Male coworkers harrassing female staff...

  1. Hi ya'll! I have a problem...

    My male coworkers are like a pack of wolves. One member of the pack was recently fired due to his terrible attitude. OK. So that's one down and two to go! I have another one who won't keep his hands to himself. One day he was stroking my hand, putting his hands around my waist, etc... I told him to stop and keep his distance. He is not easily redirectable. This has been a recurring problem ever since he began working there.

    Then there's a third one. I can deal with him for the most part because he is all words and no touching.

    Back to the coworker whom I'll refer to as "hands". I've spoken to my nurse manager and staff has talked to him regarding this behavior. He was calm for a while after that but still insists on talking to me like trash. Tomorrow I want to give him a letter from my husband and myself outlining the behavior I expect from him in the future. My husband is extremely angry and so am I. This is my last time telling him to stop before it gets ugly.

    What should this letter say?

    This guy is such a creep. He tells me that he can see through my pants and that I have a nice a**. Inapprpriate to the highest degree...and unacceptable to say the least! I feel sick thinking about this. Before I break his face and/or his fingers I need to do something...
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  2. 55 Comments

  3. by   adrienurse
    That's exactly what human resources is for
  4. by   bluesky
    Quote from Sgt_Chunk_Spelunker
    Hi ya'll! I have a problem...

    My male coworkers are like a pack of wolves. One member of the pack was recently fired due to his terrible attitude. OK. So that's one down and two to go! I have another one who won't keep his hands to himself. One day he was stroking my hand, putting his hands around my waist, etc... I told him to stop and keep his distance. He is not easily redirectable. This has been a recurring problem ever since he began working there.

    Then there's a third one. I can deal with him for the most part because he is all words and no touching.

    Back to the coworker whom I'll refer to as "hands". I've spoken to my nurse manager and staff has talked to him regarding this behavior. He was calm for a while after that but still insists on talking to me like trash. Tomorrow I want to give him a letter from my husband and myself outlining the behavior I expect from him in the future. My husband is extremely angry and so am I. This is my last time telling him to stop before it gets ugly.

    What should this letter say?

    This guy is such a creep. He tells me that he can see through my pants and that I have a nice a**. Inapprpriate to the highest degree...and unacceptable to say the least! I feel sick thinking about this. Before I break his face and/or his fingers I need to do something...
    I'd find some way to record him being a pig (the Tungsten T3 PDA has a recording application...) and take it to human resources. That should work right quick.
  5. by   fergus51
    Document each incident and what management did about it. They are responsible for providing a harassment free workplace. Mention this to them and drop the word "lawsuit". Watch them scramble to make things right.

    Do not send this man any kind of letter, it will come back to bite you in the butt later. Especially with your husband involved. Trust me. Not a good idea. If you need to speak with him about his behavior, remain professional.
  6. by   P_RN
    Uhhh you're describing assault and battery as well as harrassment. Get Human Resources, and then security in on it if that doesn't work. A good expletive in a loud voice may draw attention to the situation and there are your witnesses.

    I also once had a resident doctor come up behind me and say something like I can see through your blouse. My hands "naturally" reached back and gave a good hardsqueeze to what ever nether parts they could reach. He would never be in the same room with me after that. More hands than an octopus.
  7. by   zenman
    Go to HR and tell them they better know what to do and do it quick. Remind HR of how rich you could be if they don't do something. If they don't, get a restraining order. You have a great case.
  8. by   Jailhouse RN
    Report it in every place you can........well nothing was done? Give the name and address to your lucky Hubby and let him have a piece of the action. Maybe when Hubby puts his hands on him he won't touch you again. On a more serious note, have the A**H*** brought up on harassment charges....Thats right have him arrested along with assault and battery.......and DON'T BE QUIET ABOUT IT. As a male RN I am embarrased by this person's actions. Best of luck to you and "I'm sorry" from the few true gentelmen left in this profession.
  9. by   Sgt_Chunk_Spelunker
    4-17-04


    *******,

    I want to let you know the following on behalf of myself and my husband:
    Your comments regarding my appearance are making me extremely uncomfortable and I expect this behavior to cease immediately. I am your coworker and I enjoy working with you. You perform the duties of your job in a timely and professional manner.

    In the past few months I have had to set limits with you regarding what I consider to be an invasion of my personal space. I have told you on several occasions that I consider your touching me to be completely inappropriate. There have been times when you have gone as far as to put your hands around my waist or to try to grab my hand. You know that this is inappropriate. Don't treat me any differently than you would treat a male staff member. Needless to say, I expect this never to happen again.

    I spoke to ****** a few weeks ago regarding this issue and I will be giving her a copy of this letter. I will also inform her that I believe this issue is resolved at this point. Your behavior will be the deciding factor. I have suggested to management that a sexual harrassment inservice be held at the facility. Expect to be part of this training in the near future.


    ********(the Sgt's real name & signature goes here)
  10. by   kids
    I think that given this is a work situation it is inappropriate that your husband be mentioned in the letter.
    I understand he is angered by what is happening to you at work but this is your battle to fight, via your employer, not his.
    It could also be construed as a veiled threat (that your husband will 'deal' with him)
  11. by   KMSRN
    Your husband should have nothing to do with this. I assume you are a grown up woman. And it is not a good idea to send him a letter. But document each incident - date, time, place, circumstances, what occurred. I agree with the others who posted - go to your manager and if that doesn't work go very quickly up the chain of command. It is sexual harrassment - hostile work environment. This bozo also sounds potentially dangerous. If all else fails contact a lawyer.
  12. by   Spidey's mom
    Please listen to the good advice here and DO NOT involve your husband and DO NOT send that letter.

    steph
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I agree, leave your husband out of this. This is between you, these coworkers and HR. Stand up for yourself and your rights w/o bringing him into it. It just appears to weaken your position to bring him up.
  14. by   Cherish
    Actually, what you need to do is find out HR policy on sexual harassment and your states policies on worker's sexual harassment. It is a very good idea to document the time, date and actions of what happened. Best thing to do is leave your husband out of it, inform HR or Equal Opportunity Manager, and find out the policies (EVERY place has a sexual harassment brochure). Hope that helps
    Last edit by Cherish on May 5, '04

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