Dear preceptor

[Ivanna_Nurse]

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a certain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

Love, your preceptee

[bosnanurse]

Ivanna, I had same experience once in my life time . I took it with grace and with funny look into this. I did not forgot her totally .. Especially now when I come with my students and "nicely" steer them from her knowing that she might cut off some of the new wings that just are starting to learn how to fly. You came out as an eagle and just FLY and SMILE , who can resist to freedom?

[PherbRN]

I know where your coming from. My preceptor went as far as telling me that she "had to do it" and that precepting was the last thing in her to do list.

Further more she told me never to speak to her, unless it was related to nursing, and would respond to my questions only if she felt my questions where worthy of an answer. Get this, on my break I decided to step outside for a breath of fresh air and this preceptor told me to go away because I was invading her space. So you see, I can relate to your experience.

These types of experiences will always make you stronger. I believe if our self-worth is fragile this kind of person can destroy you.

I have been nursing for 17 years, and I have encountered some fantastic nurses and others who are really bitter and mean.

The difference between the bitter and the fantastic nurse is the bitter nurse may not know how to forgive and perhaps her self esteem is so low that in order to feel good about herself, she must tear someone down in order to feel superior and in control. The operative word is control. The good natured nurse normally can feel good about herself and her job. She has no need to tear anyone down or a need to be in control.

After 17 years of nursing, I can pick out the people who are actually called to nursing and those who are just there for the money. Thank You for your post

[my2bitz]

Boy did your posts bring back memories of when I started out in NICU. I started with after working 6 months in skilled nursing facility and my experience with my first born preemie lead my heart back to the Nursery. My preceptor would have me come to her before doing anything which of course "is the point" and after drawing my own labs and spinning my own crits I wouldn't receive much feedback she would just say ok. Looking back (1997) she never gave me any indication that she wanted me to retain anything that she showed me.It seems that it was her turn to precept and she really did not want to be bothered she'd show up/off just for the sake of appearances (docs parents& peers). Long story short when offered two more weeks with her (my ability wasn't under question, I'm a quick study and have always been praised for thinking on my feet but the politics in nursing critical care especially... it's a weeding out process to see how bad you want to stay) I declined and decided to go to GENERAL PEDS where it was less stuffy and just a few less egos(I've got mine now u gotta earn yours...no stuff sherlock at least make the environment condusive to learning). At my current job I have the privelege

of ORIENTATING NEW HIRES and I make a point of being WARM,THOROUGH,and ADDRESSING ANY CONCERNS they might have. MY SUPERVISOR always calls to ask if I think the NEW HIRE likes the CLIENT and HOW THEY DID,I have gotten ACCOLADES for ORIENTATING NURSES:yeah:SO NO WORRIES IN NO TIME THAT EXPERIENCE WILL BE A MERE MEMORY,THE WORLD HAS A WAY OF BALANCING ITSELF OUT,IT'S HOW YOU TAKE THOSE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES AND DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE !!! BE SWEET,TOODLES!!!

[Liddle Noodnik]

I know where your coming from. My preceptor went as far as telling me that she "had to do it" and that precepting was the last thing in her to do list.etc ....

How long ago was that? That is HORRENDOUS! wow... Glad you survived it!

Boy did your posts bring back memories of when I started out in NICU... At my current job I have the privelege

of ORIENTATING NEW HIRES and I make a point of being WARM,THOROUGH,and ADDRESSING ANY CONCERNS they might have. MY SUPERVISOR always calls to ask if I think the NEW HIRE likes the CLIENT and HOW THEY DID,I have gotten ACCOLADES for ORIENTATING NURSES:yeah:SO NO WORRIES IN NO TIME THAT EXPERIENCE WILL BE A MERE MEMORY,THE WORLD HAS A WAY OF BALANCING ITSELF OUT,IT'S HOW YOU TAKE THOSE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES AND DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE !!! BE SWEET,TOODLES!!!

Sometimes people teach us how NOT to be! That's great :) It's too bad it took you from your first love though, any regrets?

[glitter1]

Beautiful statement. That is so true. Its too bad we all can not get along. Our job would be so much easier if we trusted each other as nurses. You give new and old nurses something to think about...and maybe next time the next person will have a good expereince.:bowingpur

[PherbRN]

What has happened to the nurses of yesterday? When we cared for our "patients" (now referred to as clients) with sincere compassion. I know that our working environment has changed drastically. We work longer hours, job cuts, and increased responsibilities, over tired and so on. We must understand that our Co-Workers are not responsible for what is happening in healthcare. So why do we often treat each other with disrespect? Why is the anger channeled toward new employees? Why do we tear each other down instead of helping and supporting one another? We are all in this together.

I have had the opportunity to teach nursing students. The first thing I teach them is to never turn on one another.

