Have you ever tried to leave but pressured to stay?

[Jo Dirt]

The DON where I work is very soft spoken but I have a feeling he is actually a manipulator and control freak. I say this because I put in my notice and ever since he's been trying to get me to say I will stay. I must have WISHY WASHY SUCKER all over my face because he kept working on me and working on me until I buckled under the pressure and agreed to stay. This was greeted with a big handshake and "Welcome back!"

"Hey everyone, Jo is gonna stay!"

I know they have interviewed several others to replace me so I went and asked why they weren't good enough.

They're not like you. (yea, right.)

I know darn well that I would not be hard to replace. No nurse is. Did you ever work for a place that tried to put an iron grip on you because you wanted to leave for another job? Did they feed you a bunch of crap about how you were so wonderful and couldn't be replaced, and did you find out what their real motives were? I accepted a position at this hospital and now I've got to tell them my plans have changed.

This is the second hospital job I've backed out of and I doubt they would ever consider hiring me again.

I know when I'm being manipulated but I am so tired of struggling to make the decision to leave, and the DON pressuring me so didn't help make the decision any easier. Even when I expressed some regret about not taking the hospital job he asked, "But you are staying, right?"

I'm going nowhere and won't ever amount to anything...on a road to nowhere with my BSN.

[caliotter3]

After you recover from being mad at yourself, you should take some time to do some thought to find out why you take steps to leave and then back out of them. You know that this is not a good career move for you. Why did you make the move to leave in the first place? Obviously your reasons did not hold water once it came down to put up or shut up time. There really is nothing wrong with working in a nursing home with a BSN. I had a former DON who had a PhD. But you are limiting yourself and you know it. Try to get at the root of your discontent so that you don't make this misstep again. I hope you don't regret your decision in a month.

[Jo Dirt]

I'm trying to figure out why they pressure people to stay.

What are their motives?

[caliotter3]

They need a minimum number of warm bodies as employees in order to be able to stay open.

[sing_anyway]

I'm trying to figure out why they pressure people to stay.

What are their motives?

ummm, my guess: it's hard to get people to work for them/stay with them...

[ElliShay]

I'm trying to figure out why they pressure people to stay.

What are their motives?

Orienting new staff is expensive... and a bit of a gamble. Much cheaper to manipulate a"sure thing":rolleyes:

[My_brain_hurts]

I'm leaving my job for school in a few months. My coworkers are excited and happy for me, but they are "sad" I'm leaving (and I'm going to miss them a lot too!). At least where I work, we're all a pretty good team, and of course there will be somebody else to fill my place on the team, but it changes the dynamic when someone leaves. And you don't always find a replacement that is 'the same' as the one that left, which has it's good points and bad points I guess. I know if any of my coworkers left I would genuinely miss them, and I feel they are sincere when they say they will miss me.

The people in charge say they will miss me too, which I know is both 'as a coworker' and because it means they need another body for the job I'm not stupid. But I also think the reasons people ask you to stay are not always because they are being manipulative. People ask you to stay because you are good at what you do and you're liked at the job. (maybe?)

[eldragon]

What's best for you?

If you made your decision to try something else, there is no reason (except maybe a raise or new opportunity) to allow your director to pressure you to stay.

What if they had interviewed someone they felt was your perfect replacement? Would the director have begged you to stay then?

It's important to remember that you have to look out for your best interests. Corporations and management are only looking out for theirs. They want dependable bodies to show up as scheduled and to do what is expected of them and unfortunately, it has been in my experience that many employees fall short in that area. That is not your problem.

You obviously put in your notice for a reason that hasn't changed. You can now do what you want to do with your career and life, or else you can allow someone else to make those decisions for you. It's ultimately your choice but I doubt, if that DON had a better offer to work someplace else, if he'd/she'd let YOU change his/her mind about going for that opportunity.

[Jo Dirt]

I doubt, if that DON had a better offer to work someplace else, if he'd/she'd let YOU change his/her mind about going for that opportunity.

Thank you!!!

If it wasn't for my toddler who would have such a hard time with my working the night shift, I would be out of there and wouldn't let the door hit my you-know-what on the way out.

I haven't contacted the hospital yet....but it's so hard to do.

[Bella RN, BSN, MSN]

Hey JO,

You should listen to YOUR instincts!! :coollook:They(instincts) are already giving you internal signs you need to get out of there--i hear regret in the tone of your blog so that tells me you are not truly comfortable with the decision to stay. You referred to yourself as a sucker and you feel that you are treated as such.

I haven't been in your predicament per se but I have left employers because I KNEW that it was best for me...they didn't like that and try to convince me to stay, but I had complete peace about leaving. One occasion I didnt even have another job lined up like you, but I saw what was going on and was like I am outta here!!

In your tone you sound very excited about the other position you were offered and you stated you have your BSN and are going no where..Not true sweetie...Remember in life 90% mental, 10%factual. So if you feel like you are going no where--than guess what--No where will be your destination.

So show that manipulative employer that who is boss (YOU are!!) and pursue that other position. :up:Don't rule that other position out. You are more attracted to that so it may be promising for you. Worse case scenario you don't like the new job then you know that your old job will GLADLY take you back!!

[It'sMe, RN, BBA, MBA]

Hi Jo. I left my job Dec 31, 2008 because of the same feelings. I didn't have another one and have 5 mouths to feed as well as a bunch of bankers and their families. But sometimes you just know it is the right thing to do!

You should stick to your plan. Go to your new job. You have spent your political capital at your current job. They don't value you. I would never ask an employee to stay, it creates an adversarial relationship. You don't want to work for me anymore? Okay, good bye, best of luck, don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you. Cya! Bye bye. I would never respect an employee that resigned and then said, oops, I changed my mind. Go for it, you obviously want to put your degree to better use and reach for more potential. Good luck!

[Jo Dirt]

When I tried to give a 2 weeks notice and they told me I was obligated to give a 30 days notice, I wanted to tell them to notice my @$$ walking out the door.

I told them I was bored and felt stagnant, so they sweetened the pot by saying they want to train me on some office duties.

I'm not sure I would be happy with that.

He convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.