Suicide and its effects, it sucks!!! - page 2

pardon me while i lament on the week's event's.. sigh, my sweet neighbor's fiancee' took his life last weekend. she is absolutely devastated of course. these two had been havimg some difficulties... Read More

  1. by   Cattitude
    Quote from nurseangel47
    I guess I have heard all too often " ' How could he/she have done that to .... (fill in the blank, re: family member, name of girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever
    That's because it is very normal for a relative of someone who committed suicide to feel anger at them for doing it. It is an act that brings out anger and frustration.

    It's also difficult for most people to gather sympathy for the person that no longer requires it as they are no longer feeling pain. However, those left behind will always feel the pain. It doesn't mean that the suicide victim wasn't loved or won't be missed.
  2. by   PeachPie
    Quote from nurseangel47
    How about the hellish nightmare of every single second the suicide victim had to live in before he/she decided FINALLY to do something once and for all to end his/her suffering? Perhaps he/she felt as well that they weren't worth "saving"...hence, not even thinking that help would/could save them. Suicide has at least two sides. I always feel worse for the victim who took themselves out. The angst they must have to endure before the end has to be horrific. I say this with some experience with suicides, both sides need to be considered. Everyone is always taking up for the survivors and putting down the dead. If we could be a bit more compassionate? Stigma, after all.
    I agree. It is your life, and even though I don't advocate suicide in the least, I advocate people having power over their own lives, including the power to end it. In fact, if somebody calls me up so devestated that s/he wants to commit suicide, I don't preach. It is not my decision or duty to keep them on this earth. I will talk about how I will miss him (unless they make these suicide calls a regular attention-getting thing, in which I will give them the number to a suicide hotline number and hang up), and i will lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on, but I won't give guilt about how they will hurt others. Most of them already feel like a burden and a failure, so I don't try to rub in that not even death will escape it. Like I said, it's not my decision or responsibility, adn I don't know their situations.

    One of my close friends committed suicide. It hurt, I don't deny it, but at the same time, he had suffered for decades. Genetics and abusive parents had given him intense mental illness and crippling anxiety. He had tried counseling, electroshock, medicine, self-medicating, you name it, but nothing made a long term improvement. He was miserable, and wanted it to end. He ended it. It was his choice, and his wish. He didn't want to hurt others, and he did all he could to detach himself from others in preparation for it. If I was in his situation, I would have done the same. I have suffered depression in the past, and I don't blame some for wanting to end it. I pulled through am happy now, but some people can't escape it.

    I had a high school friend who blew his brains out in the kitchen. His sister discovered him after coming home with her birthday cake in preparation for her Sweet 16. That was disgusting. The very least he could have done was do it in a quiet place called the cops to come find him right before he pulled the trigger. His sister and parents are scarred for life. Suicide hurts others enough, and it's horrible to aggrevate it.
  3. by   West_Coast_Ken
    i am stunned by how few posts there are to this thread in over one month.

    suicide is a serious and large issue and for the most part no one wants to discuss it or if they do it is given a quick comment and nothing more.

    i am looking forward to finally being able to watch a documentary about suicide titled "the bridge" by director eric steel and i'm sure i'll cry like a baby when i do.

    the dvd will be out june 12th. for more on the movie:
    http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809424483/info

    regards,

    ken
  4. by   Cattitude
    Quote from west_coast_ken
    i am stunned by how few posts there are to this thread in over one month.

    suicide is a serious and large issue and for the most part no one wants to discuss it or if they do it is given a quick comment and nothing more.

    i am looking forward to finally being able to watch a documentary about suicide titled "the bridge" by director eric steel and i'm sure i'll cry like a baby when i do.

    the dvd will be out june 12th. for more on the movie:
    http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809424483/info

    regards,

    ken
    op here. i too was a little surprised by the amount of responses. i know it's an uncomfortable topic but it is so important. for goodness sake i now know three men who have killed themselves and one was a family member. that is three too many.

    thank you for posting that info on the bridge. i saw a piece on 20/20 about it several months ago but didn't get to the theaters to see it. i will see the dvd.
  5. by   West_Coast_Ken
    Quote from Cattitude
    Thank you for posting that info on The Bridge. I saw a piece on 20/20 about it several months ago but didn't get to the theaters to see it. I will see the DVD.
    You are quite welcome. Few people saw this movie in the theaters because it wasn't shown for very long and only in a handful of theaters.

    I haven't seen the documentary nor did I see the 20/20 piece but I have heard the buzz about it and rather than focus on the topic of suicide, the story about The Bridge seems to be more "How dare he?" Such a sad commentary on such an important issue.

