Need help..hate my job :(

Nurses General Nursing

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Hey everyone,

I'm coming here because I need advice and i'm starting to question why I even went into nursing to begin with. Anyone I talk to about this who isn't a nurse just does not understand :(

I'm a nurse on a really busy stepdown/telemetry unit at a hospital, I have been there for about 9 months right out of school. I was so happy to be hired on a critical care floor right out of school and extremely thankful for the opportunity, but I am extremely unhappy. Although I feel more comfortable now than I did first off orientation, I'm starting to think I either chose the wrong profession or I am in the wrong place.

I love my patients and I love taking care of people, my manager told me I am doing great, but I HATE my job. I dread going to work every single day. I work night shift. I have had really really bad nights. I feel like I am the only nurse who keeps having horrible nights where patients are in super critical condition and I need to call the rapid response team. The other nurses on my floor are awesome and so is my manager, but these horrible nights stay with me for months and I have such anxiety about it. On my days off all I do is worry about when I have to work next. I had a really bad night recently which I will not get into but it was horrible and involved a patient screaming in pain. I do not even want to go back into work because i felt so horrible about this one patient. We have 5 patients at night and they are all usually very critical. I feel like i have no time to even spend with my patients because i have so much work to do. I feel guilty about not doing enough for my patients. I get flap from the day team if one stupid thing isn't done even if I explain that my night was horrible and i spent all night with one patient who was very critical. I give props to all the RN's out there who can handle high stress situations. I don't want to do it. I know every RN job out there has its pros and cons. I am hoping i can find a job where I am happier than i am now.

I don't mean to rant but I need to get out. I need to know what else i can do. I would love a job where I can spend more time with patients, where is it slower pace. I think some nurses are great in critical care, but i am sensitive and cannot handle the stress over and over and over.

I haven't even been at my job for a year which is why if i leave now i think it will be hard to find another job, and i know my manager would be really disappointed if i left now. With that being said, I do not feel like myself and I just want to be happy.

Thank you for anyone who read this horribly long post, ANY advice is appreciated.

allnurses Guide

NurseCard, ADN

2,847 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

There are tons of options available to you, as far as nursing jobs with a slower,

less stressful pace. Psych nursing is one option. I loved going from a post

surgery/ortho floor to an adult psych unit. I worked night shift on the psych

unit. Very low stress!

CalArmy

95 Posts

I think it's good you are talking about it. It really sounds like nursing is for you but this unit isn't. Usually people want a good year under your belt before looking. If you like the hospital you are in maybe start putting out feelers.

Cat365

570 Posts

You only have three months left before you have a year in. Take some time to examine what you like about your job. Is it a good organization to work for? Do you like the flow of a hospital but not the acuity of your patients? What areas of nursing interest you? If you decide you like your organization but not the patient acuity look at other positions within that organization. If you like and trust your manager sit down with her/him and discuss it. However you need to know what you want beforehand otherwise you might get talked into another position you won't like or guilted into staying.

If you decide that you want to leave take the time to brush up on your resume and job hunt. Three months can go by quickly when you are doing these things.

PS. You also need to work on leaving work at work. Anywhere you go patients will touch your heart but you can't carry it home. Sympathy and empathy are wonderful qualities in a nurse but your mental health can't handle loosing that many pieces of your heart.

Specializes in ED, psych.
There are tons of options available to you, as far as nursing jobs with a slower,

less stressful pace. Psych nursing is one option. I loved going from a post

surgery/ortho floor to an adult psych unit. I worked night shift on the psych

unit. Very low stress!

Depends on the psych unit.

I walked in two days ago on a rapid response being called on my patient ... my schizophrenic adult patient who fought us tooth and nail.

Also define "low stress." I have a guy who loves to expose himself to women, a woman who threw the weighted chair at my preceptor because she didn't like his response with one of her questions, and a woman who refuses to walk because she thinks someone poisoned her limbs with lead.

And this, including the rapid response, was all on Friday.

I see psych tossed out as an "easy" option quite often here on AN, and maybe it's considered easy due to jobs viewed as being "easier" because it's our niche. I certainly find it enjoyable, preferable to other specialities because it's *my* niche. But easy?

I'd encourage the OP to find that niche.

cleback

1,381 Posts

Depends on the psych unit.

I walked in two days ago on a rapid response being called on my patient ... my schizophrenic adult patient who fought us tooth and nail.

Also define "low stress." I have a guy who loves to expose himself to women, a woman who threw the weighted chair at my preceptor because she didn't like his response with one of her questions, and a woman who refuses to walk because she thinks someone poisoned her limbs with lead.

And this, including the rapid response, was all on Friday.

I see psych tossed out as an "easy" option quite often here on AN, and maybe it's considered easy due to jobs viewed as being "easier" because it's our niche. I certainly find it enjoyable, preferable to other specialities because it's *my* niche. But easy?

I'd encourage the OP to find that niche.

