Inappropriate Behavior?

  1. Hi! I am new to Allnurses so let me introduce myself. I am an LPN, mom to three perfect (ok, not really but I think so!) children. I work in Pediatrics and its such an awesome job.

    Long story short. There is an LPN at a facility that has made horrible comments about me on Facebook. The quickest backstory I can give you is she was in highschool, is my first cousin, was a minor and was sleeping with my husband when I took her in as a runaway.

    Fastforward some years later. I divorced the should-be sex offender and life went on.

    She and him are now married and they quit their jobs just over a year ago to move here and have largely interfered with the life I single handedly created for the children and I.

    She is a whole 24 now. And is in a leadership position at her job. I dont know how she has always managed those types of jobs based on her experience but she has since right out of nursing school. Good for her though!

    On top of making my children miserable she also publicly post stuff about me on facebook (inaccurate stuff that is very unflattering) and has even talked about punching someone in the face (albeit she didnt say me, but I get the idea its me).

    Due to her deciding my ex husband is paying too much in child support, I now have to work most every day of the week, with a day off about once or twice a month, until the court can get that straight. I applied with the company she now works for (I didnt know she worked there; they quit their jobs in another state and moved here and I didnt know where she worked). I am needing to leave my current job to go somewhere that can pay better. However, I recieved a response from her today offering an interview. I did feel she should have asked another person to respond as she has been asked not to email me, but whatever.

    Can I contact the board of nursing to show them all of the comments publicly made about me on facebook? Is it ok to contact her employer to let them know as well? Id love to put an end to her behavior and over the years have not been able to do much about it as legally if she doesnt touch me, theres little you can do.

    How would the BON feel about this behavior and is it unethical for me to reach out to her employer?
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  2. Visit chesanurse profile page

    About chesanurse

    Joined: Dec '17; Posts: 5; Likes: 3

    18 Comments

  3. by   Atl-Murse
    Wow so much drama. I am sure if she was asked, she would make similar accusation against you. Best to keep distance from her, stay away on social media site. Find another company to work for, those social media post can come back and bite
  4. by   chesanurse
    Actually N0 She couldnt make those accusations about me I mind my bees wax and raise my babies.
  5. by   cleback
    Sounds like you're dealing with a jerk. But unless she does something illegal or against the nurse practice act, the BON will likely not care. I'd keep your nose clean and keep out of it. Resist the urge to seek revenge.
  6. by   Meriwhen
    I wouldn't engage with her as you're just feeding the drama. Plus engaging with her could potentially give her more ammo to use to aggravate you. Limit your contact with her and your ex to only what pertains to the kids. It would be wise to keep notes regarding these interactions (see next paragraph). Otherwise, keep your distance and ignore her.

    If she is really starting to harass you, you could contact a lawyer and get a cease-and-desist letter sent to her. That's where those notes will come in handy. Doing that will create a lovely legal paper trail should her behavior escalate.

    A copy could be cc-ed to her employer, but since that's skirting the legal advice ice, I'd leave that for you to seek your attorney's guidance on.

    Best of luck.
  7. by   Sour Lemon
    I would definitely not contact the BON with this nonsense. It makes you both sound mentally unstable, and that's without even hearing her side of the story.
  8. by   Aunt Slappy
    Quote from Meriwhen
    If she is really starting to harass you, you could contact a lawyer and get a cease-and-desist letter sent to her. That's where those notes will come in handy. Doing that will create a lovely legal paper trail should her behavior escalate.
    Also, screen shot her posts, incase she deletes them, and save the images in safe places. They'll be even better than your notes. If she's posting publicly and not limited to friends, you might even have a case against her for defamation.
  9. by   amoLucia
    The BON's responsibility is to protect PATIENTS. They are not marital discord referees. I'm hoping you have a good lawyer to assist you in your situation.

    Keep your distance; do not engage her in any interactions and follow an attorney's advice. That's the attorney's job to deal with all this crazy, not the BON.
  10. by   malenurse69
    *reads first paragraph*
    *quietly exits thread*
  11. by   scuba nurse
    So wait, she would interview you? Would she be your boss? You would work together?

    OH HELL NO!!
    I cannot see one good thing about this arrangement, and would be looking to work any place she is not at.
    Do not do it, do not engage with her, run far away, block her on FB. Like others have said, not a BON issue or an employer issue, it is an ash whole issue.
  12. by   morte
    if your state's NPA has a moral turpitude clause, she may have violated that with the public lies
  13. by   SaltySarcasticSally
    Ok, first, do not work with her. That's just ridiculous.

    Do not get involved in this. Let her make her FB comments, she just feels inferior. Unless you start to feel she is actually a danger, ignore this nonsense.
  14. by   macawake
    Quote from chesanurse
    Can I contact the board of nursing to show them all of the comments publicly made about me on facebook? Is it ok to contact her employer to let them know as well?
    Quote from chesanurse
    How would the BON feel about this behavior and is it unethical for me to reach out to her employer?
    Asking whether it's ethical or not isn't the question I'd ask. To me it's a question of whether it's the smart and appropriate thing to do.

    Quote from amoLucia
    The BON's responsibility is to protect PATIENTS. They are not marital discord referees. I'm hoping you have a good lawyer to assist you in your situation.

    Keep your distance; do not engage her in any interactions and follow an attorney's advice. That's the attorney's job to deal with all this crazy, not the BON.
    I completely agree with amoLucia's post and also what Sour Lemon wrote. Frankly, the events that you've described sounds like an episode from a tabloid talk show of the more lurid variety. Personally I don't see how what's happened between you, your ex and your relative concerns patients and nursing. I don't see how you could bring this to the BoN's attention without some of the apparent dysfunctionality rubbing off on you as well. Since I don't know all the details of your story, I have no way to judge whether that's fair or not. Sadly many things in life aren't fair and even if you happen to be entirely blameless in all of this, I fear that the optics might not be 100% in your favor. I don't know this for a fact and of course I can't tell you how you should proceed. That choice is entirely yours, I'm just sharing how I perceive this.

    Quote from chesanurse
    On top of making my children miserable...
    Is the father of your children fine with his children being made miserable? Personally, that part would bother me much more than whatever his new wife is up to. The children are his flesh and blood and I would expect more from him.

    Quote from chesanurse
    ...she also publicly post stuff about me on facebook (inaccurate stuff that is very unflattering) and has even talked about punching someone in the face (albeit she didnt say me, but I get the idea its me).
    Quote from chesanurse
    Id love to put an end to her behavior and over the years have not been able to do much about it as legally if she doesnt touch me, theres little you can do.
    Do you know this for a fact? Have you consulted a lawyer or representatives of law enforcement regarding this? I definitely don't know the law of all 50 states and besides it's a moot point, since I can't and won't offer legal advice. However, I wouldn't be surprised, depending on the nature of the stuff she posts, some of it might be in violation of some legal statute or other. If it were me I would try to obtain legal advice from a suitable/reliable source regarding the options available to me.

    Quote from chesanurse
    However, I recieved a response from her today offering an interview. I did feel she should have asked another person to respond as she has been asked not to email me, but whatever.
    What do you mean by "but whatever"? Are you seriously considering scheduling an interview with your cousin/ex-husband's new wife? Do you want to work with/for her?

    I don't envy you your situation and I hope the whole thing can settle down a bit and that you and your ex can find a way to do what's in the children's best interest. Of course that would require emotional maturity as well as his willing cooperation. I don't know if that's possible for you to get. I hope it is.




    Best wishes!
    Last edit by macawake on Dec 12, '17

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