I hate my boss! I hate my boss! | allnurses

I hate my boss!

  1. 12

    It is also laughable that if you do further education past your BSN in Management or Business and throw in a MSN for good measure you are now eligible to go for middle or upper management! Doesn't really matter if you are good at it, have any people skills, or even a lot of hands on nursing care, you are now considered to be Management Material

    I hate my boss!

    Hands up, how many of you actually hate your boss? I can imagine a fair few will be nodding their head in agreement that they hate there boss.

    I search google with the words 'I hate my boss' and with that simple sentence I found 12,800,000 results.

    Change the wording to 'I hate my manager' and the results add up to 58,600,000.

    I am sure if I delve deeper I would be able to find more results, so what does this tell me? It tells me that we in the nursing profession are not alone in 'hating' our bosses, we are not the only profession who feels we employ idiots to 'run' business's

    Who do we define the term boss?

    Boss an individual that is usually the immediate supervisor of some number of employees and has certain capacities and responsibilities to make decisions. The term itself is not a formal title, and is sometimes used to refer to any higher level employee in a company, including a supervisor, manager, director, or the ceo.

    But did you know that a boss can also be defined as...

    Boss 3 (bs) n.A cow or calf. [perhaps ultimately from latin bs; see bovine.]

    There are books on...
    • How to manage your boss
    • How to kill your boss
    • Get back at your boss

    There are over 10,000,000 I hate my boss jokes!

    Bosses are also being blamed on causing marital problems too!

    That bad marriage – it could be the fault of your abusive boss

    So there is lots of information on hating your boss. Does this make me feel better? No!

    It is also laughable that if you do further education past your bsn in management or business and throw in a msn for good measure you are now eligible to go for middle or upper management! Doesn't really matter if you are good at it, have any people skills, or even a lot of hands on nursing care, you are now considered to be management material.

    I have nothing against further education but some of the strangest people have msn, I do not think that having a masters in anything means you have common sense.
    Most people who go onto obtain further education have access to money! We know it is not cheap to get further education.

    You have to have good credit scores and have to be dedicated to working extremely hard in your studies and normally at the cost of other parts of your life.

    My boss has every known degree known to mankind yet I still question her decisions, I feel her hands on experience is minimum and I wonder if she ever worked as a frustrated staff nurse.

    I think doing time spent as a frustrated staff nurse makes you understand the problems and issues that everybody experiences first hand on a busy floor.

    This in turn helps you have a human approach to management, that is what I believe is missing these days. You have to know how to turn things around in a crisis. You have to have very good understand how your specialty works. How to troubleshoot.

    You cannot tell by watching staff how busy they are! Most rn's aren't running around like headless chickens, they are calm, confident and have excellent time management skills, so they make it look easy!

    That doesn't mean to say they are having an easy day, eventually after a certain amount of experience on the floor you grow to realize running around like a headless chicken serves no purpose. You use up energy and brain power you actually need to be effective.

    A lot of management staff in health care have stood still for very little time before they have climbed the ladder very quickly.

    I am sure if you ask your bosses how long they worked as an basic rn on a unit, they will barely have 5 years or less!

    Most of them have planned their career very carefully and always seem to find themselves in the right place at the right time.

    These days I have seen advertisements for charge nurse positions with only a minimum of 1 year post grad experience under their belt. This concerns me because 1 yr is barely enough time to get your feet wet let alone have the experience and know how of managing staff and the unit.

    When I was a newby staff nurse I could turn to my charge nurses and managers and they knew everything. It always amazed me.

    I bet in some cases this is not true anymore.

    I still hate my boss and I have to learn how to channel this emotion towards something more positive as the negativity is 'killing' me.

    I have got to the stage that I worry about every single interaction between us, I suspect she is 'out to get me', I imagine she has a different agenda to me and if I don't agree she 'is out to get me'.

    I have become paranoid and this emotion bothers me! I ask myself why do I really think she is out to get me?

