Do you have friends at work?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I don't mean "work friends" that you talk to and spend time with only while on the clock; I mean friends who you would gladly meet for lunch or go shopping with on your day off. I'm talking about the kind of friend who knows your husband's nasty little habit that drives you up the wall and your hidden vices. Did you make any of those types of friends at work?

I never have. I made one of those kinds of friends in nursing school but once I entered the actual field I never felt comfortable with any of my co-workers to actively pursue a friendship outside of the place of employment.

I wonder if this is a unique phenomenon exclusive to facility nursing. My friends that work in traditional office settings find it easy to make friends at work. I have expanded my associate circle immensely through my friends and their coworker friendships. How come it's so difficult to cultivate those same types of relationships in health care?

Do you find yourself in a similar situation?

Specializes in ER, Acute care.

I have friends at work that we do meet for drinks, lunch or shopping, and we do also keep up with what is going on with each other. When we work together we have a great team atomosphere. Its nice to know that you can count on someone outside of the work place, because in the work place you may need help and I know I can count on co-workers and I trust them. I have not had a bad experience with anyone of them, we all have each others cell # which comes in handy if an emergency comes up we always have a source to help find our shift replacements. I do have friends that are not in the medical field that I do things with also, but not as much as with my co-workers and not as often.

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Specializes in ER, PACU, Med-Surg, Hospice, LTC.

I don't socialize on a regular basis with people from work. I will meet up with a large group for the occasional party at a restaurant, but that's about it.

Honestly, I just don't seem to share the same interests with most people I work with.

I also do not like to let my personal life mix with my social life because I have seen that mix cause a lot of problems for people. I have enough to worry about ;)

On that note, I do have a couple of co-workers that I absolutely LOVE to work with and am so happy when I see their name on the schedule next to mine.

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Specializes in NICU.

I have friends at work. Like other posters, we're busy with families and, often, school, but we do socialize out of work, too. It's pretty common on my unit.

Partly because there are enough nurses that you're bound to find someone you like and partly most of the time, you and another nurse are the only adults in a room for 3 days or nights in a row. It would be a verrry long shift if each of you huddled in your corners ;). But, I can see on other units how socialization out of work could be much less common.

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Specializes in Pediatrics Only.

Once..

And she moved away..

Seriously. I'm always friendly at work, we all get along, but I dont hang out after work, or on weekends with anyone. I dont feel that close to them.

I've *always* had a hard time making alot of friends - it takes me a while to open up - I was always the *very* shy child - I've come out of my shell alot, so to speak.

I had a best friend at my last job, and we hit it off instantly. I dont know what it was, but I do know that after she moved away, I seriously got depressed. We always hung out on our days off, I babysat after she had her son, went to photo sessions with them, etc. She moved, and I had nobody to hang out with anymore. (now I have the puppy, hes helping with that!)

I think i've sworn off close friends now after that..

Kidding, slightly..

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Specializes in Behavioral Health, Show Biz.

It DEPENDS...

ON THE PERSON....YOU

ON THE PEOPLE.....YOUR CO-WORKERS

ON THE PLACE.......THE WORK ENVIRONMENT (i.e., friendly, hostile, etc)

Play it "by-ear."

You never know!

:cool:

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.

Guess I'm lucky. A fair few of the girls at work, I count them as true friends. These are the ones who are there, when I need them, and they need me. Friends I want to hang out with, not just because it's a work nite out! (and there are a few of those, who I can spend my shift with happily, but would not choose to spend my off times with, to share my family life with.) Friends , true friends, nomatter where you meet them, will always be there.

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Specializes in LTC, office.

I do have one coworker whom I will meet for lunch or drinks outside of work. But this is pretty rare for me. I believe you have to be extremely careful who you allow into your out-of-work life. But it's not a reason to not make a true friend.

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No, not yet, but I've only been there a few months. There are some that could be friends, I think - but they're also travel nurses and will probably leave before it gets to that.

I'm an older nurse, with 3 kids, house, and a dog, etc -- I just don't have time for friends from work, much less even friendships in general -- sort of sad, but my kids are active and it just takes priority now.

I do like some of the nurses on our unit a lot, though, and we chat non-stop about our kids, lives, etc. We TALK about going out, but it never seems to happen as we are always having to rush home....

In my former career, though, I had true friendships and still keep in touch w/ a few of them now for almost 20 something years. I wish I could have friends like that again ...but it's hard as time goes on.

I'm also very close to my husband and I think he and I tend to shut out the world and just like to be together .... we're weird like that. :loveya:

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Specializes in Tele, Infectious Disease, OHN.

When I was in my 20's I was a lot more social with my coworkers. In fact, several of my best frineds are from that group. I think this is pretty rare. In 25 years since then I have had many jobs, had other friends from work but simply could not keep up. I think the older you get and the more demands you have on your time it is hard to have the time to make, let alone maintain, really good friendships. If I have time for a movie, a dinner out or a long phone call I try to do it with my girlfriends I already have. I am better at setting boundaries now as well. When I was younger I was pretty insecure and simply wanted approval from EVERYONE, so I tried to be all things to all people. I have seen some situations where a work friendship has caused problems. The good things about friends from work is they understand where you are coming from and hopefully have at least some basic common interests. Just be careful.

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Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

For me, it always seems a bit uncomfortable. It was different when I was in my 20's and single. Now, my family is my life and it takes up my time (which is how I like it). Also, when I leave my job, I don't want to be bothered. This may sound awful, but when I'm at work I'm very sociable and love to talk, but my job and life are pretty seperate.

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I am cordial at work but try to keep my personal life from my co-workers. I don't want to be the subject of their gossip afterall. In my opinion, it is just better that way.

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Specializes in School Nursing.

When I was single, many of my coworkers were outside friends. As I got older, married, had kids, etc., I gained more outside friends with similar interests. Currently my work friends are work friends, nothing else. And that's OK. Great people, but we don't do things outside of work. This may sound weird but I don't have time to keep up with a large circle of friends. I have family and a few close friends and that's enough at this point in my life.

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