Dear preceptor

Ok, so this is a vent. I apologize for the length of this post. Please note that this is not meant to be a general statement of my opinion on a whole group of people. Don't flame me. I'm mad and tired and don't have anyone else to tell. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a certain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

Love, your preceptee

Specializes in Dialysis, ICU and ER.

Well I guess I am not surprised, I have seen this myself, I have felt this myself and I have reported the person that actually was inflicting this pain on others. I as a male found this clinical instructor to be the most knowledgeable and (worthless) person in any place of authority. She had the opportunity to be a mentor that we would look up to for the rest of our lives. Instead she chose to belittle and degrade us to the point that we no longer listened to her. She insulted us from day one after she sweet talked us into letting our guards down.She told her life experiences and her accreditation's, then she asked us what experiences we had. Something from the start said Randy don't do it! I should have listened to the voice in my head. I was the last one in our class to offer up my experiences and it was the last time I offered ANY knowledge on ANY subject relating to health care. I had previous experience in the ER, ICU, and 3 1/2 years in the Dialysis Unit. Not to mention I was a Paramedic as well. The second I finished, We were all told how we Didn't know (*&^%) (crap) about anything and we were told to keep our mouths shut from there on OUT. Word for word! She was pulled out of retirement TWICE, to be a preceptor/clinical instructor. She told us how she didn't want to be there in the first place and it showed! She was 70 something years old so you know she was from the OLD school for sure. Do I have to tell you she HATED MEN. and I knew it! I was told by other male students who had her, That I was in trouble from day one. She rode me like a dog! She gave me a patient one evening that she was sure, Going to rip me apart. This older patient, a woman also hated men. It was well known, and I was told this by the nurses on the floor as well. I still laugh when I think about how I had that very patient eating out of my hand by the (NIGHTS END). It fried the preceptors butt to see how I handled that patient with professionalism, respect and authority! It was my pleasure to report her to the Dean of Nursing prior to starting our hospital clinical time! She (the Dean) promised that this Clinical instructor would NEVER be asked back to the college. I checked the next year just to make sure, and she was GONE! What a GREAT chance she missed out on, to be so useful to the students that were there to depend on guidance from her. It was her loss. My best to you from here on out. You will be GREAT as a Preceptor! ;)

I relate so much to your letter to your preceptor, because I have dealt with these preceptors myself! I hope we all remember the way we felt when we, ourselves, become preceptors for new nurses.

wow, sounds like you had my preceptor. although at the end of my preceptorship, she gave me a glowing evaluation. I was soo shocked I nearly broke out in tears. Just grin and bear it! We've all been through that. And the saying sadly still lives on...nursing eats their youngs!

Hi,

I'm really sorry about this, but not surprise. I'm 64yrs. old and have been an RN,

bsn for 33 yrs.

I oriented to the ER at a suburban hospital outside philly. HORRIBLE When i wanted to "just wipe off and elderly woman, my preceptor said "we don't do this here" We were not busy at this point and she then reported me and said that she wouldn't want me to even take care of her mother. Her, an RN 3yr. Me33yrs. They including the nurse educator never made policy and procedure info availabe after i had asked many time.

I was her aide, and she wouldn't let me take lunch. Nurses, we need to help and take care of each other., we did years ago. I left the hospital, but let my feelings be known, Magnet status, never there as long as I'm alive

Specializes in Ortho/Peds/MedSURG/LTC.

I am 53, been a nurse, RN, 9 months, (without any CNA/LPN experience) had two horrible preceptors..just horrible miserable humanodes (one got fired for stealing narcodics since). I got hired on a floor with a very high turnover, with a group "click" (girls with 3 years together), picking me to death with glee, a floor manager that turns a deaf ear and a blind eye, who knows I bite my tongue. I finally began my counterattack, which went.. "....I saw where you did not start your antibiotics yesterday".."did you mean to leave those oxy-codone in the room with Mr. so n so..didn't they go to the room next door..I never leave meds in someone elses room!!??", "the lady in room 9 said you promised to Heplock her IV 2 hours prior to me Heplocking it-she was quite upset"..."you got those orders to begin 2 Units of blood over 7 hours prior to me coming on ...where you that busy..I feel so sorry for you?"...ended with dont worry I did not tell the manager ..sorry your so busy.. OMG am I joining them??? HOWEVER..they have totally stopped the "nit picking" and are given me more respect..and I am handling 6 patients. I pray daily, hourly at times!! I even told one nurse the next time she tells everyone that I charted a pill on a wrong patient...she is never gonna hear the end of me and I will take it to the floor manager..cause I see her errors everyday, everywhere, I just deal with them!! They used to make me so nervous I thought about quitting everyday! Now I know, and you must know, they aren't perfect, like nursing school drills into your head-be perfect, nobody is perfect. My perspective, 9 month later, is much better, I still study when I go home, I take good notes and rewrite them over and over adding to anything I missed....one of the floor nurses went through "my typed notes-entitled for the new nurse on the floor" or "what to do when a patient falls" and begged me to copy them for the new nurses coming to the floor, and for the ones that ask her questions....its full of little tips, that preceptors forget to tell, because WE ARE SOO BUSY on the floor. Nursing is my life! I wish I'd done this years ago!! I will never ever ever be ugly to new new nurses! (or old ones) They don't deserve it!