    It is a personality clash? Or is it simply 'i dont like being told'

    Remember, it takes two to tango.
    Last edit by Joe V on Jan 8, '15
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    arbor-vitae, JeneraterRN, Jessy_RN, and 9 others like this.

  2. Visit madwife2002 profile page

    About madwife2002, BSN, RN Guide

    madwife2002 has '26' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'RN, BSN, CHDN'. From 'Ohio'; Joined Jan '05; Posts: 10,271; Likes: 6,057.

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    45 Comments so far...

  3. Visit  betterlatethennever profile page
    4
    Amen! I love your post. I have yet to experience working with a manager that truely cares and has pride in their floor. Either they don't care at all or they don't understand what is truely happening on the floor. If only they heard our suggestions and not viewed them as complaints.
    MissPiggy, MLMRN1120, Poi Dog, and 1 other like this.
  4. Visit  VivaLasViejas profile page
    9
    I'm lucky to have a good manager. It's taken fifteen years, but I've finally landed in a good place with an administrator who cares about more than the bottom line and "doesn't believe in treating people like (brown word)".

    Ironically enough, I'm currently being encouraged by my company's VP of Clinical Operations to consider becoming the Regional Director, a job that could conceivably pay somewhere in the neighborhood of six figures. Naturally, I assumed that my lack of a BSN or MSN would disqualify me, even though I hold a very responsible and decent-paying job as a DON in one of its facilities, so I e-mailed her back this morning to let her know straight up that I have "only" an associate's degree in nursing. Her words to me were: "I don't care if you have a degree in basket weaving, as long as you're a good nurse."

    Besides, she went on to add, in her experience a lot of the BSNs and MSNs she'd worked with were all foam and no beer---IOW, they talked a lot but didn't accomplish much. So, not ALL high-level managers are education snobs, and not all ADNs or diploma nurses are destined to slave away on a unit for their entire careers. There are no rules that can't be broken.
    Last edit by VivaLasViejas on Nov 29, '11
    Jessy_RN, Blanca R, KelRN215, and 6 others like this.
  5. Visit  LTCangel profile page
    7
    Just lost my job of 14 years on the same Unit in a Hospital d/t this type of Manager. for many years our unit was run by 2 experienced RN's who had worked that same floor as floor Nurses before continuing their education and moving up to Management and they were wonderful! As mentioned above, there was nothing they didn't know or couldn't relate to. They always tried to help us figure out solutions to all the extra work that Upper Management would sling at us and there was always plenty of praise and respect to go along with the times when we had to have "those Unit meetings." The hospital removed them from us so they could help build a new computer system, promising to give them back...didn't happen. The next Manager was younger but still had experience and was cool to work for. She was an Army Nurse at some point but she ran a tight ship and was fair minded. She got called to Active Duty and got a job she loves ...so that was the end of that! Next came a woman who had the degree, had the connections in the hospital politically, and had been working in Management for many years as ADON of the hospital but never as a Unit manager in which she had to manage individual people and schedules and all the things that go along with making sure your staff are not only giving quaility care, doing a good job, but are also happy doing their job. Her background as a staff nurse had been 2yrs on PICU. My unit was a busy Orthopedics/Joint Replacement/Med-surg Unit. You couldn't ask her a question because she would give you a blank stare and say, "I'll have to ask." We were constantly getting threatening e-mails that had come down from those above her to work faster, harder, get out on time, no overtime, no clocking in even one minute late, etc. etc. Staff meetings became blame games. I was considered one of the Senior "Expert" orthopedic nurses. I have become ill with fibromyalgia and had been advised by my previous Manager to file for FMLA to cover myself if I need to call in when ill. When this new Manager took over, I was in her sights so to speak. It was as if she was stalking every move I made. Then the write ups started for being one minute tardy, abscences (even if covered by FMLA), you name it. Every one knows that if "they" want to fire you they will find a way. Well I told my coworkers, She is going to fire me before it's over. So I started really watching myself, trying not to be late, or call in no matter how bad I felt. One evening as I was getting report, I was pulled from my unit by another ADON and said I was needed upstairs. She was waiting for me...with my last paycheck. My last tardy had been due to a sping thunderstorm that had slowed down traffic and caused me to be 5 minutes late. I had called to say I would be late and instead of clocking in had wrote in the sign in book and had the Charge Nurse sign it with me as to what time I arrived. The end of the quarter was only 3 days away. Then the count would have started all over. Too late. I was gone, they even fought me and denied my unemployment. I had to face her again when I challenged it. I am still trying to get over the indignity I suffered. The complete lack of compassion and respect not just from her but the Hospital in general. I am sure if I hadn't had FMLA, I would not have been on the radar. I found out after I was terminated, that it was happening to a lot of nurses who had FMLA, esp. for vague illnesses that were hard to prove. I am now working in a Nursing Home again. Every hospital in the area I have applied to has never called me back because I'm sure I'm considered a no rehire. I am still trying to regain my self esteem. The total lack of powerlessness I felt. That place was like a "family" to me. I had worked with the same people for many years, and I still miss them. I took a huge paycut because I had my salary built up there to the point that no one in the area could ever match it. Could be another reason to get rid of me...the bottom line. I am a good nurse. My file always had excellent reviews, no pt complaints, no personality problems, I was always told that I was an excellent charge nurse and an excellent team member. It was only in the last year when I became ill that I had any problems. I am trying to be thankful for what I do have. I have spent months now in severe depression, anger, hurt, loneliness. Slave away, yes I did for many years to the detriment of my health. I also have the back of a 60 y/o and I am 42. Still trying to figure out where I fit into this world of Nursing...not sure. Sorry so long, your article opened a large sore spot that still hasn't healed. Thanks for listening.
    Ayvah, Jc1982, Blanca R, and 4 others like this.
  6. Visit  VickyRN profile page
    2
    At my College of Nursing, I am very blessed to have outstanding and caring faculty who are our Chairs and Deans. These women are wonderful leaders whom I desire to emulate.

