Is attending a patient's funeral overstepping "the" boundary?

[BostonTerrierLover]

I have a young man that has frequented the ER, and this small hospital (pediatric), that I saw come into this world, and fight for the short time he had.

There was a small incident with EMT/Paramedics, NO ONE knows what happened, but it had NOTHING to do with his death, and was 3 transits ago. I would hate to see the family in or around town after missing this funeral. I just wanted them to know how much the little guy impacted us. They are also "county" and have been asked by an alderman NOT to attend. Nothing was said of Hospital Personnel. The family wrote a wonderful card of thanks to the Hospital in the paper. This is a delimma as other nurses have asked what I will do, and what they should do. I stated, "right now I 'want' to, but I don't know yet."

Is it frowned on to attend according to patient/Healthcare worker boundaries, or would another notion be more proper?

What would you all do?

[VICEDRN, BSN, RN]

GO!

This is not an uncommon practice among nurses around here.

[tewdles, RN]

Hospice staff frequently attend the viewings or funeral services of our patients.

[MomRN0913]

I work in hospice and when our patient dies its a part of our work day to go to a funeral if we chose.

[DemonWings]

An ICU nurse who took care of my grandpa came to his funeral. She was the one who brushed his hair, gave him a shave and filed his nails during his stay. We were very touched.

[Pinkmegan]

Here in the UK it is considered absolutely inappropriate to attend a patient's funeral. We are supposed to remain professional at all times and once the patient has left the building, that's it; no further contact with that family is allowed as it would be unprofessional.

Not that I like it though!

What a load of rubbish!!!! I am almost a professional mourner after working as a nurse since 1989.

We don't attend random funerals but, if I have built up a relationship with a patient, and their family, I would feel extremely guilty if I did not attend. At most of the funerals that I, and my colleagues on our unit, attend, positive mentions are made about us! Sometimes we are asked if we will speak at the funerals.

I don't know where you work but, wherever it is, I feel that you should consider your future there as it sounds to be a cold and uncaring environment.

[caliotter3]

I was deeply disturbed when I finally found out that a patient had passed. I told the staffing coordinator that they should have informed the nurses. They did not even tell us when the Director passed away. It was like it was a big, deep secret that needed to be kept. I found that to be deplorable and a reflection on the individuals involved.

[Lynx25, LPN]

I have gone to several, enough that I went out and bought my "funeral clothes".

I generally stay towards the back, give my condolences to the family members that I recognize, and try not to attract attention.

The family members have always, without fail- really appreciated the gesture. I have one family who STILL visits every once in a while, and the daughter hunts me down to give me a hug each time.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

I went to one funeral of a frequent flier guy that was my age and whom I had many mutual friends with outside of work (though I was never personally friends with him). Many of my coworkers went, but it felt very awkward and it's not likely something I will do again.