    I drove across the Golden Gate just yesterday and it was a lovely day. It never occured to me that some of those people out on their walk might have been thinking of suicide.
  6. by   Cattitude
    Quote from West_Coast_Ken
    You are quite welcome. Few people saw this movie in the theaters because it wasn't shown for very long and only in a handful of theaters.

    I haven't seen the documentary nor did I see the 20/20 piece but I have heard the buzz about it and rather than focus on the topic of suicide, the story about The Bridge seems to be more "How dare he?" Such a sad commentary on such an important issue.

    I drove across the Golden Gate just yesterday and it was a lovely day. It never occured to me that some of those people out on their walk might have been thinking of suicide.
    The 20/20 story just chilled me. Apparently, The Bridge directors/producers placed cameras that taped people jumping and then tells their stories with the families help. When I saw those people jump, I couldn't get those images out of my mind for days.

    The small piece that I saw intrigued me and I look forward to seing the movie. There is also a story of someone who actually survived jumping the Golden gate and he now works with suicide prevention.
  7. by   gitterbug
    My sincere sympathy to all of those involved in this unhappy incident. Be as supportative and nonjudgemental of your friend and her deceased loved one as possible. Suicide is so permanent a solution to often temporary problems. So sad those involved often to do see another solution and are so overwhelmed with feelings of worthlessness, depression, hurt, and confusion the remedy they chose is terrible in its finality. My prayers to all involved.
  8. by   LisaRRT
    I didn't post a response originally because I was so put off by the label "selfish" being used in the op to describe those that commit suicide.

    Unless you have been to that point yourself you have no idea. Those that commit suicide are not selfish in my opinion and I have a hard time with the people I knew and cared about that killed themselves being labeled as such.

    You try sticking around for 5, 10, 20 years in soul crushing emotional pain with physical symptoms to boot.
  9. by   Roy Fokker
    dear cattitude,

    you have my sympathies. losing someone you cared about to as drastic an end... is as hard as it gets.

    Quote from cattitude
    [color=#483d8b]i hate suicide. it is selfish.
    as much as i hate to be 'provocative' at such a delicate moment...

    i have to say that i take umbrage to your opinion that "suicide is selfish".
    i disagree... mightily.


    cheers,
  10. by   PeachPie
    Quote from LisaRRT
    I didn't post a response originally because I was so put off by the label "selfish" being used in the op to describe those that commit suicide.

    Unless you have been to that point yourself you have no idea. Those that commit suicide are not selfish in my opinion and I have a hard time with the people I knew and cared about that killed themselves being labeled as such.

    You try sticking around for 5, 10, 20 years in soul crushing emotional pain with physical symptoms to boot.
    Amen. In my book, it gets selfish when the person kills himself in a public place for someone to discover, like my friend who blew his brains out in the kitchen, and was subsequently discovered by his sister. She was bringing home her birthday cake for her Sweet 16. What a jerk. Same to the people who are public jumpers. I don't think that suicide is totally selfish, but it is a very personal thing that should be done quietly if at all.
  11. by   Cattitude
    Ok, OP here. Let me discuss a bit as to why I used the term selfish. My uncle killed himself when I was 18.
    He hung himself in his garage and his SIX year old son found him. He KNEW his family would find him. I find that to be selfish, meaning concerned only with one's self. It doesn't mean that he's not missed or that he's a horrible person. It just means that he was only concerned with his pain and not that of his families.

    Because when someone commits suicide, their pain is over. But the pain of the families and friends never ends. That is why it is a selfish act. Again, that is my opinion and it doesn't not mean that they are bad people. Yes they are in pain and only see that way out and that is sad. I don't know how else to convey my thoughts without getting flamed.
    Maybe I can say that I think the act is selfish, not the person? Ack, forget it. Like I said in my title, suicide, it sucks.
    Last edit by Cattitude on Apr 14, '07
  12. by   Cattitude
    Quote from LisaRRT
    Unless you have been to that point yourself you have no idea. Those that commit suicide are not selfish in my opinion and I have a hard time with the people I knew and cared about that killed themselves being labeled as such.

    You try sticking around for 5, 10, 20 years in soul crushing emotional pain with physical symptoms to boot.
    You have no CLUE what point I've been to in my life thank you!!! I, like you am entitled to my opinion. I don't label people, I don't judge.
  13. by   lisamaree
    I am so sorry for your neighbours loss. Last year an old workmate and friend of mine commited suicide. He was 21, the same age as me.
    I cannot begin to descibe how sad the funeral was, and how sad and surreal it was to finally say goodbye to someone who had their whole life ahead of them.
    I think I have more empathy and understanding for people who have lost a loved one to suicide now - the neverending "why?". I think by the time a person starts considering it as a final option - they are not being selfish, it's their only focus. I can't begin to understand what that must be like.

    Rest in peace, Jason ( 1984-2006 )

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