My mother is embarassed that I'm going to be a nurse... - page 2

Imagine that... For her that is a sign of underachievement, that her beloved daughter is going to be carrying out someone else's orders and emptying bedpans. She is actually very supportive of my... Read More

  1. by   Penny8611
    I know a woman who has a P.hD in astrophysics, working at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab. Her husband is an MD.

    Anytime her mother introduces her to someone she always makes a point of saying, "Oh, she's a PhD, but her husband is the REAL doctor."

    She's a ROCKET SCIENTIST and her mother is still not impressed.

    I echo everyone else here: it's your Mom's issue, not yours!
  2. by   crissrn27
    Well, since your mom won't say it, I will. I am proud you made the decision to become a nurse, and the nursing profession is lucky to be getting you!

    My Aunt Betty, whom I loved dearly, was sooo upset when I decided to go to nursing school. They didn't have an opening at first, so I took a CNA course. One night I was talking about making all 100's on the test in that course and she said "But that is just like learning the ABC's, you won't do well when you are in nursing school".........I was like, gee, thanks! Anyway, I did do OK, and have been a nurse for almost 10 years now.

    Found out later she was worried about me catching something, and working so hard. She was an RT, and eventually died at 49 from an infection she got from a pt (she had been immunocompromised most of her life).

    Anyway, is your mom maybe worried like my aunt?
  3. by   vickynurse
    [QUOTE=iriska_meller;2437113]Imagine that... For her that is a sign of underachievement, that her beloved daughter is going to be carrying out someone else's orders and emptying bedpans.
    QUOTE]

    If you have a chance, you might want to read about Florence Nightengale's experience. Her family had a similar reaction to her career choice.

    I didn't realize this attitude was still around today. I've been a nurse for 30 years and have had nothing but positive feedback from my family and friends. Even physicians now days are much more respectful than they used to be. Of course, it may be my gray hair or confidence that make the difference there

    I'm so sorry for all of you who are facing such discouraging circumstances. My advice is to continue to follow your dream. Someday you will be appreciated even by your family.
  4. by   Megsd
    My mom was never really unsupportive of me, but she just didn't get it for a long time. Until her aunt was in the hospital for a COPD exacerbation and my mom was terrified. I told her a bit about the disease, the usual treatment in the hospital, what she could expect after discharge, etc. My mom was so relieved she started crying and said "I had no idea you had to know all of that! You're so smart!"

    Now she brags to all her friends how smart her nurse daughter is.
  5. by   RN BSN 2009
    :angryfirePlease tell me which program is an RN or BSN where the only thing you learn is how to clean a bedpan
  6. by   prmenrs
    All I can hope is that someday she will come around. Meanwhile, ask for her support (and prayers if she's the praying kind of mom), anyhow. It IS your decision, and, hopefully, someone in your family WILL support you.
  7. by   PeachPie
    I'm lucky that I don't have this problem, at least not with my family. However, when somebody tells me that I'm "too smart to be a nurse," I sarcastically say something along the lines of, "Wow, you're so smart. You could be a man/woman (their opposite sex." I'll also ask them if they'd really want a stupid nurse caring for them. Those two comments usually shut them up.
  8. by   Siss
    There is nothing, and I mean nothing, to be ashamed of by becoming a nurse. Ours is one of the most trusted professions. Even above MD's and especially above lawyers. A good nurse must be intelligent and motivated, as well as, compassionate and sacrificing. We are closer to being God's hands than anyone on this earth.
  9. by   Multicollinearity
    Wow do I understand this problem. I've posted before about my father's opinion of nurses. He has called nurses "the over-paid dumb rocks you have to put up with so you can get your pills." Strangely, his attitude doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I know it's coming from a bad place with him, and in that way, I don't want his approval anymore because it wouldn't be healthy.

