"Are you saved?" How do YOU deal with these types of questions - page 9

I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are... Read More

  1. by   danu3
    Quote from grimmy

    [font=book antiqua]i interviewed several places before i chose the current facility wherein i work. while this isn't considered the "deep" south, it's south to me! i think i immediately nixed working in alabama, partly because of the awful pay, but also because of the hyper-biblebelting i saw in the staff of the hr offices! when i interviewed, one of the secretaries, who was making idle chit-chat with me asked me what kind of church i go to (presuming i would live there), and i said "i'm unitarian-universalist (uu)." she frowned and said, "is that a church?" i said, "some places of worship are called churches, others are called fellowships. it depends." she was thoroughly perplexed. after working it out in her mind she replied, "well, you can come to my church...we all believe in god, right?" i was too heartsick to say anything, and i let her ramble on. it continued on...later on, after the interview, i stayed with some friends in birmingham, eating out with a group, and nearly everyone who was introduced to me asked, "where do you go to church?" to say the least, i felt some sort of affront, but all i could think of to say was, "i don't live here." it seemed to satisfy everyone except one, who practically cornered me into stating my religion, and when i did, stated emphatically that i was not going to a real church! :imbar only after the fact did i find out this was a baptist minister. needless to say, i didn't enjoy the welcome.
    wow! that is so different from here in california (or the west coast). it sure sounded like "where do you go to church?" is like "what do you do as a living?" kind of question out here (which can be insulting too for people who are not working for paid for whatever reason).

    -dan
  2. by   callnurse45
    Quote from nrsjo
    I ran into this when I moved to the midsouth 4 years ago from Wisconsin. The first time someone asked me if I'd been saved, my response was "from what?" I had no clue what they were asking. I try very very hard to avoid discussions of religion. Especially here. So.............I ignore the question. Until I can't anymore and then I just tell people I don't discuss religion. I won't even discuss it with the hospital chaplain when he comes through pushing the religious literature. It's bad enough every meeting at the hospital is lead with prayer.

    It's just over the top and in your face here, and I have never adjusted to it.
    I, too, relocated to the southeast from NYC, and have had that question asked of me many times. It took awhile to get used to the "in your face" way in which the question is posed, as if daring you to respond in any way other than "yes". I am very reluctant to answer that question because of the predominantly evangelical population here in the "Bible Belt. However, if pushed, I tell them that I am of another faith. Usually, I get a puzzled look from the person asking the question. They practically run away, when I tell them that I am a Buddhist. There is not much tolerance for any other faiths down here, but occasionally, I do meet people with open minds. I shudder to think of our current congress, white house, and senate, where the majority are to the religious right. I pray for more tolerance all around.
  3. by   danu3
    Quote from elizabells
    I was gonna stay out of this, but this is my main issue with the whole "are you saved" issue. And danu, just want you to know I'm not trying to attack you here,
    No problem. I myself is learning a lot in this disucssion.

    this is something that comes up all the time, in every profession, in every part of the world. How I treat anyone speaks nothing about my faith or lack thereof or whatever. Jesus said to be a nice person (among other things, I know). But whether or not someone treats others with kindness has absolutely no relationship to what religion someone professes to practice.
    That probably depends if the person is a "cultural" Christian, "cultural" Jew, "cultural" Muslim... etc or someone where their faith plays a significant role in their life. For people whose faith plays a significant role, their behavior and their faith are highly connected. Take the "Are you save" question for instant, that is part of a particular Christian theology which fuel this kind of behavior. Take the political religious right, their behavior is base again on a particular Christian theology (just as the Christian left). How I treat another person also depends on my religious conviction and it just so happened that my particular theological understand does not encourage me to ask people left and right "are you save?".

    You brought up another interesting point, that is the relationship between one's faith and one's behaviors. For some, there are really no connection and for others it has a huge connection.

    I do, however, agree for example, if someone is treating you with compassion, you can't really tell if that person is a Christian or an atheist.

    -Dan
  4. by   live4today
    I find it rather fascinating to read the various post on this thread because I had no idea so many healthcare workers thought about or really had so much to say about religion. :uhoh21:

    Why do some healthcare workers feel offended when a patient ask about your chosen faith? If you are proud to have no faith, say so. If you are proud to be part of a certain faith, own it. What makes this topic get people all riled up?