    In terms of hating your boss, Madwife, you don't need me to remind you how toxic carrying this attitude is to you - to your health, to your emotional well-being, to your mind, to your spirit, to your other relationships. Your boss won't be hurt by your attitude of hatred, but you most certainly will pay the price. The negativity is also certain to spill over into other areas of your life. Is this unhappy work situation even worth it?
    BelleMorteRN and MaryAnn_RN like this.
  7. Visit  VickyRN profile page
    1
    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    Ironically enough, I'm currently being encouraged by my company's VP of Clinical Operations to consider becoming the Regional Director, a job that could conceivably pay somewhere in the neighborhood of six figures. Naturally, I assumed that my lack of a BSN or MSN would disqualify me, even though I hold a very responsible and decent-paying job as a DON in one of its facilities, so I e-mailed her back this morning to let her know straight up that I have "only" an associate's degree in nursing. Her words to me were: "I don't care if you have a degree in basket weaving, as long as you're a good nurse."
    Congratulations!!!!!!
    Poi Dog likes this.
  8. Visit  madwife2002 profile page
    4
    Quote from VickyRN
    At my College of Nursing, I am very blessed to have outstanding and caring faculty who are our Chairs and Deans. These women are wonderful leaders whom I desire to emulate.

    In terms of hating your boss, Madwife, you don't need me to remind you how toxic carrying this attitude is to you - to your health, to your emotional well-being, to your mind, to your spirit, to your other relationships. Your boss won't be hurt by your attitude of hatred, but you most certainly will pay the price. The negativity is also certain to spill over into other areas of your life. Is this unhappy work situation even worth it?
    True but sometimes emotions take control of us and we have to step back and review!
    Sometimes we are simple not ready to recognize that it has become a problem
    Sometimes it is good therapy to blog lol

    I actually dont hate my boss to be truthful but I do dislike her-I enjoy blog titles which elicit readers and entertaining replies

