Gross Things Patients Do

[bluegeegoo2]

I have seen some pretty questionable activity by patients, but this one got me. It also got me wondering: What other disgusting things do patients do?

I had a patient with a large pannus riddled with open sores that were positive for MRSA. As I'm cleaning them she kept poking her fingers in them. "This one (squish!) popped up about 2 weeks ago, and this one (poke!) about a week ago..." Ugh. I advise her not to touch the open wounds...and move along. I apply the ordered Medihoney and turn my head to get the dry drsg, when, out of the corner of my eye I see her put her finger in her mouth and (gleefully) exclaim "It DOES taste like honey! I wonder if you could eat it?..." Urp! Ralph! I tell her that while you can TECHNICALLY eat anything you can put in your mouth, it's probably not a good idea, finish up and quickly leave. Shaking my head. People never cease to amaze (and disgust) me.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

During my first year as a nurse I admitted a female patient with a history severe mental illness to a med/surg floor. They had ordered a Foley cath to be inserted and as I was cleaning her peri area I noticed something protruding from her lady parts. I removed what appeared to be a partially eaten bologna sandwich and it had been down there for a while, the stench was horrendous. I asked the patient why she had placed it there and she told me matter of fact, "To keep it warm for later."

I about lost my lunch.

LOL, an almost literal interpretation of a "bun in the oven!" Though I'm pretty sure that's not where that phrase came from.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

I am really really sorry I read this thread LOL.

[TruvyNurse]

I've caught patients and their significant others doing the dirty deed. Not the grossest thing in world but I don't want to see it!! Lol

[NursingNapsNetflix]

"Myself, probably the grossest I've encountered (which really pales in comparison to most of the above stories, dang guys!), was a woman so frustrated with her constipation that she attempted to disimpact herself. It didn't really work, and her fingernails were so warped and brittle and jagged that cleaning them thoroughly afterwards was a nightmare."

--LibraSunCNM

I work on a Postpartum floor, with perfectly "normal" AxOx3 people and I have seen this. Most recently a patient pulled the emergency cord in the bathroom and I went running in, she's screaming get it out, get it out! Please nurse pull my poop out! It hurts!

I was speechless, all I could do was tell her to relax and breathe, no way was I going back there!

[brownbook]

This pales in comparison, but I had a patient's wife ask me if I had some safety or bandage scissors she could borrow. I actually knew her, had gone to school with her daughter. Anyway I stupidly said yes and gave her my scissors. She proceeded to cut her husband's nostril hairs, then handed them back to me. YUCK....I tossed them in the sharp container.

[NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN]

During my first year as a nurse I admitted a female patient with a history severe mental illness to a med/surg floor. They had ordered a Foley cath to be inserted and as I was cleaning her peri area I noticed something protruding from her lady parts. I removed what appeared to be a partially eaten bologna sandwich and it had been down there for a while, the stench was horrendous. I asked the patient why she had placed it there and she told me matter of fact, "To keep it warm for later."

I about lost my lunch.

Oh, this takes the cake...or in her case maybe the sandwich...yuck!

[NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN]

I've caught patients and their significant others doing the dirty deed. Not the grossest thing in world but I don't want to see it!! Lol

So have our careview cameras...the patients know about the camera...it's pretty obvious...I'd like to know how much we have to pay the monitor tech getting the eyeful...barf!

[IrishCMSRN, BSN, RN]

I had a patient that felt it was necessary to masturbate while attached to a cardiac monitor. ....His HR alarms started alerting on the nurses station screen and several nurses ran in to find the sheets flapping away!!!

[IrishCMSRN, BSN, RN]

Also had a patient who would poop and hide it in the drawers in his room....lol

[HaleyRoseRN]

Not exactly gross but surprising? ...

I work on a neuro step down unit & had a pleasantly confused elderly female patient recently. We have individual hand sanitizer bottles that we (sometimes) leave for patients on their bedside tables. She put the sanitizer in her lady parts, told me about it later, and said "Honey, I wouldn't recommend it."

I honestly can't make this stuff up.

[RNGummy40]

With psychiatric patients, their is no end to the creativity they may display during a shift. One patient added vomit to their drinks and food, then attempted to eat the creations they made. Another patient may have been watching a make up commercial, their was "BROWNIE MIX," all over her face, and they were trying to lick their fingers. There once was a patient who drank their urine, and attempted to let it age before doing so. Nothing really shocks me. If anything, I am surprised at other people when they become shocked.

[Nita Faye]

OK. My first gag in YEARS!!!