Dear preceptor

[Ivanna_Nurse]

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a certain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

Love, your preceptee

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

Ah, I feel (a little) better now. I thought I was unique in that I did not have a single good preceptor in my nursing jobs - all of them had one or more serious problems, including the following:

- Talking about the orientee's many shortcomings, real or imagined, at the nurses' station, in front of patients, doctors, etc.

- Asking whether the orientee was "on medication" because she did not learn to set up a complicated piece of equipment (which the "preceptor" had worked with for 15 years) as quickly and efficiently as the "preceptor"

- Asking whether the orientee had memory problems if she dared ask the same question twice (about some paperwork that had not been encountered in several weeks)

- "Orienting" three or four new grads at the same time (i.e., basically throwing them to the wolves)

- Negative feedback, berating, putting down, chastising... you get the idea

- When the orientee had a really good day, saying "today was a little better" (i.e, rarely if ever praising)

- Threatening to time the orientee, who was new in a dialysis clinic where "speed" is everything to most of the nurses and other personnel, with an egg timer ("You're so slow!")

- More verbal abuse, belittling, put downs, etc. etc. (Yes, nurses DO eat their young and their own; still today)

- Not being a mentor, but a TORmentor

OK, vent over. I will survive this current orientation period - and swear to never, ever be a preceptor like the ones I have suffered under.

DeLana :)

[Ivanna_Nurse, BSN, RN]

To all of you who read this post, commented and offered advice and experience, thanks! I never in a million years thought that my misery would provide such a good read. With that being said, I'm cut loose and free, and I do my own thing. Things are looking good! To all of you who struggle with the same, you'll make it. Spread your wings and fly. Cheers, Ivanna

[billyboblewis]

Sounds like you got a preceptor who was to excuse the condition, a 'dick'. I have precepted at different times in my career and actually took classes for it. One of the best things about being a preceptor is that you can actually chill while the nurse you are with does most of the work. You are there to guide and lead, answer questions and assure that the quality of pt care is not disrupted. Sounds like you just got someone weird..sorry about that and know that it will be over soon and if it doesnt work out just move on with your life.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Keep this letter and re-read it every time you called to precept a new nurse/Orientee. I am so sorry this happened to you.

[Chanta2]

I also have had preceptors from hell. I counted 20 preceptors in a 3 month period for me. I can recall my supervisor told a nurse to watch me closely. She was so close to me I smelled her private parts! I told her to give me my personal space! She refused to move, I was flushing a pt. or some procedure she just refused to move away. I stood my ground and told her to "MOVE!" I hated that job! The money was great; but I had those awful witch nurses flying over me everyday! That job caused me to have bladder problems. I resigned.

My other friend nurse was also being harassed and bullied. Her blood pressure use to go up so high to the point she was close to having a stroke. She also quit. She and I quit because these nurses were so hateful and mean! I have been LPN for awhile, but these nurses felt nursing home nurses were dummies.

I cannot begin to explain the grief we endured.

I had 20 preceptors! I will end this story. It is causing me grief all over.

TO ALL PRECEPTORS WHO CAUSED YOUR SISTER NURSES GRIEF, SHAME ON YOU!

(OH, no more bladder issues.)

[Chanta2]

It is hard to keep your chin up when you are getting beat up at work from women who you thought were nurses just like you. The nurses work environment is full of bullies, and demeaning women.

[kainu2]

Thank you for sharing. I have an instructor with all the same smug, belittling, hatred for humanity. And to think she's a home health director; some people just don't know when to retire. Desperation & false modesty are so ugly, esp. at the expense of others.

[SweetDreamsRN]

I wish I had known then (when I started out as a new RN) what I know now.And that is to set a very high standard for your own behavior and your clinical skills. I can not emphasize enough that what I found in my clinical experiences was that for every "Old War Horse Blood Thirsty Dysfunctional Nurse" there were several other medical staff in the arena who wanted to mentor guide teach and help "grow" the new RN. I learned on my very first day as a new grad who had been hired into an ICU unit that if I was going to learn to be competent that I needed to figure out who I needed to align myself with. It was NOT my mentor.She was a chain smoking shrew who had been there for like 150 years:) Many of the full time RN's there were rude and resentful to my face. But fortunately for me there were so many super competent Per Diem ...Part Time and Travelers there that were willing to teach me. I know I was slow and bumbling when I started there.No one comes out of nursing school experienced and seasoned as a competent RN. I stayed there for about 6 months then I moved on and obtained more diverse nursing experience in other environments.What I learned from moving around is that there will always be bitter dysfunctional mean angry nurses on duty wherever you work.But there are usually an equal amount or more of positive energetic progressive loving nurses on duty to interact with. Kill the meanies with kindness I say. And cover your bases by being ethical honest attentive to detail hard working polite neat clean reliable helpful when possible a team player flexible and have strong boundaries. I have found that being totally professional at all times is the way to survive. Consider yourself a valuable asset in the workplace. And remeber it is all being done for our patients whom rely on us so much:yeah:

[Chanta2]

SweetdreamsRN, so very well said, and so encouraging. Thanks for the positive message!

[annacat]

It is too bad that you had such a poor preceptor. It really dose make one feel alienated when one is so hungry to learn and gets the equivilent of diet jello for a preceptor. I had 11 preceptors some good and some bad. One things for sure, I was aware of many of the inconsistencies in following protocol between all of my precpeptors. From the good ones I took what I liked and from the bad ones I learned what not to do!

[Liddle Noodnik]

That stinks, sorry you went thru that. The closest I ever came to a "bad" preceptor was when I was led to believe by others that she would be a "bad" preceptor. She actually wasn't bad at all.

I'm glad it's over, hope you did get to learn what you DID need to learn! Good article!

[RNnoelle]

I completely understand how you feel! I'm a recent new grad and my first preceptor at my new job was horrible. In the beginning, he left me to figure things out by myself while he went out for a smoke or flirted with the other new grads starting on my floor. Then a few weeks into it my supervisor found out that he was abandoning me most of the time and apparently talked to him about it so he started hovering over every little thing I did! Not sure which was worse... Thankfully they gave me an entirely different preceptor towards the end of my orientation. Oh well, I'm just glad it's over and I'm working on my own now! If anything, I learned how not to be a preceptor :)