    I have already taken action to 'improve' my working relationship with my boss, as I am very proactive and protective of my career.
    kcmylorn, Blanca R, Poi Dog, and 1 other like this.
  9. Visit  madwife2002 profile page
    2
    Quote from LTCangel
    Just lost my job of 14 years on the same Unit in a Hospital d/t this type of Manager. for many years our unit was run by 2 experienced RN's who had worked that same floor as floor Nurses before continuing their education and moving up to Management and they were wonderful! As mentioned above, there was nothing they didn't know or couldn't relate to. They always tried to help us figure out solutions to all the extra work that Upper Management would sling at us and there was always plenty of praise and respect to go along with the times when we had to have "those Unit meetings." The hospital removed them from us so they could help build a new computer system, promising to give them back...didn't happen. The next Manager was younger but still had experience and was cool to work for. She was an Army Nurse at some point but she ran a tight ship and was fair minded. She got called to Active Duty and got a job she loves ...so that was the end of that! Next came a woman who had the degree, had the connections in the hospital politically, and had been working in Management for many years as ADON of the hospital but never as a Unit manager in which she had to manage individual people and schedules and all the things that go along with making sure your staff are not only giving quaility care, doing a good job, but are also happy doing their job. Her background as a staff nurse had been 2yrs on PICU. My unit was a busy Orthopedics/Joint Replacement/Med-surg Unit. You couldn't ask her a question because she would give you a blank stare and say, "I'll have to ask." We were constantly getting threatening e-mails that had come down from those above her to work faster, harder, get out on time, no overtime, no clocking in even one minute late, etc. etc. Staff meetings became blame games. I was considered one of the Senior "Expert" orthopedic nurses. I have become ill with fibromyalgia and had been advised by my previous Manager to file for FMLA to cover myself if I need to call in when ill. When this new Manager took over, I was in her sights so to speak. It was as if she was stalking every move I made. Then the write ups started for being one minute tardy, abscences (even if covered by FMLA), you name it. Every one knows that if "they" want to fire you they will find a way. Well I told my coworkers, She is going to fire me before it's over. So I started really watching myself, trying not to be late, or call in no matter how bad I felt. One evening as I was getting report, I was pulled from my unit by another ADON and said I was needed upstairs. She was waiting for me...with my last paycheck. My last tardy had been due to a sping thunderstorm that had slowed down traffic and caused me to be 5 minutes late. I had called to say I would be late and instead of clocking in had wrote in the sign in book and had the Charge Nurse sign it with me as to what time I arrived. The end of the quarter was only 3 days away. Then the count would have started all over. Too late. I was gone, they even fought me and denied my unemployment. I had to face her again when I challenged it. I am still trying to get over the indignity I suffered. The complete lack of compassion and respect not just from her but the Hospital in general. I am sure if I hadn't had FMLA, I would not have been on the radar. I found out after I was terminated, that it was happening to a lot of nurses who had FMLA, esp. for vague illnesses that were hard to prove. I am now working in a Nursing Home again. Every hospital in the area I have applied to has never called me back because I'm sure I'm considered a no rehire. I am still trying to regain my self esteem. The total lack of powerlessness I felt. That place was like a "family" to me. I had worked with the same people for many years, and I still miss them. I took a huge paycut because I had my salary built up there to the point that no one in the area could ever match it. Could be another reason to get rid of me...the bottom line. I am a good nurse. My file always had excellent reviews, no pt complaints, no personality problems, I was always told that I was an excellent charge nurse and an excellent team member. It was only in the last year when I became ill that I had any problems. I am trying to be thankful for what I do have. I have spent months now in severe depression, anger, hurt, loneliness. Slave away, yes I did for many years to the detriment of my health. I also have the back of a 60 y/o and I am 42. Still trying to figure out where I fit into this world of Nursing...not sure. Sorry so long, your article opened a large sore spot that still hasn't healed. Thanks for listening.
    I am so sorry this has happened to you and it makes my blood boil!
    Why do long standing employees get treated this way?
    14 years is a long time to be in a job and then just get thrown away like trash, I though nowadays we educated, supported and developed staff, this is just horrible, no wonder you have those awful feelings

    Have you had some therapy?
    kcmylorn and BelleMorteRN like this.
  10. Visit  CampNurse1 profile page
    2
    I have only an RN for four years but I know the following from experience in the healthcare, and other, industry:

    First, have a heart-to-heart with your manager. Be a good evidence-based nurse, and list your concerns and give examples. You will quickly find if this helps or not.

