Stay well and don't get sick!

madwife2002, BSN, RN

Last February, I wrote a letter to the CEO of the hospital I was working for to let her know how pleased I was with the care I received while I was there as a patient having my hysterectomy. She was so please with the letter I wrote that she placed my letter on the hospitals website for others to read. In that letter, I stated how proud I was to be an employee of that hospital. But, now I know the truth and that pride I once had is gone, replaced by anger and betrayal.

A couple of months after my hysterectomy, I started suffering from some severe back pain. The pain continued to get worse almost daily. Soon the pain was radiating down both legs all the way to my feet. Then I started having issues with my bladder. As much as I felt the need to urinate....I couldn't, unless I bared down as if I was trying to have a bowel movement (sorry for being so graphic). Thru all of this, I made several trips to the ER and my PCP and finally ended up going to a Spine specialist. According to the CT I had done in the ER, I had bulging discs at L2-L3, L3-L4, and L4-L5. It also showed that I had an herniated disc at L5-S1.

When I went to the Spine doctor and told him of my symptoms, he was extremely concerned about the severity of the herniated disc and informed me that if we did not do surgery ASAP to relieve the pressure the herniation was causing on the nerves in my spine, I would lose all use of my bladder and spend the rest of my life using catheters. He informed me that I would need approx. 5-6 weeks for recovery time before returning to work. I checked with Employee health and found out that I had just over 6 weeks of FMLA available, so I scheduled the surgery and had it done 5 days after the doctor suggested it. It was Friday the 13th. Hmmmm...... Maybe that's where I messed up.

The hospital I work(ed) at no longer did spine surgeries so I went to another hospital instead. It was suppose to be outpatient surgery, but when I woke up in the recovery room and as the nurse began talking to me about getting dressed to go home, I realized that I didn't have much feeling from my waist down. She called the doctors office and they decided to keep me overnight for observation. Slowly thru the rest of that day and night, I started getting some feeling back.....little by little....but I continued to have issues with numbness in my left calf and foot for a couple of weeks after. My doctor told me that the damage to the disc and nerves was more severe than he initially thought and that I would require more time for recovery than he initially thought. I spoke with the woman at the FMLA/Disabilities office and she told me that once my FMLA ran out, I would be terminated from my position, but that I could request a temporary leave of absence from my director. When I spoke to my director, she informed me that they were not allowing LOA's for anyone right now and that she would have to decline it. The woman at the FMLA/disabilities office informed me, tho, that due to the reason of my termination, I would still be able to receive short term disability for up to 180 days. Although this was just over 60% of my base pay, I was thankful, as it would be enough to, at least, cover my household bills. She also stated that I would need to have info sent to her from my doctor on a monthly basis to ensure I received my disability checks and that she would mail me reminder letters each month. When I got the first letter from her, I received it 2 days after the day she said she needed to hear from the doctor, or I would not receive my check. I called her and my doctors office repeatedly......frantically trying to fix this issue so that I could pay my bills and avoid eviction from my apartment. That next payday....I received no check. Thankfully, my mom was able to help me out and cover my rent, although it put her into a bind financially. I felt both grateful and guilty at the same time.

Before the next payday, I called the disability office again. She informed me that she never received anything from the doctors office, therefore, unless she got something that day, I would only get a check for one days pay. I told her that I had, personally, faxed to her the request for LOA, in which my doctor had filled out all the info regarding my return to work date, restrictions, etc, as well as his signature. She told me that since this was not on HIS letterhead, she could not prove that it was written by him and that she needed to receive something on his letterhead. I, immediately, called my doctors office AGAIN and with tears running down my face, asked them to re-fax the info on THEIR letterhead ASAP. They did so, and on my next check, "SHE" was kind enough to send me two days of disability pay. Again.....not enough to cover the bills.

Last week I received a phone call from the head of the Human Resources department. In a very sweet voice, she informed me that due to the reason of my termination, I was eligible for rehire, but that my position had been done away with....eliminated. So, if I wanted to be rehired, it would have to be for another position that I qualified for. She told me that she wanted to call me and let me know about this before I received a letter in the mail from her about it. I thought this was very kind of her. The day before yesterday, the letter finally arrived. In this letter (dated 11/8/2010), it stated that since my position was eliminated and no longer existed, my short term disability checks would end as of 11/1/2010. Wow! Thanks for the warning!!!!

So, yes......yesterday I wanted to crawl under that rock and die. The tears seemed never ending and I felt the walls around me caving in, showing me the streets I might possibly be forced to live on due to the inability to pay my bills. I sucked it up and filled out the online forms for unemployment and will, today, force myself to apply for food and medical assistance to get me by until my doctor feels I am physically able to return to work.....and then search for a job in a jobless World.

Let me also add, that I found it quite amusing that although the hospital I worked for eliminated my STAFF position as a unit secretary, they have now listed a POOL position for a unit secretary (this is more costly) and this position is being offered as "internal only". In other words, since I've been terminated and am no longer employed.....I cannot apply.

I have learned over the last couple of months that, although patients may receive top-notch care, it's an entirely different story for staff members. But, as I ALWAYS say.....everything happens for a reason. And while I have not yet figured out the reason that all of this has happened.....I'm sure it will come to me eventually. I will keep my chin up, as best as I can, get thru this though time and come out ahead!

Thank you, again....to my Mom and Kirsten, for not allowing me to sink into that hole of depression yesterday and forcing me to go to one of the most amazing and beautiful places I have ever seen. The positive energy I felt while I was there has encouraged me to fight! And one way or another....I will win this battle!!!!

Stay well and don't get sick!

About madwife2002, BSN, RN

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