Have you ever tried to leave but pressured to stay?

Vito Andolini · Mar 20, 2009

Hey, It's Me - why take offense because someone "obviously" wants to do something different? You wouldn't respect someone who came around to your way of thinking if you were to level with him or her and say why you are really sorry to them him go? Why be so angry? Why make it personal and something against you personally?

As for OP: do you let them walk over you? Do you work tons of OT or do you work a lot for free? Do you float wherever and whenever with nary a peep? Are you beloved of patients, family, and staff? Think of what your merits are that might cause your employer to value you.

Also, think of what it is you really want to do in your Nursing career. This should help you decide. Could you maybe work PRN at your present job while you try out the new one? Or go part-time at the new one?

I'd be flattered if they thought highly enough of me to beg me to stay. I'd get a raise out of it, though.

Good luck deciding. Are you Management? Usually, staff nurses need give only 2 weeks' notice but check with HR to be absolutely certain. check with the HR boss, not the clerk. Read it in black and white in the HR policy manual.

lpnflorida · Mar 20, 2009

Playing the devil's advocate. At my former job, yearly I would think about leaving. My headnurse, co-workers, along with a couple of the doctor would convince me to stay. I do not feel they were manipulative at all. They felt I was a valued employee, they felt I was very good with my patients. I was a part of the team, a part of the family we had all become. To be honest, I must have been ambivilant about leaving or I would not have stayed on.

When I finally made the decision to quit, and move cross country. Not one person could talk me out of it. Not even my family. So for me, when it is right I know it, and act on it. When I am not as clear, I stay put until I am sure.

It'sMe, RN, BBA, MBA · Mar 20, 2009

Hey, It's Me - why take offense because someone "obviously" wants to do something different? You wouldn't respect someone who came around to your way of thinking if you were to level with him or her and say why you are really sorry to them him go? Why be so angry? Why make it personal and something against you personally?
As for OP: do you let them walk over you? Do you work tons of OT or do you work a lot for free? Do you float wherever and whenever with nary a peep? Are you beloved of patients, family, and staff? Think of what your merits are that might cause your employer to value you.
Also, think of what it is you really want to do in your Nursing career. This should help you decide. Could you maybe work PRN at your present job while you try out the new one? Or go part-time at the new one?
I'd be flattered if they thought highly enough of me to beg me to stay. I'd get a raise out of it, though.
Good luck deciding. Are you Management? Usually, staff nurses need give only 2 weeks' notice but check with HR to be absolutely certain. check with the HR boss, not the clerk. Read it in black and white in the HR policy manual.

Hi Vito, thanks for asking. Employees leave for two reasons, opportunity or job dissatisfaction. Opportunity comes in many shapes and forms such as better pay, work conditions, life issues and related issues. Dissatisfaction comes from not liking their job duties, their chosen profession or their co-workers. As management, we do all we can with what we got to make our employees feel wanted and appreciated. The nurse patient ratios would be half or less and there would be a CNA at every other door waiting for something to do. Salaries would be double and benefits and bonuses would be better than any corporate job. But we have to work with what we are given. If you are a manager you know you have to do the best you can do for the staff because you are a manager of people, not FTEs. My point in the first post was if you decide to go, then go. Don't look back. Because I am not going to ask you to stay. You made your decision and I support it. If you don't think we have anything left to offer you then we simply say thanks for your service and good luck. But don't think I am going to ask you to stay. Because the other staff deserves better than that. They are here and choose to be here. And I am going to do my best to find them another team member that wants to join us. And we will welcome them with open arms.

By the way, when I was a nurse manager everyone in the hospital wanted to work on my floor. There was a waiting list of RNs that wanted to work there. A lot of them came off days on other units to rotate nights, evenings and the occasional days. Of course I had night shift that didn't rotate and folks that only worked evenings. And they loved it! But they knew that I supported them and would go to the carpet in the hospital administrator's office to protect them. I worked right beside them and for them. My biggest enemies was my own peers. They hated me because their best nurses wanted to work on my floor. But when someone left it was because they couldn't handle the stress of trying to keep it to the level of their peers. The team didn't except poor performance or slackness. They would go out of their way to support you but you had to reciprocate. The first sign of not being a team player put you on the bench.

So, that is where my attitude comes from regarding someone leaving. It seems to work since I built a $260MM company. Again, my advice is to go to the hospital and forget the place you work at now. Go and grow! Good luck!

caliotter3 · Mar 20, 2009

You say you haven't contacted the hospital. That means you still have time to change your decision. I suggest you take the time to rethink this. As for you working the night shift and your toddler. Rarely do night shift people sleep the day away. You can arrange you sleep schedule to spend some time with your child. You just have to make sure that this time is spent on the child and not on vacuuming. Good luck with whatever you decide.

