Nurses all come from DYSFUNCTIONAL backgrounds??

  1. Ok I hope I get some responses on this..
    I work in a local hospital and I work on a telemetry floor. Its a high stress floor with lots of action always going on. We can't keep a manager. Its just very stressful. So our company ( for profit hospital - chs) has hired this woman to manage our floor til the end of the year. She called us all into a meeting the other day and this is what she said...

    " Do you realize that 70% of nurses come from dysfunctional backgrounds and 30% come from either sexually or physically abused backgrounds". Its no wonder "we" have trouble doing our jobs properly....."
    Now first off..I don't know what that has to do with us. She has a floor full of Very competant nurses..but they're overwealmed. We only occasionally have nurses aides to help. They've all quit or gone to night shift to ease their stress. So the speach went on to say that weither or Not we had NA's we are to know that the responsiblity of the care of the patient falls on us. We have to make sure the water is passed, the rooms are tidyed, the bath and bed is done and all our nursing dutys fullfilled as well.

    Now, I don't know about you...but thats a tall order. I have 6 patients to care for. I do my best to help them with bathing and the other things, but when push comes to shove, sometimes things have to be prioritized. I have to make passing my meds (properly and timely), signing off my charts orders, calling the MD's and fullfilling the treatments ect MY priority. Sometimes, baths have to be let go til the next day. This facility doesnt want to hire any more NA's. They don't see their role as very important obviously. BUT they do stress patient satisfaction as number one!!! I have sat in meetings and told them how to keep the ratings high..but they only answer with "we're looking at the situation and will come to a solution soon.." Bull crap!!! They don't want to hire any aides..thats how we see it.

    So the other day a nurse..a very competant nurse was called into the office the other day and told not to come back to work..because a patient had complained to the administration that her pain medication was not given to her in a timely manner. This was a direct admit, meaning they came from a doctors office with NO orders at all. The nurse had to track down the MD and get orders for pain. This took one hour to accomplish. SOUNDS RESONABLE TO ME, HOW ABOUT YOU NURSES? She's gone. Period.

    So we are all in a twist over all this. There is no way to do all they want us to do..if all it takes to get fired is a patient complaint. Nurses have no unions..no rights at all. The staff that attended the meeting are all fuming over the "articles" this manager quoted to us. I know for myself, I come from a very stable upbringing..and don't feel I fit into that profile. Most of my fellow classmates said the same thing. So do you think those comments were appropriate? We are going to go to the DON and complain about the situation....because its becoming intolerable.

    Your thoughts???
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   UM Review RN
    I'm thinking that as with all insults, it's really an attempt to make herself feel better about not being able to cut it as a nurse.

    In other words, you'll find that jealousy is a very common motivator for bullying, rudeness, and insulting behavior.

    You might ask her about it....in a clinical way, citing some interesting articles, of course....
  4. by   jodyangel
    Yeah angie, I agree. She said her sourses came from Nursing Journals.
    Sorry about the double post...I thought my pc was lagging!!
    OH, but she is a nurse. Said she started her career out as an "enema" girl. Then on to her LPN, then her RN and more degrees later I think she's forgotten about how nursing really is.....


    Quote from Angie O'Plasty, RN
    I'm thinking that as with all insults, it's really an attempt to make herself feel better about not being able to cut it as a nurse.

    In other words, you'll find that jealousy is a very common motivator for bullying, rudeness, and insulting behavior.

    You might ask her about it....in a clinical way, citing some interesting articles, of course....
  5. by   NurCrystal22
    Just because a person comes from a "dysfunctional" background, doesn't mean that they ARE dysfunctional. I wouldn't get twisted over what your manager said.... forget it...

    ~Crystal
  6. by   RENAISSANCE RN
    *****!! what does a remark about upbringing have to do with care?

    Hearing stuff like this makes me want to work for a unionized hospital...
    Abraham Lincoln had disfunction in his family, IMHO he was the best president............................

    People are cracked...........
  7. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from NurCrystal22
    Just because a person comes from a "dysfunctional" background, doesn't mean that they ARE dysfunctional. I wouldn't get twisted over what your manager said.... forget it...

    ~Crystal
    See, to me it's the way it was said. It was said like it was meant to crack the whip over unruly children, not to uplift or enlighten.

    It was said like it was meant as a put-down of nurses in general and this group in particular.

    And it says way more about her than it does about the nurses she's targeting here.

    The remarks were inappropriate at the very least. Because no, my childhood and my private life are not her business. I'm not so self-abnegating that I would put up with that kind of talk without challenging it in some way.

    It's not right.

