Having issues with being a "babyfaced" nurse.

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi there,

Im having professional issues with looking young, i have the big eyes, high eyebrows, chubby cheeks, and weak chin. Ive been a nurse for only a yr working at a family doctor/walk in clinic environment, Im in densely populated area in a big city. I cant take it anymore. Im not being treated well, I know some of you will point the finger at me as if its something im doing but i promise i work hard and meticiously and i put patients first. Im not getting any respect as time goes on and patients are constantly testing me and making comments about my age and appearance, i have learned to brush it off and carry myself with confidence (even subconsiously speak with a deeper voice). I thought i would get a better and it is in some ways, theres always been patients ive connected with instantly and even the ones just looking to get in and out its a pleasent enough experience however the bad apples are ruining my personality and there are more bad apples than people think, i dont know if i can do this anymore, today i had a patient sit down on the chair before doing blood work and start bullying me about my age before i even had a chance to interact with her or say much to her, i got mad, im human, i couldnt proceed with the blood work causes i was shaking (d/t not being able to express my anger and taking a lot of ****, i just had a strong emotional reaction finally) asked her to come back another day, she scuffed and said "and your gonna work with people?" i looked at her and she seemed to take such pleasure in what she was doing. I cried in the bathroom after, thats a first for me. A person can only take so much. I feel like society is gettin worse and worse with its rudeness. Im already fed up, i tried to express myself to a coworker but she just laughed. I think the reason i got so upset is cause a spent a yr working really hard, im stressed, we are understaffed and this woman had the audacity to try to cut me down. She was vile.

Im in my late 20s, there are a couple of girls who i think look younger than me and actually are but i never see them get this as much, i dont know what it is about me, im pretty blank and stoic, ive learned to be... So i dont know

Does anyone have advice for me? Or have been through this? Or have someone they know who have been through this and found a solution? Im considering leaving nursing, as hard as ive worked so far, my mental health and selfesteem is suffering. Where does someone with a babyface face even fit in the professional world? I know that sounds weird but im serious, i know to be tough but id rather just be my normal self and do my job without being harrassed. People f with me more than they do others, i noticed this in nursing school as well.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes, typed on my phone

Girl, first and foremost, get out of the doctors office. Patients at doctors offices are insured and are entitled. They will be the rudest patients you will ever deal with because they make appointments and feel like that gives them the right to say/do whatever they want. Second, grow some thicker skin or get out of this profession. I too get told all the time I look 16.. and my response to this is do you really think a 16 year old is old enough to be a nurse? Usually that's a respectful way of saying you realize you're an idiot right? And when someone says you are incompetent just say okay, no worries, less work for me. And be done with it. Patients have a right to refuse, it's not your problem. I too have had patients refuse me because I'm not mormon(I'm from Utah). Know how many you know what's I give? None. If a person is that ridiculous then they must not need medical care that badly. Seriously. Go work in an ER or anywhere else where people are actually sick and you will see that less people will care about your baby face. They will still make comments but you are their only option and they either get care from you or no one. Stop being quiet when people are rude, you don't have to take that. Stand up for yourself and your skills. People will continue to walk all over you if you let them. But you should never, ever refuse THEM care. If you do that, you shouldn't be in this profession.

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Sometimes people comment that I look young too. I'll say "yeah I've heard that before, and I'll take it!". Then after I place their line without a hitch I'll tell them "Good, I'm glad I didn't miss! It was my first time". Usually I tell them I'm kidding after...usually.

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Specializes in MICU/CCU, SD, home health, neo, travel.

When I first got out of nursing school I worked for a brief time in a pediatric hospital. I was 40 then and looked young for my age, but at the time I had teenagers, so I didn't have trouble handling the teenage patients, who were sometimes very angry and acting out. I had a co-worker, however, who looked abut their age although she was 23, and she had some real difficulty with them giving her grief. She frequently had to call on our charge nurse, an "old hand" who'd raised five kids and had the air of a Marine drill sergeant, to settle them down. I don't know how she eventually fared as I left there after 5 months. It wasn't the kids that drove me out of peds, it was the parents.

Later I worked with a cardiologist who we all loved. He was from India and looked like a teenager. He would sometimes go in to see a new consult and introduce himself as, "Hello, I am Dr. ____, and yes, I am old enough to be here." It always broke the ice and the patients loved him.

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...

What do I do? I suck it up when they refuse to see me. Does it irk me? You have no idea how much, but I respect their wishes. I explain what an NP is to those who question my eduction or credentials. For my age, I smile and tell them I'm older then I look and I've been doing this a long time.

Lastly, learn how to spell and basic grammar. Both were atrocious on your post. I'm also on a mobile device, doesn't mean you can be lazy or sloppy.

Just for the record, since you're ragging on somebody else about grammar, the correct form is than (a conjunction), as in "I'm older than I look," instead of then (an adverb) as in "I ate breakfast, then I went to work."

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We nurses are being confronted by deliberately

aggresive people more often than not. Tolerating their behavior in a non urgent situation is rewarding them. I would love to be able to tell people they have to leave or be respectful. However, I agree that it is important to not take on their negativity personally. It takes more than a year of exerience in nursing to know yourself and how you will practice. There are so many professional opportunities, maybe look for another employer. What doesn't kill us should make us wise.

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Specializes in ER, Trauma.

Ash, how are you doing? Been wondering. Paul.

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Specializes in Med/surg/ortho.

How long have u been nursing?? Some things u just have to let go if u want to survive as a nurse. Stop letting other people control u. People will always have something to say because they are miserable and want others to be miserable too. What's wrong with looking young? Absolutely nothing! OBVIOUSLY it would be impossible for u to be 18 and be working as a nurse lol !?? throw that at them idk. Bottom line is u need to get tougher in this line of work.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
How long have u been nursing?? Some things u just have to let go if u want to survive as a nurse. Stop letting other people control u. People will always have something to say because they are miserable and want others to be miserable too. What's wrong with looking young? Absolutely nothing! OBVIOUSLY it would be impossible for u to be 18 and be working as a nurse lol !?? throw that at them idk. Bottom line is u need to get tougher in this line of work.

I'm curious. Home much time and effort did you save by not typing "you"? Text speak is against Terms of Service and it doesn't make you look professional or intelligent.

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You need to assert some dominance over the situation. If a patient really did harass you then another nurse can take over the care of that patient. You are not obligated to provide care to someone who breaches the relationship, but really you can't let that happen over trivial means. And example would be like time this drunk person was saying to my coworker "You're too fat to get married". Her husband of ten years died just a couples days prior. She was emotionally triggered and the relationship was compromised so another nurse took over.

Though we have things we are sensitive about like our faces and bodies, we have to deal with how "we" feel about them. They should not hurt us like the statement from the drunk man to the nurse! If they do then we need to get help for that.

You are letting worthless people get into your head, anyway, think about it like that. Honestly don't you think their obsession with your appearance is pretty creepy? And pathetic. You need to learn to take charge of this, if you have to demand respect from others then that's what you have to do. You shouldn't let worthless creepy people destroy your life.

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Specializes in Med/surg/ortho.

that's so nice of you to ask! Wow. Someone's a little angry.

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I'm glad you have the time to micronitpick one letter of one word in my post.

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I'm glad you have the time to micronitpick one letter of one word in my post.

A typo here or there is no big thing.

but wen ppl write this ths n dont evn tri its sompthin else

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