BigBee48 · Mar 20, 2009

Why not try a PRN position in the Hospital, that way you'll know if you will really like working in the Hospital setting. You will learn sooo much more in the Hospital setting, but the aquity is high everywhere. LTC is such a Family type environment as well as you get attached to the residents /family .(Try it PRN, even if its one day a month or whatever you can squeeze in). There could be reasons you allow this person to talk you out of leaving.

Jo Dirt · Mar 21, 2009

Why not try a PRN position in the Hospital, that way you'll know if you will really like working in the Hospital setting. You will learn sooo much more in the Hospital setting, but the aquity is high everywhere. LTC is such a Family type environment as well as you get attached to the residents /family .(Try it PRN, even if its one day a month or whatever you can squeeze in). There could be reasons you allow this person to talk you out of leaving.

I've never had any luck finding a PRN position. Anyway, I can't keep both jobs, they are in separate states.

The CNO is understanding and told me to do what's best for me. Bob (the DON) has been trying to convince me I need to stay at the nursing home.

And the CNO said she will make sure I'm put on the day shift when I learn the ropes.

Stuff it, Bob.

loricatus · Mar 21, 2009

I was so pressured to stay at one job that on my last day (after giving the 30 day notice) I was called into the DON's office and told that I could not leave because they assumed that I was going to stay because I never argued with them when the new schedule came out. I was also told that the resignation letter I gave them was thrown out, so I could not leave without being made a DNR and therefore getting a bad reference from them till the end of time. I responded that I was still leaving as planned and not to worry about the resignation letter because I mailed a certified, receipt copy of it to HR :rotfl:

Please reconsider and tell them that your notice will still stand because after discussing things with your new employer, you feel obligated to take the new position because you gave your word; and, in hindsight, you are a bit perturbed that you were pressured to back out on your word.

What happened to you shows a total lack of respect, which would only worsen if you continued there.

dream'n, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2009

I had this happen to me once. My supervisor tried everything to get me to stay, even to the point of telling me how awful my new position would be and how much I would regret taking it! It was hard to stay firm in my decision and it was miserable and uncomfortable finishing out my time with him. But I am so glad I stayed the course. Personally I feel that if you've tried to leave twice, then there are definite reasons that you need to go. Call the hospital and ask if their offer is still good and if so, take it. Plus your current employer knows that you were/are trying to leave and that doesn't always make a good working environment.

Vito Andolini · Mar 22, 2009

Hi Vito, thanks for asking. Employees leave for two reasons, opportunity or job dissatisfaction. Opportunity comes in many shapes and forms such as better pay, work conditions, life issues and related issues. Dissatisfaction comes from not liking their job duties, their chosen profession or their co-workers. As management, we do all we can with what we got to make our employees feel wanted and appreciated. The nurse patient ratios would be half or less and there would be a CNA at every other door waiting for something to do. Salaries would be double and benefits and bonuses would be better than any corporate job. But we have to work with what we are given. If you are a manager you know you have to do the best you can do for the staff because you are a manager of people, not FTEs. My point in the first post was if you decide to go, then go. Don't look back. Because I am not going to ask you to stay. You made your decision and I support it. If you don't think we have anything left to offer you then we simply say thanks for your service and good luck. But don't think I am going to ask you to stay. Because the other staff deserves better than that. They are here and choose to be here. And I am going to do my best to find them another team member that wants to join us. And we will welcome them with open arms.
By the way, when I was a nurse manager everyone in the hospital wanted to work on my floor. There was a waiting list of RNs that wanted to work there. A lot of them came off days on other units to rotate nights, evenings and the occasional days. Of course I had night shift that didn't rotate and folks that only worked evenings. And they loved it! But they knew that I supported them and would go to the carpet in the hospital administrator's office to protect them. I worked right beside them and for them. My biggest enemies was my own peers. They hated me because their best nurses wanted to work on my floor. But when someone left it was because they couldn't handle the stress of trying to keep it to the level of their peers. The team didn't except poor performance or slackness. They would go out of their way to support you but you had to reciprocate. The first sign of not being a team player put you on the bench.
So, that is where my attitude comes from regarding someone leaving. It seems to work since I built a $260MM company. Again, my advice is to go to the hospital and forget the place you work at now. Go and grow! Good luck!

You just sound angry but I obviously don't know you and can't see your face, hear your voice, etc. I just find it surprising that you wouldn't take a little time to try to get a valued employee to reconsider. But you do sound successful so ok.

There are other reasons for leaving - health, moving away, kids, coming into money or circumstances that allow a person to work at home or cut hours or not work at all any more.

Batman24 · Mar 22, 2009

Make sure you get salary and shift in writing if you take the new job. Their idea of you learning the ropes might be two years. You need to have a contract as to when you will go onto days because without it be prepared to be working nights for a long time to come.