Failed Sterilization vs. Abortion Pill

NursingMamma25 · Aug 30, 2009

I had a friend who took the abortion pill. She said it was the hardest 2 days of her life. She said she felt like her body was on fire and had horrible cramping very very painful. In the end, she said she thinks it would have been easier just to have a D&C and have it done with. Makes me sad... I do wish she hadn't done it.. Just my 2cents.

Junebugfairy · Aug 30, 2009

i actually work in an abortion clinic, and i will say that the abortion pill imo is more difficult than surgical abortion. you bleed more heavily, and for longer periods of time, and it is more painful.

my clinic gives women iv/twilight sedation, and this makes the abortion painless, which i think is ideal.

i see about 4-6 women a week who had a tubal ligation, but they are *now* pregnant. they will even bring in their medical bills and records to prove that they were sterilized, just because of the stigma and judgment surrounding abortion.

nothing is 100%, and it includes sterilization. we often forget that women choosing abortion do not fit one mold, they are often wives, mother's, sister's, and our own best friends.

i had an abortion, i got pregnant with a perfectly placed iud, which is statistically as effective as a tubal ligation. i still love the iud, and i use another one to this day, but i never thought it would happen to *me*.

be there for her :)

let her know that you are her friend no matter what!

you are such a great friend for supporting her even though you may not agree!

i lost a 14 year friendship because of my choice.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Aug 30, 2009

I would also be there for this person. I don't know the individual, but, it sounds like she did all she can possibly do not to get pregnant again, and yet, after a major medical and personal decision-here she is.

I work for an OB/GYN clinic in for a city hospital that services the poor. I worked there since Feburary, but funny enough, I did not come across a patient that I needed to give the abortion pill-not because we don't provide this service, but because it just didn't cross my lap. But, I have spoken to people who did sign for tubal ligation and we counsel until we are blue in the face to make them understand the benefits and risks (including the slim chance of pregnancy). I guess if I did come across a woman with that same situation, I would do the best I can to do the same-counsel her on the benefits/side effects/risks and not make her feel wrong for deciding to abort. It is not an easy decision.

justiceforjoy · Aug 30, 2009

This is a tough situation for me to think about, because my mom had an abortion 31 years ago. She says she still thinks about it from time to time and it breaks her heart.

Then again, I wouldn't be here if she had the baby. Nor would my two sisters nor my brother.

Regardless of your friend's decision, remember that this does NOT change the person that she is. She's still the same friend you had months ago. She's making a choice, not changing her personality. She's not changing the friendship you two had, not is she changing the memories you two share together.

tencat · Aug 30, 2009

You may not agree with her decision, but support her. She already has a lot of kids, and she tried to prevent herself from having more, but it didn't happen for her. It is not a decision made lightly in most cases. I know several women who have had abortions, and none of them are proud of it.

oramar · Aug 30, 2009

I have heard that sometimes the doctor mistakes the uterine ligaments for the fallopian tubes and cuts, ties or cauterizes the wrong thing. Has anyone else heard that? By the way, I have a 30 year old niece that is expecting next month. She had unplanned pregnancy at 21 and again at 24, so she had her herself sterilized(Those preganacys resulted in two fine boys by the way). At thirty she was shocked when she learned she was pregnant. She opted not to abort and says she is not that upset about the whole thing is actually looking forward to a new baby. The only problem is that she does not trust any method of birth control now. She absolutely does not want to get pregnant after this third child and she does not know what to do. Her husband seems OK with the third child but I was looking at him and thinking "why don't you step up to the plate here fellow". I didn't say anything though.

Commanderzoom · Aug 30, 2009

This thread is making me want to send my husband out for a vasectomy. I had a tubal last summer and I hate reading about people getting pregnant after them.

I don't know what I'd do if I found myself pregnant again. I had a tubal for 2 reasons: I don't want anymore children and 2) pregnancy is not healthy for me. I'm very pro-choice but don't know if I could actually go through with an abortion.

elkpark · Aug 30, 2009

I have always heard that, occasionally, men who have had vasectomies revert to being fertile years later, also. Apparently, "Mother Nature" will find a way once in while, despite our best efforts. So it's not as simple as "the men should have vasectomies because tubal ligations aren't always successful" -- neither are the vasectomies.

Birth control methods, even the ones we think of as "foolproof" and "permanent," fail. This is just one of the reasons I think it's so important to have safe, legal abortion available as an option.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Aug 30, 2009

I have to agree with elkpark...what usually happens when people are desperate is that they will resort to unsafe means to abort and that makes things worse. If a woman has done all she can to control her reproduction to the point of sterilization and still becomes pregnant, she needs different support, I believe because of her personal religious and moral beliefs.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Aug 30, 2009

Good Lord, 6?

My mother had an abortion after my sister was born. She had 3 children under 4, found out she was pregnant again, and said, "If Jesus had said, 'You'll burn in Hell' I would have answered, 'So be it, I can't have another.'"

That was long before abortion was legal. She was lucky enough to find an OB who did it in his office. Hypnotized her so she wouldn't feel pain and the danger of anesthesia was removed.

Junebugfairy · Aug 30, 2009

i keep in contact with a 47 year old woman who came into my clinic, and we had some nice discussions.

she had her tubes tied at 33, but she discovered 7 months ago that she was pregnant at 47. she did have an abortion, but she mentioned to me that she was going to have some testing performed to see if her tubal was performed incorrectly somehow.

she had an hsg, as well as some sort of laparascopic procedure that she did not know the name of, and her tubes were tied correctly.

a perfectly executed tubal is not 100%, so just because you become pregnant does not mean that your tubal was performed incorrectly or negligently, it just means you fell into the failure rate.

my aunt became pregnant after her tubal, she had the baby but she never became pregnant again.

it is like a pill failure, statistics show it will happen, it just really sucks when it happens to you.