If something has to be reported, do it! Even so, never put down a colleague.

Let's take our frustrations out on the guilty parties.

[Agnetha]

I am sorry that this was your experience of preceptorship. Although it's difficult when your emotions

are 'stretched' in so many directions, we all need challenging from time to time on how we are relating

to others. I think developing skills of assertiveness is an integral part of development as a nurse.

I think some direct communication about the issues you mentioned and how they made you feel, may have caused your preceptor to reconsider her 'style'. 'Speaking the truth in love' is powerful. Whatever our level of experience,

we have much to learn from each other. I hope you go from strength to strength and your experiences make you a

sensitive and thoughtful preceptor in due time.

[ilhamtony, MSN]

As a preceptor, my empathy goes out to you for having to deal with less than an ideal situation for learning, and becoming a new staff member. TO all who read these, if you are ever placed with a preceptor with whom you are not satisfied: 1. Tell your immediate supervisor or training department, this is not a sign of weakness; but a yearning for a true, healthy experience. 2. If the organization leaders have no understanding of your circumstance, then perhaps that is not the optimum work environment; although you will encounter a bumpy day every now and again, your preceptor should be setting you up for success! Remember, that organization is looking for staff for a reason, it may be that the organizations supports a lack of team association and enables isolation of its professionals, that is one reason why people leave an organization! Find a place that truely embraces your talent, as you demonstrate the appropriate compassion and approach to nursing that deserves embracing!

[Care2be]

Ok, so this is a vent. I apologize for the length of this post. Please note that this is not meant to be a general statement of my opinion on a whole group of people. Dont flame me. Im mad and tired and dont have anyone else to tell.

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a cetain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

Love, your preceptee

Playing devils advocate here, I would remind you that in NS it would be taught that regardless of how many years experience you may have in field, in this case you are considered a "novice". And that being humble is an element of critical thinking. To get a true feel for the story we would have to hear the other persons side as well though.

[Reddy,RN]

This story is the original poster's and it is extremely well done for someone who is mad and tired. I think this is a terrific point of view. I'd be curious to know how things are going all this time later. I'm not sure what "true feel" means. There's a boatload of feelings here. Intentions and reactions of others are interpreted here but why not? It's a post, not a court trial.

[Ivanna_Nurse, BSN, RN]

Care, I guess I should clarify further for the sake of the discussion.....I was a critical care nurse previously, CCRN and ACLS cert, as well as a preceptor myself. With that being said, I was ENDING my 5 month orientation, with 2 weeks on nights (6 shifts....) I sure as hell better know how to run the CVVH and touch the pumps... justa thought.

To Reddy, its been fine. As soon as I was done with her I felt so much better. My patients and their families are always happy to see me. Thank you for your post.

~Ivanna

[lozilla]

Laurie,

Keep your chin up and just roll with the punches. Those nurses are acting really stupid. Ignore them put them on extinction you are not there to be their BFF( best friend forever). Figure out exactly which nurses you are accountable to and develop communication and dialogue with them. Stand your ground. You have to be large and in charge to survive sometimes.New nurses are threatening to some of those nurses who have been on the same unit forever and think they know it all. Take them out of THEIR comfort zone and they no doubt would have to ask for assistance to get things done. Always say please and thank you and be open minded flexible alert and willing to learn.If you do that you will find some emotionally intelligent nurses who will help you develop your skills. I took my fair share of harassment when I was a newbie too from many sadistic R.N.'s BUT I also encountered an equal amount of sweet intelligent patient R.N.'s who wanted to teach me and help "grow" me into a competent nurse. Looking back I am sure I seemed pathetic hilarious obsessive compulsive slow too detail oriented and someone to giggle about behind my back.I managed to align myself with people who saw me as an asset:)

Thank you SweetDreamsRN for going through the process and coming out the other side.

I never gelled with my preceptor- oh joy how did that happen! We've not even started it yet and I'm a year post grad, really can't face the prospect so I guess it's totally my fault. She's the kind of self-centred nurse who would say 'don't you know who I am?' to a patient, she's also unsympathetic, rude, and tries to make an idiot out of you in front of other people. She's already called me fool before for reading the extremely messy rota wrong one week(???). The biscuit was telling me off in front of other members of staff for doing my job, I went to pieces, of course when she sat me down for a 'talk'. I did tell her a few home truths though- us newbies only seems to learn when we do something wrong and are chastised or mocked, and we do not feel supported when we are on our own with a severely deteriorating patient.

I will take your advice and try to stand my ground more, it's hard when I can't answer back with good enough rationales as they can but I will just tell it from my angle. Large and in charge! Still not sure whether I should just grin and bear it with the preceptorship or try and change it to another person and face the consequences?