How do nurses last?

Nurses General Nursing

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A nurse who has become a close friend of mine in my chemistry class is taking a few classes over to start her NP degree. She has really poor time management in which I have told her on occasion because she doesn't study for lecture at all and has already missed a few class because of her full time job as a an RN. She works the night shift and is always tired when she gets to class in the morning.

She always seems constantly stressed out and tells me all these horror stories that a nurse has to go through when dealing with patients in the ER (such as having constant codes and rape victims) and how she is treated by management and needs more pay. This basically scares me because I'm only 19 and she's about 25 years older than me but yet I see myself in her as a future nurse and hating my career. I just got accepted into nursing school but now I'm doubting that this career is not all that it seems and I'm going to be fairly disappointed as a nurse and wanting to get out of it like she's trying to.

So basically my question is: how do the nurses with more than 2+ years of experience last in this profession with the constant stress that is put on them, and how do you manage your social life and time when your working night shifts?

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

102 Articles; 27,612 Posts

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Your friend works in an emergency department. There are nursing jobs outside the almighty, exalted acute care hospital that the public seems to forget about.

Nursing positions in clinics, occupational health, public health, research, case management, group homes, adult daycare, schools, and other areas offer awesome work/life balance, low stress, and the chance for a full social life.

I have been a nurse for 11 years. I am not stressed. I view my non-hospital job as a means to an end and nothing more.

Phil-on-a-bike

57 Posts

Hi Kari;

I'm on night duty right now. (Reading the forum on my break, naturally!)

When I get off-duty, I'm going home to bed. And because I'm back on-shift tonight, I'll be getting a full day's sleep. That's how I do it.

I wouldn't dream of staying up all day studying, any more than I'd consider staying up all day partying. While I've got every sympathy for your friend, common sense should tell her that you can't burn the candle at both ends!

(And speaking as a nurse: IF she's doing the same thing in reverse - that is to say, working a shift after studying all day - that's well out of order. It's professionally irresponsible to undertake clinical practice while knowingly in a sleep-deprived condition.)

But you've identified it as poor time management, which shows good judgement on your part. We learn from all examples, not just good examples.

You're talking about seeing yourself in 25 years time, disenchanted with nursing.

Reality check: If you get 25 years of steady, paid employment out of the profession, then you'll have no cause for complaint! Your time spent studying will certainly not have been wasted.

("How did the nursing thing work out?" "Aah, turns out it wasn't for me. I only stuck with it for A QUARTER OF A CENTURY.")

When I started nurse training, British nursing students were paid employees of the hospital, and the prospect of three years of steady work was as far as my long-term planning went!

Come September, I'll have been a nurse for 28 years.

I started out in Accident and Emergency, and I now work cushy monday-friday office hours in Haematology Research.

(Right now, I'm doing extra duty on Acute Medical as part of our hospital's Winter Pressures initiative, but I volunteered for that, so I've only got myself to blame!)

How've I lasted?

In a nutshell - it's not "constant pressure". And even at the high-pressure times, there are enough new challenges and learning experiences to keep things fresh and stop it from becoming a grind.

And social life? YOU determine your social schedule!

If you're working the weekend, you'll do your social activities on weekdays. Your social life isn't something that carries on by itself when you're not there!

Your social life is what you make it - that holds true for round-the-clock shift workers and 9-to-5ers alike.

Hope that helps!

Libby1987

3,726 Posts

Your friend lacks some life skills, that may have as big an impact as the nursing profession itself.

I've had a rich life overall, have lacked for nothing (other than European vacations whenever I feel like it) and I remain happy and positively challenged with my work. And that has had as much to do with me as the nursing profession itself.

AJJKRN

1,224 Posts

Specializes in Medical-Surgical/Float Pool/Stepdown.

In all honesty KariT, this nurse you're talking about isn't leaving nursing but trying to advance their career educationally (even if they're not going about it in the smartest way). NP's are still nurses. Maybe this nurse has just met their limit and is looking for a change. Maybe this was their study habits years ago, or always for that matter, and they're just not a type A and procrastinate. Nurse just like all people, come in different packages. :wacky:

FWIW, their horror stories could one day be your dream job. It's all about perspective and finding one's niche. What's that saying about if you do what you love, then you will never work a day in your life...I may not love every shift but I do love my work and am proud to be a nurse. :nurse:

Neats, BSN

682 Posts

Specializes in Case Manager/Administrator.