Specializes in General.

Just happy to know that you had gone through it with no incidence, that you even took a good learn from it. A *positive* base for someday if you are given a chance to be a preceptor. I got almost a same kind experience when I was a newly graduated nurse, I got even an abusive words just like she was poorly educated preceptor. You know, as a male nurse I was about to present her a slap on the face, but I was able to stay with my conscience. Now as a senior nurse and a teacher, I always treat all yunior with care, eventhough some of them are really total jerks to be taught.

Then hope you are going to be one among the good nurses on earth... ^_^

Specializes in Med-Surg, , Home health, Education.

I still cannot understand why this behavior persists. After the way I was treated 30 years ago when I started nursing I swore I wouldn't treat others this way and I have gone above and beyond to make sure that new nurses felt accepted and at ease with questions. I did not have a chance to read all the posts and I'm sure someone suggested asking your manager if there is perhaps another preceptor that you could work with. Sometimes there are just personalitiy differences that are hard to get past. Otherwise, maybe bring her a little gift to soften her up a bit?? Best of luck to you. Stay strong and keep your chin up. We made it through and just vow to be a great preceptor for others in the future!

It is too bad your experience was negative. Don't let it repeat itself with you - that will be the best revenge! Because of this, you will undoubtedly be a great preceptor if and when you choose to be one. I personally loved being a preceptor, but then again, I love teaching. Even some of the best nurses don't, and they shouldn't be forced into being preceptors!

Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.
If the woman at the desk did nothing - she also participated in the bullying.

Hi. I'm not sure if I completely agree with this. Addressing only the interpersonal--not the professional nurse aspect because I'm not starting nursing SCHOOL until Monday AND not addressing the OP's situation directly--could it be that one who does not do anything is 1) trying to stay out of it, 2) knows the nurse's reputation/personality and wishes to neither encourage nor engage with the bully, and 3) is committed to just working her butt off with a personally drama-free shift?

With bullies, especially professionally, an effective way to get them to stop is to not give them a supportive audience NOR to challenge them. Eventually, they won't seek your ear to spew their hatred, and they won't target you, either. If everyone did that, there would be fewer adult bullies, I would hope. Why isn't it "ok" to just not become a lackey? In all my previous jobs and studies, I have been especially good at finding/attracting the people who don't complain and just work their asses off, while staying out of the line of sight of the bullies and complainers who are desperate for more people to follow them. Somehow, I've gained the respect of my non-nursing professional peers and fellow students for doing so. Calm, intentional non-action is noticeable to those seeking the same.

In fact, if it was clear that I wasn't listening to the bully--actually, actively ignoring them (I have that facial expression down pat)--and a professional peer called me out for my "inaction," I would be extremely angry for a peer asking me to take sides. There are more sides to a conflict than just the "good" ones and the "bad" ones. There are also those who only wish to stay out off the "playground" and get their stuff done.

Re: Dear Preceptor

I rated your "vent" excellent because I have also experienced mean spirited "preceptors." Mean spirited is the only appropriate description for these non-professionals, as there is no valid reason to treat a new colleague in such a cold, deragotory manner. The only illogical reason for this sort of behavior is that this is a nurse who is miserable in his/ her chosen profession and life in general. No self respect translates into disrespect for others. Hopefully all nursing preceptors will read about your experience and chose to treat their future preceptees with courtesy, professionalism and friendliness. This will help ensure that their new colleague successfully completes their orientation and enjoys the process of acclimating to their new work environment. Glad you "hung" in there:yeah:

Specializes in school RN, CNA Instructor, M/S.

"I take good notes and rewrite them over and over adding to anything I missed....one of the floor nurses went through "my typed notes-entitled for the new nurse on the floor" or "what to do when a patient falls" and begged me to copy them for the new nurses coming to the floor, and for the ones that ask her questions....its full of little tips, that preceptors forget to tell, because WE ARE SOO BUSY on the floor. Nursing is my life! I wish I'd done this years ago!! I will never ever ever be ugly to new new nurses! (or old ones) They don't deserve it! Jan 07, 2010 12:04 AM"

CAMOFLOWER!! I would love to see those notes!!! It's important that we take care of each other rather than tear each other down. I have learned so much from my peers here at allnurses. This is my 100th post and I have to take the opportunity to say thank you to all my nursing peers CNA, HHA, unit clerks, EMT, AMT, MD, PA, NP all those letters in the alphabet soup of health care!! Happy New Year to you all as Well!!:yeah::uhoh3:

I too have experienced a insensitive preceptor. My primary preceptor would tell me that I was very smart, and then behind my back she would tell others I needed more time and that she did not think I would make it through orientation. Some of my peers told me the things that were being said about me, I decided to discuss the things I was hearing with my preceptor. When I would ask questions she would give me looks like what do you want now. I felt very uncomfortable with asking her questions, and I could even feel her fustration. I finally was able to switch preceptors and boy she was was heaven sent. She made everything seem so simple. My new preceptor was very patient, encouraged me to think outside the box, and nutured my critical thinking skills. I am so grateful for the experience b/c I can truly say it has made me a stronger, tenacious and competent nurse.