Time to admit .. things you've said to pt's/family members that you shouldn't

[kiszi]

In the hospital where I used to work, family members would come up to the desk all the time to say "dad needs a _______ (blanket, cup, straw) and I developed a nasty habit of saying (in a perfectly innocent tone) "Does he know how to use the call light?" Gradually my tone started getting more and more sarcastic. Had to stop that one after a few nasty looks. oops.

Or "that's not real high on my priority list"

I know there's been plenty more....

At least I knew I had to leave the hospital setting for a bit before my mouth could get me in too much trouble. Feeling much better suited to home health, where you can throw whatever you like at me! I'll be out of your house in less than an hour!

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

80 something year old diva, recovering from a heart cath and stent, needs to lie flat for 2 hours, bedrest for 4, and mad as hell. I'm too slow or rushing too much, I'm too ugly, I must have slept with all the doctors, why won't I style her hair and refresh her make up, the ice is too cold, am I really a nurse, I don't seem very smart, I must keep my hands off her husband, do I know who she is, her husband is a very prominent businessman and she is a close friend of the nursing supervisor. I finally snapped.

Me: " If I were you I'd be a whole lot nicer to the person who's been bringing your pain meds."

After that it was please and thank you all the way. And I mentioned to the supervisor that her friend was here. She rolled her eyes and asked if she was giving me a bad time. Not any more.

[anggelRN]

i am not very proud of this moment but here it goes...

i was assigned to sit with an anorexic pt during lunchtime. i was working three days straight and this was the third day of this pt getting under my skin. the pt and the family was very demanding and frequently made rude comments to staff.

me: ok, x here is your lunch.

pt: have you had lunch?

me: no, not yet, but i will after this.

pt: you like food too much, you're always thinking about it.

me: well you like food too little, that's why you're here!

pt was kind to everyone for the rest of the day.

[Redhead28]

Not mine personally but here goes...

Pediatric patient that mother only spoke spanish, father spoke passable english. The nurse was doing the admission history and Father was acting as translator between nurse/mother. Father said to the nurse "you need to learn to speak Spanish" The nurse said "No your wife needs to learn English, you are in America and it is our national language"

[steelcityrn, RN]

Im pretty sure I told one patient their doctor was an a**hole, they agreed, but it could have turned ugly.

[crb613, BSN, RN]

I had a frequent flyer in the ER. This woman was demanding, and pain in the butt....the kind of pt that when you see them come in/get report from ems you say.....I had her last time! Anyway busy,busy night and she informed me I was not taking care of her in the manner she expected. I told her sorry.....we are extremely busy and I will be with you as soon as I can. The next thing I hear is "NURSE, NURSE,NURSE"....yes what do you need? " I need you to take care of me like you are paid all that money to do. I know how much money you nurses make and you work for me!

No, I do not work for you. I am here to save your butt not kiss it! So when you need to be saved I will be back! The nurses at the desk burst out laughing loudly! I had wanted to tell her that for a long time and I have no regrets!

[MinnieMomRN]

I have a habit of saying things that come out wrong. Not rude, but just not exactly as I meant. For example, I was hanging a new bag of fluids one night, when the patient says "Oh, can I put the light on for you?" My answer: "Oh no, it's fine. I'm quite good in the dark!" Okay, NOT what I really meant! We both burst out in laughter. You know, I love the patients who enjoy a good laugh.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

To a royally self-absorbed, every-dart-obessesed patient who had pneumonia, "Of course your chest hurts. You have pemumonia. Now take your neb."

To the same patient this morning, "No you aren't having heart problems. Drink this glass of water fast and burp." "I can't drink fast." "Well, they you won't burp and your stomach will keep hurting." She gulped and burped.

"Yes, I know your knee hurts. It always hurts. Now think about something else while the Vicodin kicks in."