    If you do not like your boss, and your boss does not like you, start looking for a new job today! The boss will always win, and you will be fired. It usually takes 6-12 months for the boss to get enough bullets in her gun to fire you, but it is bound to happen. I have seen this over and over.

    As a manager, I do not want anyone on my team who does not get along with me. It just adds too much weight to an already busy day. I fired a nurse last summer because she detested me, but could never explain why. She did not keep it a secret from her colleagues, or from me. Eventually, I decided, "Who needs it?"

    Getting a new job is not easy, but better to do this than get fired.

    Managers are human, just the same as staff. When our comfort zone is threatened, we will 'fix' it, just the same as anyone else would. Good luck!
    madwife2002 and VickyRN like this.
  11. Visit  alfa-sierra profile page
    11
    Managers of this caliber may have a place in a Smithsonian museum but not in my organization. A good manager has to be a secure person to begin with, and understand that People are the most valuable assets in any organization. It is the function of a good manager to maximize their staff potential, identify barriers to performance and drive them to excel with intelligence, skill and patience. To fire an employee just because the manager's level of comfort was threatened is a disservice to the organization. It reflects a level of arrogance that will only spread fear, demotivation, resentment and a bad reputation for the company eventually steering away new talent. It reflects badly in the company's culture. Definitely a liability to the balance sheet, as I see it.
    kcmylorn, hecallsmeDuchess, Jc1982, and 8 others like this.
  12. Visit  fantasyworld profile page
    3
    LTCangel

    I read your post and I had to join so I could reply. You don't know how much I HEAR and UNDERSTAND you. I have fibromyalgia as well and things have been not wonderful for me either. I have an ADON that I believe is out to get me as well. It seems like she is out to rock the boat for her own job security.... or she is totally incompetent and clueless. I used to love going to work as we felt like a big family but lately it's been an unbearable place to be. For the longest time you couldn't get a job there until someone retired or died but lately there is a revolving door as far as staff goes. No one looks at the managers to see what's going on even though people have come forward and complained. If you're not one of the sheep that function while being micromanaged and have an independent thought, then you're going to be on the watch list. We are told to do more faster and then get chewed out when omissions are found or mistakes are made. When health care became a business, $ became the bottom line. I find incompetence is rewarded and the good nurses are forced to do more as a matter of dealing with their morals and values. We have the same issues.... work harder, faster, no overtime, no mistakes, etc. And when I had my fibro flare and had difficulty, there was no compassion from administration. I never called off, worked when called in for xtra shifts, etc and was it appreciated. NO!! I was looked down upon because I had to take time off to deal with my flare. (I had enough sick time to cover being off for a month and was still harrassed about when I was returning).
    I read an article about "Compassion Fatigue" that hit home with me. You might find it interesting. (When Caring Stops, Staffing doesn't Matter). It kind of put my feelings into words about how I'm feeling.
    I will occasionally help my self esteem by reminding myself that this manager probably knows she's not respected by the staff and needs to show her "power" by picking on whomever she's feeling threatened by...even if it's just in her head. I'm well into my 50's and there's not many options for me either. I yearn for the days when nurses could be nurses.
    kcmylorn, Blanca R, and madwife2002 like this.
  13. Visit  Conqueror+ profile page
    1
    Hate is such a STRONG word. Not inaccurate just strong.
    madwife2002 likes this.
  14. Visit  madwife2002 profile page
    1
    Quote from Conqueror+
    Hate is such a STRONG word. Not inaccurate just strong.

    It gets attention though LOL
    Conqueror+ likes this.

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