    I'd have to parse out this attitude from a family member and see if it comes from ignorance or hate. If it's due to ignorance, I can explain what specifically nurses do and why they are so important. If it's hate or disrespect - misogyny - like with my father...then I don't care to get involved in that discussion at all.
    Last edit by Multicollinearity on Oct 8, '07
  10. by   Multicollinearity
    Quote from Penny8611
    I know a woman who has a P.hD in astrophysics, working at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab. Her husband is an MD.

    Anytime her mother introduces her to someone she always makes a point of saying, "Oh, she's a PhD, but her husband is the REAL doctor."

    She's a ROCKET SCIENTIST and her mother is still not impressed.

    I echo everyone else here: it's your Mom's issue, not yours!
    Here's what I don't understand: how did physicians become the tops of everything, God-like, in the United States? In other countries, PhD "doctors" are viewed as higher than MDs. How did this happen in the US?
  11. by   vonxojn
    I have a friend that was going to nursing school for an LPN. Her mother was an RN. The mother always had something to say about my friend becoming an LPN instead of an RN like her. Well I can see where the mother as an RN, would want her daughter to be an RN BUT it's what the daughter should want, not everyone else. The daughter wants to be an RN but wanted to start out as an LPN first-Her Choice.
  12. by   Dalzac
    For some people you can never please them. When I told mine I was going to nursing school she laughed long and hard. Told me I would never finish and I couldn't hack it.
    When I did finished she told me that I would quit within a year. One day I had to watch monitors and ask her if she wanted to sit in the monitor room and talk since I had to work on her visit.
    While she was talking to me she asked "Do they know you have no idea what you're doing?" I said What??? She then told me that she knew I was too stupid to learn what all the rhythms were, because she raised me and I was dumb!!!
    By this time I had been a cardiac nurse for 5 yrs and watched monitors for 4 yrs before and during school. I told her to go back to her home and leave me alone. She was abusive most of my life and never missed a chance to say mean and hurtful things.
    I pray that she gets over herself about the being ashamed. In here, we know how hard nursing is, And I know that being a nurse is more fulfilling than any thing I have ever done, In my life I am very, very proud to be called a nurse and beside my kids, it was one of the best accomplishments I have ever done. Regardless of what anyone says.
  13. by   diapason05
    Quote from iriska_meller
    Imagine that... For her that is a sign of underachievement, that her beloved daughter is going to be carrying out someone else's orders and emptying bedpans.
    She is actually very supportive of my learning, helping me with childcare and such, but she wants me to immediately go on to become at least an NP. Anything less would be a shame and a waste of my talents. I told her - why don't you tell others that I am a brain surgeon if it makes you feel better? But apparently, its her inner shame that's bothering her. Even if she only means it as a way to stimulate me to continue my education, it still hurts a great deal...
    Thanks for listening........ reading, that is

    Don't worry, my mom was kind of like that ,too. My parents always thought I would be a doctor or a lawyer. My dad always supported me in whatever I wanted (he still does). I was pursuing a singing career from when I grad high school (2003) until 2007. My mom never was proud of me or believed in my singing ability until I beat out a couple thousand girls and worked in L.A. Then, when singing didn't work out, but mom started just pushing me to go back to school. She really wanted my sister an I to get good college degrees and marry guys who had a lot of potential. she bothered us a lot about this. I started school and enjoyed it and she is at the point now where her main concern is that I just graduate with a bachelors degree. She often puts my sister and I down and is quite negative about us maybe not finishing college (we have been taking forever to get a degree,, sis is in 3rd year of community college)-- she also put down my husband being in the military because she thought we wouldnt have enough money.... but i know why she is like that. She was extremelypoor when she was younger and she never finished college. AFter my dad and her divorced she had a hard time financially. All she wants is for us to do better. I know she willbe proud of my sister and I both when we finally graduate. My momis terrified I'll end up pregnant now that I'm married.
    For MYSELF, I want that NP eventually. I just want to have a lot of education.. its just something I really value and I dream of being in that FNP position. (I want to diagnose). Your mom is just being a mom I think.

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