[ktwlpn, LPN]

We had the most miserable LOL several years ago in the LTC.She was a brilliant women in her 90's and had a spectacular career and was at the end stages of Parkinson's disease and trying her darndest to control every aspect of the nursing home because she could not control the progression of her disease. She talked to us all as though we were servants. One morning I toileted her after giving her meds. Nothing suited her-even the toilet seat was too high, too hard and too big.The TP was too hard,too stiff etc. I said "Today,water is not wet enough for you" She looked at me with her eye brows crawling up to her hairline and then she actually laughed-hard! We became pretty good buddies after that. I was her advocate when the doc broached the tube feeding subject with her family-mind you,she had an explicit advance directive and never wanted that. She had even been refusing thickend liquids and pureed food. She told me that if she couldn't sit up and drink a glass of sherry and eat a steak then she was done.I'll never forget her

[CNL2B]

hehehe I have a lot

• to the patient with uncontrolled afib with nonpulsatile QRS complexes: "it's like she has PEA but is not dead"
  
• to the family increasing my neuro patient's agitation: "go home, he is yelling at you. if you arent here, he wont yell."
  
• to my rapid cycling bi polar patient: "go ahead and chew on your restraints all you want. it still wont get you out of here"
  
• to the md at 0200 re: said bipolar patient: " you dont understand dr. he is crazy! I need a consult for an exorcist! thats how crazy he is."
  
• when said md said "oh he's just a neuro patient, it's not mental illness," I say "If he has the absence of ataxia to land a swift punch to a jaw with force behind it, he's not sick enough to be here."
  

Im sure there are more. I can get a bit snarky when grumpy and Im a little too assertive at times. Im working on it

You remind me of myself 10 years ago.

My big faux pas -- actually with a doctor, not a patient. Well respected 55ish female CV surgeon comes out of the OR after she is done operating to check on her patient and starts complaining to me that she has this charity event to go to that evening that she is not excited about attending. She goes on about it being for XYZ heart foundation and there are going to be speakers and rich little old ladies donating money, etc. So I said to her that she got invited as a little old lady to donate a bunch of money?

Steely look from her.

"No, actually, I'm speaking."

Whoops.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I started talking about gardening or houseplants with a patient's mom once. I don't have a green thumb and said, "Yeah, I end up killing pretty much anything that I touch."

:nuke:

[FlyingScot, RN]

I'll bite. Where I live we have a huge Somalian population. Our hospital is closest to the airport so pretty much every day we have hordes of Somalian's come to the ER literally directly from the plane. Some are really, really sick and need our attention...that's fine. But one day I had this man with a suprapubic catheter. His chief complaint was that he needed the dressing changed. Not particularly appropriate for the ER but whatever. So I changed it and explained to his son how to do it and why he shouldn't come to the hospital to have it done. The first one I put on the man said was "too thick" and demanded I change it. The second dressing was "too thin". The third attempt was okay but he wanted "that orange ointment" on it. Best as I can determine he was talking about betadine ointment which I wasn't about to do for so many reasons. He was insistent that I had done it incorrectly without the ointment and called me "stupid". That pretty much did it. I turned to him and said "Do you like how they did it in Africa better?" He answered "yes!" I went on "Do you think the nurses in Africa are smarter?" Again "yes!" "Do you think you got better care in Africa?" Again "yes!" I went there. Yeah, I did it. I told him that if Africa was so freaking good then he should just go back there, turned on my heel and left him. After which I presented myself to my unit manager and "fessed" up. Fortunately she was a reasonable soul and after making me describe to her at least 5 things that I did wrong in the situation and how I would react if ever faced with this situation again she sent me on my way. As I was leaving her office I could hear her laughing her butt off. Now before anybody turns this into something it isn't. The patient could have been from Europe, Alabama or Mars and I would have reacted exactly the same way. I even learned a little Somali to help make our patients feel more welcome and it is NOT an easy language.

[Patchouli]

i started talking about gardening or houseplants with a patient's mom once. i don't have a green thumb and said, "yeah, i end up killing pretty much anything that i touch."

:nuke:

:yeah:this has got to be the funniest thing i've heard in a while. i laughed out loud after reading this. thanks for sharing!