what they got for Birthdays, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas, Wedding Anniversary, I become silent and probably depressed. Don't have a new car, expensive jewelry, my own home. When hubby is home I might get a card and sometimes a gift still in the store shopping bag; when he is on a trip I might get a telephone call. Never get anything for Mother's Day - hubby says that I am not his mother. Oh, well, I always get over it (or ignore it). It's been this way for years. The kids have families of their own now, they usually send a card or an email. Guess I did something right.

BTW, I always wish the pts a Happy Whatever Day it is.

:) :balloons:

[psychomachia]

Never Discuss Religion, Politics Or Sex At Work.

Or practice all three at work...

[CHATSDALE]

The Problem With Most People Is That They Are Absolutely Convinced That They Are Right Liberals-conservatives-believers-atheists--cub Supporters Just Talk About The Tv Program Last Night

[zambezi, BSN, RN]

I must work in a goofy workplace...we have discussions on sex, drugs, politics, the war, guns, occassionally (but not often) religion, you name it and it has probably come up. We usually just have discussions, occassional arguments with those with strong beliefs but usually civil...sometime our talks get a bit racy...We don't usually go down these roads with patients or when the unit is busy...they often start 200-300 am...I guess I work with some laid back people...the discussions usually are not too personal, but we do know eachother fairly well...There are a few people in the unit that the discussions don't usually occur around, but we have a good time and some interesting discussions!

[Energizer Bunny]

zambezi...I only wish I could find a place like that to work, but I doubt your hospital is the norm. unfortunately.