Is attending a patient's funeral overstepping "the" boundary?

[BostonTerrierLover]

I have a young man that has frequented the ER, and this small hospital (pediatric), that I saw come into this world, and fight for the short time he had.

There was a small incident with EMT/Paramedics, NO ONE knows what happened, but it had NOTHING to do with his death, and was 3 transits ago. I would hate to see the family in or around town after missing this funeral. I just wanted them to know how much the little guy impacted us. They are also "county" and have been asked by an alderman NOT to attend. Nothing was said of Hospital Personnel. The family wrote a wonderful card of thanks to the Hospital in the paper. This is a delimma as other nurses have asked what I will do, and what they should do. I stated, "right now I 'want' to, but I don't know yet."

Is it frowned on to attend according to patient/Healthcare worker boundaries, or would another notion be more proper?

What would you all do?

[BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN]

My brother died at 17 from a MVA, I was 15. I watched my parents go through it every year to now where I am 29. I know that is the worst thing a human being can go through on this earth, buring a child. It is a pain that never receives closure.

I just wanted to say that I have sent up a many thoughts, and prayers to parents who have lost children (of any age), and I will continue to do so. Thank you all for sharing such personal, and intimate details of your walks.

:redbeatheBoston

[Mandychelle79, ASN, RN]

From the family side

My husband's grandma was a resident at the LTC facilty my mom and I both worked at. She was there before my husband and I met. When she passed, not one staff member besides my mom and I attended, my mom was there to get my kids for the evening visitation hours. I was hurt that no one came.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

We'll actually have services in our chapel when one of our frequent flyers get their wings. The family is invited, staff can sneak down for a few minutes during their shift.

[Morainey, BSN, RN]

I hope one of the nurses that cared for my grandpa as he died in the ICU would come to his funeral, so I could say thank you. After he died, we left and I feel very badly that I didn't say thank you to the doctor and nurses who cared for him. I wrote a thank you note but it would mean a lot to me in person.

[IdianaCNA1993]

I had a resident pas away when I was off shift she was very kind and nice she was 35 and was on a vent. She new how to make you feel better when you were having a bad day and she was also in healthcare prior to being put on the vent. She also had a lot of good advice too. I wish that I would have went to her funeral but I didn't because I had to work the next night and when I think about it right now I think about how selfish I was not to go. So in my opinion GO!!! you will feel better to have closure. :hug:

[UK-HCA]

Here in the UK it is considered absolutely inappropriate to attend a patient's funeral. We are supposed to remain professional at all times and once the patient has left the building, that's it; no further contact with that family is allowed as it would be unprofessional.

Not that I like it though!

[NurseCard, ADN]

When my mother died (after being on hospice much longer than expected) we thought at least one of the hospice nurses would come to the funeral. We had grown quite attached to them. Not one of them came. No card, or even "I'm sorry" from them. The only time we saw them was when they came to the house and cleared out the things belonging to hospice. We were quite hurt actually.

If you feel in your heart you should go, then by all means go!!

Wow, that's terrible. Hopefully the nurses had some particular reason for not going, like

perhaps they were forbidden to attend by their supervisor. I don't know.

When my husband's young nephew died, I was amazed and pleased by the number of people wearing scrubs, that showed up at the funeral home.

[Fiona59]

My patient knew he was dying and asked me to go. So I did. Lovely man.

[ltlshamrock]

Sometimes, I attend for myself as a closure,

[ltlshamrock]

Sometimes I attend a service for closure for myself, other times I attend for the family for support and/or respect.

[LaneyB]

On the peds onc/bmt floor we tried to make sure at least one staff member was present at each funeral. And unfortunately we had many funerals.

In public health I have only had one pt. die, and I did go to the funeral.

[BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN]

Thank God, Their are nurses who are built strong and giving enough to work on Pediatric Oncology, and Oncology in General. (Not forgeting you Hospice Nurses either- You are all AMAZING TO ME!!!! Society doesn't know HOW LUCKY we are to have you!!! It's comforting to know when I get there, to the last steps of my walk, there is someone waiting to make it better.

I wasn't built for it. I would be in a Mental Institution very quickly, and those "padded" walls would be a reality.

Thanks for what you guys do. It's truly an emotional rollercoaster between hope and desperation daily for those positions, I am in awe of these Nurses, and ever grateful:bowingpur:nurse:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:redbeatheBoston