I second this.... depends on the psych floor if it's less stressful or not. I've worked psych, IMC, gen medsurg, float... my worst nights still belong to psych. Find your niche, op.

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

"Stressful" is relative.

I find psych interesting and stimulating. I enjoy the tyes of challenges that come up.

I found critical care exhausting. I would come home from clinical and cry, and that was as a student. I knew that was not for me. It's funny because my friend who is a physician really pushed me to go to the ICU. She just thought that's where the smartest nurses should go. Lol. She literally has no idea.

OP, have you thought about home health?

You could also transfer to another floor.

At ant rate, 9 months is long enough to start looking, especially since it will realistically take 3 months to find a new position.

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

Have you ever considered actual ICU? I don't mean to downplay your particular department. I just mean that perhaps if you were a unit for critical care, you'd be able to devote yourself to two very sick patients vs. five who could turn that way at any moment.

I did floor nursing and ICU, but I never ever did stepdown. My hat's always been off to stepdown nurses. Half of those patients probably do need the ICU but the ICU is full or they "technically" don't meet sepsis criteria or just barely get by without pressors.

I think since you have your assessment skills and experience with very sick people, the ICU may be a good fit. I know several nurses who felt that ICU was less stressful than stepdown. It's much easier to split yourself in two than five. And the resources available in the ICU tend to be closer at hand.

HeySis, BSN, RN

435 Posts

Specializes in PACU.

One thing I love to ask other nurses (friends) is what they like most and least about their unit. The ones that have answered the time they are able to spend with their patients have been in psych, home health, hospice, wound care and infusion therapy. These nurses tend to have the same patients for long periods of times (much longer then the normal couple of days in an inpatient unit) and while they each have their own stressors, they have more time to get to know their patients and feel like they make an impact (their words, not mine).

I have done home health and hospice, and while the paperwork and hours can be horrible (depending on your companies on-call policies), you develop a unique bond with people when you come into their most personal spaces (kitchens, bedrooms and bathrooms).

Most of nursing has trade offs, and what each individual nurse finds stressful varies. So I agree with other posters that finding your "niche" is so important. I will also say that are dozens of different types of nursing so you may have several niches or your niche may change over time. And that's ok too.

Marshall1

991 Posts

Maybe look into home health or hospice (though call is usually required)..you can go ahead and begin applying other places and depending on your hospitals policy, to other units there maybe. If you want completely out of the hospital setting look to MD offices etc. Go to sites like Indeed.com, glassdoor.com, usajobs.gov...with your experience in CVICU even with being a few months shy of an RN for a year you definitely have options. I personally disagree with the staying in a position for a year if it creates as much stress and mental/physical health issues as your position seems to be creating for you. NO job is worth that. You can start applying for other jobs and just say you are interested in trying another area of nursing.

Jolie, BSN

6,375 Posts

Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

I'm going to offer a different perspective. I may be way off base, and if so, please feel free to let me know that, but I would like you to consider this:

I think you are doing just fine, clinically speaking. You sound like a highly conscientious professional working in a reasonably supportive, albeit challenging environment. I believe you may have had unrealistic expectations about the ease of settling into a routine in your first nursing job. Very few basic nursing programs have access to sufficient clinical instructors and placements to allow students to fully experience the role of a staff nurse prior to graduation. Most new grads have never had to manage (independently or with minimal assistance) a full patient load providing direct care and coordinating with other disciplines, family, clergy, etc. Most have mastered care of 2-3 patients, at best, often without juggling the responsibilities other than direct care. While this is often the maximum that the academic setting can offer, it is not realistic preparation for the workplace.

New grads have a lot to master in their first 2 years: Specific knowledge of the pathophysiology, pharmacology, etc. of their patient population, clinical skills specific to that population, organization and time management skills, politics and social environment of their unit and facility, networking with peers and other disciplines, etc. It takes time and patience with one's self to accomplish all of this. I believe your manager and co-worker understand this and are pleased with your progress. I believe you are suffering anxiety and stress largely because you don't grasp this and are measuring yourself against an in-attainable standard.

Please consider this in deciding whether you would be better served by staying on your unit a while longer to continue to master these important skills, or whether you would prefer to seek out another area of care, where I believe you are likely to begin the process all over again.

Also, my most important suggestion to you is to seek professional guidance from a counselor or therapist who can help you manage stress and anxiety, whichever career decision you make. It will serve you well in your personal and professional life. My very best to you. I would be pleased to be your employer.

Specializes in Public Health.

My story is a little different because I initially LOVED my unit (neuro med/surg) and 4 years later I HATE IT. I caught on really quickly because I was a UC/CNA on my unit for 1 1/2 years and did all my clinicals in my hospital, but over the years the unit and hospital have changed and my unit has changed directors. These changes caused a mass exodus to different units and now my floor is all new grads. Every night is crazy and its such an unsupportive environment for new grads and for the more experienced nurses like myself who find it unacceptable.

I am leaving the hospital altogether for an opportunity outside of direct patient care and maybe thats the answer for you, although I do think you should wait until a year has passed first.

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