    Nurses have to put up with enough without being labelled as emotional morons too. I mean, really! :angryfire
  8. by   Cute_CNA
    Quote from jodyangel
    OH, but she is a nurse. Said she started her career out as an "enema" girl.
    An "enema girl" :chuckle I guess in some ways, she still is one!

    I don't see where talking about how nurses supposedly come from a dysfunctional background is supposed to help morale. I think instead of trying to pinpoint where the problems are and fixing those problems, she's just trying to lay the blame on nurses.

    I had a boss once that was actually pleased when I blamed myself about problems that occurred due to poor organization of that business, but when I pointed out the poor organization and the things that needed improvement, he got very defensive. In other words, he didn't want to fix what was wrong; he'd rather have some of his employees get stressed out and blame themselves. After all, I was expendable, and there's always someone else that will take the job, right? I quit that crappy job, and felt so much better afterwards. By the way, to this day, I still see an ad in the paper for the position. No one wants to stay in it.
  9. by   Judee Smudee
    Over the years I have witnessed managment people who ought to know better do things and says things that left me in a state of shock. Here is another fine example.
  10. by   dorimar
    I believe that most nurses do come for a dysfucntional background. Who else would take such responsibiity on themselves, and harbor as much guilt as we do? Who else would tolerate so much crap? Case in point: all your co-workeres are furious about this, nursing jobs are a dime a dozen, hospitals are screaming for nurses, and yet you all stay. It is ironic that she talks about your past dysfunction at the same time she is exploiting it. I came from a background of guilt and conditional love. I felt i had to fix evertything and do everything right in order to be accepted (and indeed i did growing up). What a tough profession for someone who feels they have to fix everything (as SO MUCH cannot be fixed).

    At age 40 , and after 20 years of nursing, I finally have grown up. Part of it is that by standing up for my patients, I'v learned to stand up for myself. Union sounds great, but you don't need it. You walk. you walk. you walk. Then you make sure they know why you walked. Make sure that you make it to your exit interview. Never forget how marketable you are. You don't need a union to take care of you. You've had the world on your shoulders and carried it just fine. It's time you took care of yourself.
    Last edit by dorimar on Oct 17, '05
  11. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from dorimar
    I believe that most nurses do come for a dysfucntional background. Who else would take such responsibiity on themselves, and harbor as much guilt as we do? Who else would tolerate so much crap? Case in point: all your co-workeres are furious about this, nursing jobs are a dime a dozen, hospitals are screaming for nurses, and yet you all stay. It is ironic that she talks about your past dysfunction at the same time she is exploiting it. I came from a background of guilt and conditional love. I felt i had to fix evertything and do everything right in order to be accepted (and indeed i did growing up). What a tough profession for someone who feels they have to fix everything (as SO MUCH cannot be fixed).

    At age 40 , and after 20 years of nursing, I finally have grown up. Part of it is that by standing up for my patients, I'v learned to stand up for myself. Union sounds great, but you don't need it. You walk. you walk. you walk. Then you make sure they know why you walked. Make sure that you make it to your exit interview. Never forget how marketable you are. You don't need a union to take care of you. You've had the world on your shoulders and carried it just fine. It's time you took care of yourself.
    This is a great post.

    Why would anyone put up with a nurse getting fired for not giving pain medication that she didn't have order for???? Why are you all not going to the mat for your co-worker?

    No one is able to take advantage of you without your permission.

    Ask for the journals with the "dysfunctional" articles.

    And who defines "dysfuntional" anyway? No one has a perfect family. No one grows up without having some pain in their lives.

    That is a really stupid thing to say - and no way to motivate anyone.

    steph
  12. by   Jessy_RN
    I come from a "dysfunctional background", and nursing was not my first career. I really don't see that person's point.

    Very insulting if you will...........but even more ignorant!
  13. by   nursemomruns
    [QUOTE=jodyangel]" Do you realize that 70% of nurses come from dysfunctional backgrounds and 30% come from either sexually or physically abused backgrounds". Its no wonder "we" have trouble doing our jobs properly....."QUOTE]

    I say, show me your references - your PEER-REVIEWED references. Then I'd like to remind her that she, too, is a nurse and ask her what her dysfunction is.
  14. by   rn/writer
    Sounds to me like there is a thinly veiled message in this diatribe. Something along the lines of, "I know that most of you suffer from varying degress of people pleasing, hyper-responsibility, and co-dependency. . . . and, boy, am I going to exploit the heck out of each and every chink in your armor."

    If it weren't so perverse and so diabolically targeted (hey, I know, let's shoot the wounded!), it'd be kind of funny.

    Unfortunately, it's just maddening and sad.

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