I have been in the medical field for over 40 years, a nurse for 20 years. I love the medical field and have reinvented myself several times. Why? Because I get easily bored. I do not think I could be a floor Med/Surg Nurse...longer than say a year. Not that it is bad I think it is one of the hard "specialty" focus you can pick. I am not afraid of hard work either. I think it comes down to know yourself. What are your goals, aspirations, what makes you excited, what drains you every time, what makes you smile and want to continue, what do you avoid. Over the years a person changes too. I currently am in school and work at an insurance company as a utilization pharmacy manager. I enjoy the challenges, I enjoy that I work for a non-profit insurance company and have really been forced (to remain competent) with the every changing Affordable Care Act. I miss direct patient care and will go back once I have completed my terminal degree.

I like many others am proud to be a nurse and want my profession to have high standards.

RNperdiem, RN

4,592 Posts

Good self care and strong boundaries are my secrets of success.

Boundaries mean being able to say no. Say no to extra work unless you want to work. Never feel guilty about that either. Leave a workplace if you are badly treated; there are better places and your job will be filled quickly by someone else.

Boundaries mean knowing that your problems are your problems and other people's problems are their problems. Human parasites can drain your soul and come back asking for more. Don't get pulled into the gossip and drama at work, and build yourself a supportive network of family and friends outside of work.

Specializes in Emergency.

I use and enjoy my PTO...

LovingLife123

1,592 Posts

Trauma is stressful, no doubt about it. That may not be for you. Night shift is stressful in and of itself. It takes a bit to get used to and many never get used to it. I miss my family and being on normal time so much. NP school may be how your friend sees her way out of the stress.

You may think her time management sucks but you don't walk in her shoes. You don't work nights nor do you have her job. Save your judgement for after you have walked in her shoes.

SmilingBluEyes

20,964 Posts

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I have lasted 20 years and counting. HOW? Well I picked and chose my path. I was hospital-based for 14 years when the wear and tear of floor nursing was overtaking my life and stealing my joy. My performance and attitude tanked.

So, I changed specialties and setting, working in an outpatient clinic, regular 9-10 hour days, 4 days a week. I go in, do my job, finish on time, go home and leave it there. It's been a great nearly 6 year gig so far and the stress is still there, but it's not as harsh for me.

You have to be a planner. Think where you want to be in 10, 20 or more years and work toward your goals. Many do well in acute care hospital settings for decades. I was not one. I was getting increasingly tired after 13 hours on the job, with little time to eat or even pee. Being on call on days off did not improve my disposition and attitude either. I knew I was wearing out----and burning out. I developed migraines nearly everyday. I was always tired, and had body aches that lasted for 2 days or more.

When I worked nights, toward the end, I was tired all the time, and found myself feeling isolated as all my family and friends were on a dayshift schedule. I found myself having to plan everything around trying to get decent amount of sleep between shifts. Most people don't respect night shift lifestyles and even think day sleeping is "lazy" and don't comprehend the need for sleep during the day. The everyday noise around me made it hard to sleep days also. People don't stop mowing their lawns, having outdoor parties during the day (where no one cares how much noise they make); your kids' soccer games are always at a time when you need to sleep, so you go, giving up precious sleep time to be there for them. The phone never stopped ringing (nor did the doorbell) so I had to turn off my phone and screen calls. I had to disconnect my doorbell. I had to take medications just to sleep during the day that had nasty side effects.. ....all of that wore on me, too. Working days was much better, but still the shifts were long and I was tired working acute care, after about 12 years or so.

Many nurses go the advanced practice path, thinking that it will be easier not being a bedside nurse. But it's not. The hours are long and it can be super stressful in its own way. The responsibility and liability are huge. Not for me.

So, currently, I find myself enjoying my outpatient job; yes, it is for less money, but the reduction in wear and tear on my body and psyche----so worth it. I go in, knowing basically how my day will go; I know my patients and I am never on call. When I am done, I am done.

That's what worked for me so far. The migraines are fewer, I go and actually work out at the gym after work, having plenty of energy to do so and I feel overall so much better. I hope to be retired in about 9 years. I can see myself going further than that, on a PRN basis only. I am far from burned out or tired. I love my current job! Anyhow sorry for the long post, but this tells you my journey so far and how I have "lasted" this long.

canoehead, BSN, RN

6,890 Posts

Specializes in ER.

I've been in nursing since '87, and survival means boundaries. The patients' problems are not my problems. I can do everything I can to make things easier without feeling their pain (usually). I don't answer my landline, and I only give work that number. I check messages and get back to them. On the other end, when I'm at work, I don't do personal contact. They are two different worlds for me, no calls, no texts, frankly, I don't even enjoy personal chats at work, but I'm extreme, most people don't mind. It interrupts my concentration on patient's needs.

Specializes in Family Practice, Med-Surg.

I have been in nursing 41 years. Started out with a BSN, got my Master's 20 years ago. How did I last? You can say a lot about nursing, but it is always changing, if you are doing it right you are always learning something, if you ever reach the point you've seen everything you discover you haven't, and it is never, ever boring.

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