My husband wants me OUT of nursing - page 2

He finally came out and said it... Over the years we have been together he has watched me wreck my body (floor work), work to many hours (salary) and be screwed over & treated like crap (middle... Read More

  1. by   SmilingBluEyes
    A stupid question I have to ask.


    What do YOU want? Sounds like he wants you happy. So decide what that would be and go for it.
  2. by   llg
    I agree with SmilingBluEyes, "What do YOU want?" Do you really want that job you just applied for? or are you just running away?

    It sounds to me that you might really need a break from nursing -- or at least a break from the type of nursing you have been doing. However, there is a difference between "taking a break" and "leaving for good." Perhaps, after a little while, you will find a way to find a way to build upon your nursing expertise and use your good ideas to make the world of nursing a better place.

    I find it really interesting that so many nurses associate "being supportive of the staff" with "incompatible with management." Isn't that sad? Shouldn't the people who have the good ideas and are supportive of the staff be the ones to go back to school and develop the expertise needed to change the system?

    llg -- who sometimes needs a break, too ... and who may someday leave for good ... but who, for now, keeps trying to develop new skills to try to make things better.
  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    llg, you are HOT today. your posts are awesome.
  4. by   Dr. Kate
    My first reaction on reading your post was "what a great chance to learn IT and IS" with that expertise think of what great things you could do back in healthcare. Consider ANIA (American Informatics Nursing Assoc.) for information and compatible people. I know someone who started out in Peds and ended up in Informatics.

    Good Luck and keep in touch
  5. by   mattsmom81
    Originally posted by llg


    I find it really interesting that so many nurses associate "being supportive of the staff" with "incompatible with management." Isn't that sad? Shouldn't the people who have the good ideas and are supportive of the staff be the ones to go back to school and develop the expertise needed to change the system?

    In a perfect world this would indeed occur. Those of us who have tried midlevel management have recieved slaps in the face too many times for 'siding with the staff' or attempting to make things better for the staff through experience based problem solving.

    The harsh reality in too many hospitals? Upper level management/CEO's want to primarily make money and cover their butt, and don't mind doing either off the backs of nurses, IME. This is why there's a 'nursing shortage'..nurses are choosing not to work. I see too many upper level managers giving lip service, trinkets, and 'symbolism over substance' which is not enough anymore. THAT is what is sad IMHO.

    Now... I must adjust my mindset to this bit of knowledge, and I do. The above is my experience and that of many of my friends, coworkers and mentors in life and on BB's. If you are not experiencing this, and are in a midlevel position, I suggest you are working in an unusually good facility. Stay there.

    And if you're going to school to make things better....hope you remember your goals once you're there. I've watched too many forget and adopt the CEO moneyline in self defense. This is sad too.:stone
  6. by   llg
    To Mattsmom81: I agree with you that middle-level management positions are among the toughest in the nursing profession. I don't disagree really with anything that you wrote. I was just trying to make the case that if the ideas of the original poster (kids-r-fun) are really that terrific and she is really successful at making things better, then it would be a shame to lose her to nursing. She might be one of those people we really need to move into a higher level position to have more influence.

    llg
  7. by   NurseGirlKaren
    Nancy--does the non compete clause still apply even though they fired you?
  8. by   Tweety
    Good luck!
  9. by   LoisJean
    But I agree with Dr. Kate. Why not, in time combine both careers into one? Why not think about setting up your own business, in the future, with the skills you have developed and the skills you are about to develop.

    In my experience, nurses who refuse to trade empathy for corporate apathy are the ones who function the best in Entrepreneural ventures. Fact is, many nurses who are "politically incorrect" are the ones who seem to pave the better road for others to follow.

    I wish I had a dollar for every nurse I know who is 'restless, irritable and discontent in the employment setting because NO MATTER where the nurse is working, no matter how many different facilities and environments, the same brick wall eventually appears.

    The go-get'um nurses have a thousand excellent and workable ideas for change within the structures they are employed in, so they are eventually moved upward-- only to find themselves in a position of prostitution.

    As Agnus says, you may be working for a pretty good employer- and if so, stay there. But if you have a deep burning desire to branch out into something new and different, then for heavens sake go for it...what do you have to lose? What would be the worst thing that could happen?

    Jeez, I hate it when nurses are compromised simply because they are good at what they do.

    Any way, my 2 senses worth

    Peace,
    Lois Jean
  10. by   sjoe
    "My problem is I have an eye for what needs to be fixed and good ideas (that work) on how to make a situation better and end up in management...unfortunately I am not the image of what Corp wants in a manager, not to mention plain spoken & loyal to "my" staff...politically incorrect of an admin. "

    Truer words were never spoken. In nursing, having such a clear eye, and plain speech on top of it, IS a major problem.
    Good luck in your new field and hopefully they will appreciate your abilities. (It would be a nice change.)
  11. by   emily_mom
    I'm proud of you....

    Kristy
  12. by   Agnus
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    I have to ask.


    What do YOU want? Sounds like he wants you happy. So decide what that would be and go for it.
    ABSOLUTELY.
  13. by   kids
    I want to get up in the morning, go to work and do my job. I want to go home at the end of my shift and leave the job at work. I want to go on vacation and not be on call from 2000 miles away.

    What do I NOT want?

    I want to not have to care about people, their families and their lives. I want to not be hit, kicked, spit on and swore at. I want to not care about funding, staffing, recruiting, cutting costs and filling out the correct form in black ink.
    God I am so burnt. I am just so tired of caring.
    The hardest part of this is giving up the "label"...I have been a nurse for 12+ years...after this long it has become part of my identity.

    The sad part is that it was ONE employer over 3 years that pushed me over the edge.
    I am still reeling from the hypocricy of a company that provides the family and kid focused services that my former company did would penalize, discipline and fire an employee for using their sick and vacation time to care for their terminally ill Mother and a grandchild born prematurely with a heart defect (the official cause of my termination that was given to unemployment is excessive absenteeism).

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