My mother is embarassed that I'm going to be a nurse...

Nurses General Nursing

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Imagine that... For her that is a sign of underachievement, that her beloved daughter is going to be carrying out someone else's orders and emptying bedpans.

She is actually very supportive of my learning, helping me with childcare and such, but she wants me to immediately go on to become at least an NP. Anything less would be a shame and a waste of my talents. I told her - why don't you tell others that I am a brain surgeon if it makes you feel better? But apparently, its her inner shame that's bothering her. Even if she only means it as a way to stimulate me to continue my education, it still hurts a great deal...

Thanks for listening........ reading, that is :)

I know a woman who has a P.hD in astrophysics, working at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab. Her husband is an MD.

Anytime her mother introduces her to someone she always makes a point of saying, "Oh, she's a PhD, but her husband is the REAL doctor."

She's a ROCKET SCIENTIST and her mother is still not impressed.

I echo everyone else here: it's your Mom's issue, not yours!

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I know a woman who has a P.hD in astrophysics, working at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab. Her husband is an MD.

Anytime her mother introduces her to someone she always makes a point of saying, "Oh, she's a PhD, but her husband is the REAL doctor."

She's a ROCKET SCIENTIST and her mother is still not impressed.

I echo everyone else here: it's your Mom's issue, not yours!

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Specializes in nursery, L and D.

Well, since your mom won't say it, I will. I am proud you made the decision to become a nurse, and the nursing profession is lucky to be getting you!

My Aunt Betty, whom I loved dearly, was sooo upset when I decided to go to nursing school. They didn't have an opening at first, so I took a CNA course. One night I was talking about making all 100's on the test in that course and she said "But that is just like learning the ABC's, you won't do well when you are in nursing school".........I was like, gee, thanks! Anyway, I did do OK, and have been a nurse for almost 10 years now.

Found out later she was worried about me catching something, and working so hard. She was an RT, and eventually died at 49 from an infection she got from a pt (she had been immunocompromised most of her life).

Anyway, is your mom maybe worried like my aunt?

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Specializes in critical care, management, med surg, edu.
Imagine that... For her that is a sign of underachievement, that her beloved daughter is going to be carrying out someone else's orders and emptying bedpans.

QUOTE]

If you have a chance, you might want to read about Florence Nightengale's experience. Her family had a similar reaction to her career choice.

I didn't realize this attitude was still around today. I've been a nurse for 30 years and have had nothing but positive feedback from my family and friends. Even physicians now days are much more respectful than they used to be. Of course, it may be my gray hair or confidence that make the difference there:)

I'm so sorry for all of you who are facing such discouraging circumstances. My advice is to continue to follow your dream. Someday you will be appreciated even by your family.

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Specializes in Neuro.

My mom was never really unsupportive of me, but she just didn't get it for a long time. Until her aunt was in the hospital for a COPD exacerbation and my mom was terrified. I told her a bit about the disease, the usual treatment in the hospital, what she could expect after discharge, etc. My mom was so relieved she started crying and said "I had no idea you had to know all of that! You're so smart!"

Now she brags to all her friends how smart her nurse daughter is.

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:angryfirePlease tell me which program is an RN or BSN where the only thing you learn is how to clean a bedpan

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

All I can hope is that someday she will come around. Meanwhile, ask for her support (and prayers if she's the praying kind of mom), anyhow. It IS your decision, and, hopefully, someone in your family WILL support you.

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Specializes in EC, IMU, LTAC.

I'm lucky that I don't have this problem, at least not with my family. However, when somebody tells me that I'm "too smart to be a nurse," I sarcastically say something along the lines of, "Wow, you're so smart. You could be a man/woman (their opposite sex." I'll also ask them if they'd really want a stupid nurse caring for them. Those two comments usually shut them up.

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Specializes in PACU.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, to be ashamed of by becoming a nurse. Ours is one of the most trusted professions. Even above MD's and especially above lawyers. A good nurse must be intelligent and motivated, as well as, compassionate and sacrificing. We are closer to being God's hands than anyone on this earth.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

Wow do I understand this problem. I've posted before about my father's opinion of nurses. He has called nurses "the over-paid dumb rocks you have to put up with so you can get your pills." Strangely, his attitude doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I know it's coming from a bad place with him, and in that way, I don't want his approval anymore because it wouldn't be healthy.

I'd have to porifice out this attitude from a family member and see if it comes from ignorance or hate. If it's due to ignorance, I can explain what specifically nurses do and why they are so important. If it's hate or disrespect - misogyny - like with my father...then I don't care to get involved in that discussion at all.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.
I know a woman who has a P.hD in astrophysics, working at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab. Her husband is an MD.

Anytime her mother introduces her to someone she always makes a point of saying, "Oh, she's a PhD, but her husband is the REAL doctor."

She's a ROCKET SCIENTIST and her mother is still not impressed.

I echo everyone else here: it's your Mom's issue, not yours!

Here's what I don't understand: how did physicians become the tops of everything, God-like, in the United States? In other countries, PhD "doctors" are viewed as higher than MDs. How did this happen in the US?

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Specializes in Surgical Nursing, Agency Nursing, LTC.

I have a friend that was going to nursing school for an LPN. Her mother was an RN. The mother always had something to say about my friend becoming an LPN instead of an RN like her. Well I can see where the mother as an RN, would want her daughter to be an RN BUT it's what the daughter should want, not everyone else. The daughter wants to be an RN but wanted to start out as an LPN first-Her Choice.

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