Doctors Say the Darnedest Things

Nurses General Nursing

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We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!

Winner will be announced May 16, 2017

UPDATE May 19, 2017:

The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:

I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out

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Rounding with medical students and the pediatric hospitalist, they (hospitalist)stated the child was a FLK. Funny lookin kid.... just a statement to fore warn them before the omg look that may happen. After rounding the medical student put the flk in

her h & p...she didn't understand that this was not a medical diagnosis. Oh boy!

The Pedi doc was called late for a scheduled cesarean and walks in the OR saying that he was in the shower when they called and then went on to comment about how unimpressive he was.

I work on a Telemetry unit. An ICU nurse was "pulled" to our unit. A cardiologist told her "what are you doing out here with the pigeons, when you could be back there soaring with the eagles" ----->I was so offended. I work my ass off. I'm not a damn pigeon!

I work in a dementia unit and one of the physicians was looking at a patient who appeared to have an extra set of testicles. The physician said not to worry " you can never have to many balls" OMG

I had a difficult non compliant patient who was labeled as drug seeking that needed a blood transfusion. Patient said she reacts and needs benadryl iv or she would refuse treatment. The doctor tried refusing to give benadryl stating that she is drug seeking and there was no documentation of transfusion reactions. He said we will restrain her if necessary. I said What about do no harm..give her the damn benadryl unless u want to restrain her

I had a doctor removing a chest tube from a patient. It was inserted under her left breast. She was very blessed upstairs, if you know what I mean. He had the patient lay on her side towards me and mouthed to me to hold her boob so he could remove the dressing and chest tube. I was not expecting that to come out of his mouth. LOL and trying to keep a straight face when the patient is watching me asking me what's going on. 😳

I had the exact same experience! Also wanted tacos afterward. :D

Specializes in ICU/PACU/PREOP.

Don't give that patient any pain medicine, they can take their own when they leave--said the plastic surgeon after performing surgery

Specializes in ICU/PACU/PREOP.

Don't give that patient any pain medicine; they can take their own- said the plastic surgeon after performing major surgery

Specializes in ICU/PACU/PREOP.

Alrighty then

Specializes in ICU/PACU/PREOP.

I do not know what is wrong

"That lady in there? She finally farted..."

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