I'm a new nurse at my first RN job. I work in a large urban hospital in the Midwest. We are a level 1 trauma center so we can be quite busy. I work on a neurology floor that also acts like a med surg unit as well. I have been off orientation approximately 6 months. I love my coworkers (I work on the night shift) and I have had decent success there (my patients like me, or so my leads have said, and I was nominated for a Daisy award at the three month mark which was pretty cool).
Unfortunately, I'm miserable.
I specifically sought out a med surg floor because teachers and relatives who are nurses said that med surg is a great place for new grads to start in order to learn time management, assessment skills, etc. I had zero interest in med surg in school (it was my least favorite clinical rotation as a matter of fact). I was happier in ICU and oncology.
My biggest issues with my current gig are the nurse patient ratio and the pace. Also, many of our patients are very trying (since we're neuro we get a lot of dementia patients who can become violent, plus we get a decent amount of everybody's favorites: alcohol detoxers and narcotic seekers).
I had been having a really rocky start to my career: getting out of the door on time had been an impossibility for me until recently since I was always behind on charting. That has improved, but not by much.
In short, I feel like my job is too much, too fast. My coworkers are beyond awesome in how helpful and friendly they are, but I'm definitely the weakest link on that floor. I simply cannot get a grasp on the pacing, the multitasking and keeping track of everything that needs to be done with my patients. It's nerve-wracking to the point where I feel nauseous and feel my chest tightening on the drive in.
I'm sorry if this turned into a gripe session, I didn't mean for it too. I'm simply frustrated and feel trapped. What other options are there for me at this point? I'd love to have a lower nurse/patient ratio (wouldn't everyone?). I've considered OR, PACU, ICU, among other options. I just think it would be a red flag for hiring managers if they saw that I left my current job in under a year.
I feel like I can't 'hack it' here. I didn't want my job to feel like simply surviving for 12 hours, but that's where I'm at. I've had to stop myself from snapping at my more obnoxious patients as well (never looks good on a 'How did we do?' survey when the RN tears into the patient).
Advice welcome and appreciated. This is my second career and I don't want to back out now. I'm not a stranger to hard work, but this is beyond me.