Date my Doctor/Employer?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hi guys. I have a rather complicated story, but i'll make it short and sweet. I recently graduated with my BSN (just applied for the masters program :specs:) and just started seeing a neurologist for migraine/tension type headaches. However, when I first saw my doctor, I was blown away by him, but I would remain professional due to HIPAA and medical ethics codes. In a span of a month, I had seen him for routine appointments 5 times (I thought that was a little much). At my last appointment, he had asked if I would want a CRNP job working for him. But the way he asked made me get to thinking. First he called me from the exam room to his office, very professional. But once I got there, he pulled out "the doctors" chair for me to sit in, and he sat on the corner of his desk facing me to ask. So in my opinion, he was trying to "hit" on me, because he also knows that I just graduated and don't have my CRNP yet, not even close. I decline the offer, stating that I am happy where I am, but am very flattered. To end the story, my medication was doing fine, and he wanted to see me again in 3 weeks, and only wrote a month script for it. Got me thinking again. Last week, I was working out and saw him at my gym, and we exchanged looks, but kept it professional. He called to check in on me to make sure I wasn't having any worsening headaches, and I mentioned seeing him, and he wanted to work out next time we saw each other at the gym. So, from other nurse's insight, is he keeping just a professional relationship or wants more than that? I don't want to switch MD's if I don't have to. Any ideas on how to see if he wants to go out? :heartbeat

Specializes in LTC/MDS/PPS.

I'd be more worried about what his wife would do than HIPPA.

Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5199756.stm, this was asked on a website concerning British doctors, My understanding has always been here in the US. it is unethical for a doctor to date his patient.

My loved one when he was still in practice could not treat me . Well maybe I should clarify that. He could prescribed say an antibiotic for me as long as he had a full medical file on me same with the kids. As I had never been his patient, he did not precribed for me

.Otherwise their is a $10,000.00 fine.

In your situation I would first find a new neurologist. Once that it is done. If you date it is of no ones concern.

Specializes in LTC.
I'd be more worried about what his wife would do than HIPPA.

Right on sister girl ! :yeah::yeah:LOL !

To the OP- Please keep us posted !

Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

don't be shy .. go for it !! i wouldn't wait much longer i think you should do it !! please keep us posted !! then change dr's !!

Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

Ayaya...so many questions and thoughts for a soo simple easy think... just ask him... and after you will see what will be happen...don't twist your mind THINKING, be real.. and proactive, loool.

May be after dating you will rennounce to psych medication, looooool. Or keep meds and let dr away, loool. Or keep both but change the doctor.... or give all of them away and LIVE! Hugs hon, hope that you will be happy!

Ok just to play devil's advocate here.

Are you SURE he is hitting on you, or is your attraction to him skewing the perception? I have had multiple docs be quite friendly and casual in interview situations, they like to ask about how I get along with people and generally as a person because I could be their co-worker for a very long time.

Did he try to ask any questions about you when he spoke to you about a job? It seems like that would have been a good time for him to ask you about your longer term goals etc.

I did have a doc who said something about hiring me and moving to ______ together, finished his fellowship and looking for a wife, but then again I laughed it off since we were friends from waaaaaaay back and I am happily married (which he forgot). However if a doc I didn't know acted the same I'd be mighty weirded out!

So back on topic, ARE you interested? maybe you could arrange for a meeting to ostensibly talk about career as NP (what sort of graduates would he hire, etc, keep it professional) and see if you get any more clear vibes from that conversation?

I dont know,I'm all about traditions,wait for him to do the first move,my current BF (not MD),called me 10 times to ask me out on a date,if a man likes he will find a way to tell you!

Hey I am with the girls! If he asks you out, ask if he is married before you accept. If he's not then great, go for it! You better keep us posted. So what if he's your doc... it's not like your some silly girl.

Once you start this kind of thread, your obligation is to keep us informed (HIPPA rule... just kidding) So we don't have to watch Grey's Anatomy anymore (that show really stinks these days doesn't it?!). :redbeathe

I say go for it! He's a doctor for god sakes. He's educated and is going to make a lot of money.

I appreciate everyone's responses! :) Being a newer grad, I just thought I'd be nice to get some responses from seasoned nurses who've been in the game a lot longer than I have.

And I guess I forgot to add this part in-- his office is about 40 minutes away from my house, and the gym, so I thought it was more of a coincidence to see him there then my feelings overacting. And to add to that, I always keep a professional relationship with every doctor, making sure not to burn any bridges, because you never know who you will be working with in the future :).

One more thing--I feel like I'm in Grey's or House. I don't normally ask out guys, I usually get asked, and I haven't gone about this approach in some time. What's the best way to casually put it? Something like, "hey, let's work out next time at the gym" jokingly and see what he says?

Any more cunning ideas?

THANKS GUYS

Specializes in Critical Care,Recovery, ED.

There is the old saying that "when one fools around at work someone usually becomes a fool". That said you aren't working for him just a patient and that's a complication as other posters have said. You really do need to ask him if he is interested in a different type of potential relationship. You definely don't want to keep him as your treating MD if the answer is yes.

Some MDs especially the just finished fellowship/ residencey types can be "socially inept" in this sphere.

Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

The only problem you have is being his patient. This is against medical ethics. I can find the article which also talks of this, as a doctor dating his patient is a big fat no. If you only did work for him that is if you accepted a job offer it not an issue except for what happens if the relationship falls apart.

http://www.medindia.net/news/view_news_main.asp?x=5848

http://www.opinionjournal.com/federation/feature/?id=110009568

+ Add a Comment