How to shut up people who gossip !!!!!! - page 2

A very wise person swears that printing out the following and posting it around the workplace will drastically cut down gossiping and backbiting, or at least tick them off: Great people talk about... Read More

  1. Visit  mercyteapot profile page
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    LOL... if someone posted that at work, it'd get torn down and thrown away. Just as gossip drives some people crazy, so does what comes off as the superior attitude of others who see fit to post notes all over the place. Although gossip has never been the topic of these note posters where I work, I routinely take down notes and throw them away. This is a place of business and they look unprofessional and tell our visitors far more about us than we want them to know.
  2. Visit  Sonn profile page
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    To shut up gossip hags it is helpful to know the 4 different types of gossip.
    1. :smilecoffeecup: News sharing gossip: Function: Used to convey information, often about the work or private lives of co-workers or joint acquaintances. Used as a form of entertainment. Consequences: Positive: It is a form of entertainment. Helps to develop common interests and form common bonds. Promotes collegiality. Negative: None
    2. Judgemental gossip: Function: Used to criticise the behaviours, beliefs, or value systems of co-workers or other joint acquaintances. Often used for social comparisons that favor the gossiper and are motivated by need of self-aggrandizement. May also be used for self-appraisal Consequences: Positive: Helps to reinforce the norms of the work setting. Punishes deviant behaviours. Helps in the socialisation of new members of the team. Negative: is painful and possibly harmful to the person being gossiped about
    3. :angryfire Cathartic gossip: Function: Used to validate feelings. Used to relieve stress, anxiety or anger. Used infrequently to share positive emotions Consequences: Positive: Diffuses anger and thereby promotes more harmonious relationships. Provides a sense of support to the person who is feeling angry, anxious or stressed Negative: Disseminates and perpetuates bad feelings
    4. :deadhorse Malicious Gossip: Function: Used deliberately to damage the personal or professional reputation of a colleague(s). This damage to colleague is often used for political gains, self-aggrandizement, or revenge, or to express hatred. Consequences: Positve: None. Negative: Is harmful, is destructive and painful to the target of the gossip. Creates divisiveness. Destroys loyalties
    (Blakeley, Ribeiro, Hughes)
  3. Visit  blueyesue profile page
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    Quote from mercyteapot
    LOL... if someone posted that at work, it'd get torn down and thrown away. Just as gossip drives some people crazy, so does what comes off as the superior attitude of others who see fit to post notes all over the place. Although gossip has never been the topic of these note posters where I work, I routinely take down notes and throw them away. This is a place of business and they look unprofessional and tell our visitors far more about us than we want them to know.

    I think it is a good thing to have positive reinforcement at work. We all could benefit from reminders. If someone views the posting of a positive message as a bad thing, and rips it down, they are the ones who have the problem and may be the reason for the reminders in the first place.

  4. Visit  natrgrrl profile page
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    So how can I tell the difference between gossip and conversation?
  5. Visit  all4schwa profile page
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    Quote from natrgrrl
    So how can I tell the difference between gossip and conversation?
    fine line, indeed.
  6. Visit  blueyesue profile page
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    Quote from natrgrrl
    So how can I tell the difference between gossip and conversation?
    Good question. How I personally define that line is this:

    If I would feel comfortable saying what I was saying about the person in front of them, then I have not crossed the line into gossip.

    If I would never say what I said in front of the person I was talking about then I am gossiping or backstabbing.

    Please don't get me wrong, I have been guilty of gossip many a time. I just know when I am doing it by those parameters
  7. Visit  banditrn profile page
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    Quote from Selke
    This is a great quote that I'll put in my quote file. Thank you for sharing this.

    <snarkiness alert!>

    Has anybody ever had a manager or charge nurse who is really like this (like this quote)? (I haven't.) Are any of you all like this personally, and this is why you will never be promoted to nursing leadership?
    For the first twelve years of my nursing career I had two nurse managers that I would consider truly wonderful!! I learned so much from them, not just in nursing skills, but in how to treat other people.

    The one I spent the longest with, in the ICU was a terrific people manager - and she gave us all a great amount of self esteem. She taught us how to deal with doctors and families without letting them run all over us. She taught us about true teamwork. Nurses felt honored indeed to get a place in her unit, and it was a sad day when she left.

    Unfortunately, I've measured managers since by her example, and most of them have come up wanting.

    BTW - as far as gossip goes, I find that it's best to change the subject or even walk away.
    Last edit by banditrn on Jan 4, '07
  8. Visit  mercyteapot profile page
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    Quote from EJM
    I think it is a good thing to have positive reinforcement at work. We all could benefit from reminders. If someone views the posting of a positive message as a bad thing, and rips it down, they are the ones who have the problem and may be the reason for the reminders in the first place.

    Reminders can be verbal or email without cluttering up what is supposed to be a professional setting and airing dirty laundry in front of patients/clients.
  9. Visit  Marie_LPN, RN profile page
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    Quote from GardenDove
    So, you think calling people 'hags' is mature and lofty?
    Kinda wondered that myself. Made me think of the saying i've repeated a lot: Be the change you want to see (Ghandi).
  10. Visit  mercyteapot profile page
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    Quote from Marie_LPN
    Kinda wondered that myself. Made me think of the saying i've repeated a lot: Be the change you want to see (Ghandi).
    You're much loftier than me, Marie. All I could think of to compare it with is those people who make more noise saying ''shhhhh'' when it's time to be quiet than the people who are talking.
  11. Visit  Tweety profile page
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    Quote from PeachPie
    After posting, I did try to change the title, but it only let me change the subject in the initial post.
    I'll ask an administrator to change the title of the thread, so your original point won't be lost, which was to highlight the quote.
  12. Visit  mercyteapot profile page
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    Quote from PeachPie
    After posting, I did try to change the title, but it only let me change the subject in the initial post.

    You've never heard of a gossip hag? Trying to nitpick?

    Hmmm...
    Great people see the goal/main idea and strive toward it.
    Small people nitpick, whine, and otherwise trip up progress.
    So we're right back to where we were originally. You think calling people small, nitpickers, and whiners is lofty and mature? What was the point of changing the title if you were going to respond like this?
  13. Visit  GardenDove profile page
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    Quote from mercyteapot
    So we're right back to where we were originally. You think calling people small, nitpickers, and whiners is lofty and mature? What was the point of changing the title if you were going to respond like this?
    Was Peach Pie accusing me of being a whiney nitpicker?

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