    I ask in honesty, and NOT putting anyone down or to offend anyone. I just never thought so much about this topic as most of you seem to have based on what is written in each post.

    Thanks for sharing. And again......I'm curious.....not intended to offend anyone.
  5. by   callnurse45
    Quote from cheerfuldoer
    I find it rather fascinating to read the various post on this thread because I had no idea so many healthcare workers thought about or really had so much to say about religion. :uhoh21:

    Why do some healthcare workers feel offended when a patient ask about your chosen faith? If you are proud to have no faith, say so. If you are proud to be part of a certain faith, own it. What makes this topic get people all riled up?

    I ask in honesty, and NOT putting anyone down or to offend anyone. I just never thought so much about this topic as most of you seem to have based on what is written in each post.

    Thanks for sharing. And again......I'm curious.....not intended to offend anyone.
    It's not that I'm offended by the question, but want to avoid a discussion about it at the workplace. It's like discussing politics, it always turns into a debate. I personally believe that there are no rights or wrongs. Each religion possesses a piece of the truth leading to the same place.
  6. by   danu3
    Quote from cheerfuldoer
    I find it rather fascinating to read the various post on this thread because I had no idea so many healthcare workers thought about or really had so much to say about religion. :uhoh21:

    Why do some healthcare workers feel offended when a patient ask about your chosen faith? If you are proud to have no faith, say so. If you are proud to be part of a certain faith, own it. What makes this topic get people all riled up?
    From the posts here, it seemed that one is just "tired" of being asked ALL the time. The troubleing ones are not the patient who has no ill intent (as it is just part of breaking the ice), it is more the patients who are judgemental as if you are not a Christian, then you are either inferior or/and you are open season. Also as mentioned before, some people treat one's religion as extremely private (as private as whether one had sex last night as some posters mentioned; If a person's face turn bright red out of embarassment, you know it is private). Pure guess on my part.

    -Dan
  7. by   danu3
    Quote from AMY30
    I think this is the most appropriate answer. As a nursing student I was under the impression that holistic nursing included spirituality. It may not be to discuss your own but I think it is definitely beneficial to explore their spirituality because in many cases it is a source of strength. I am speaking as a mother, widow, friend and nurse.
    If I understand it correctly, nursing in general does take into the spiritual (not necessary religious) component of a person. Another thing that attracted me to nursing is that it involves the whole person - the biological, psychological, social, and the spiritual.

    In practice however, how much training in the spiritual area does the current nursing student really get? I mean I can see there is at least a chapter on spirituality in basic nursing books but what is it in practice?

    -Dan
  8. by   live4today
    Quote from callnurse45
    It's not that I'm offended by the question, but want to avoid a discussion about it at the workplace. It's like discussing politics, it always turns into a debate. I personally believe that there are no rights or wrongs. Each religion possesses a piece of the truth leading to the same place.
    Thank you "callnurse45" for sharing and helping me to understand a little better.
  9. by   VivaLasViejas
    Quote from callnurse45
    It's not that I'm offended by the question, but want to avoid a discussion about it at the workplace. It's like discussing politics, it always turns into a debate. I personally believe that there are no rights or wrongs. Each religion possesses a piece of the truth leading to the same place.
    Well put, callnurse! Bravo!! :yeahthat:
  10. by   danu3
    Quote from callnurse45
    It's not that I'm offended by the question, but want to avoid a discussion about it at the workplace. It's like discussing politics, it always turns into a debate. I personally believe that there are no rights or wrongs. Each religion possesses a piece of the truth leading to the same place.
    Hmmmm... that is why hospital have chaplains to discuss spiritual matters without turning it into a debate. As for political discussion, maybe we should have a on-staff politician to call in just like a chaplain.

    -Dan
  11. by   live4today
    Quote from danu3
    From the posts here, it seemed that one is just "tired" of being asked ALL the time. The troubleing ones are not the patient who has no ill intent (as it is just part of breaking the ice), it is more the patients who are judgemental as if you are not a Christian, then you are either inferior or/and you are open season. Also as mentioned before, some people treat one's religion as extremely private (as private as whether one had sex last night as some posters mentioned; If a person's face turn bright red out of embarassment, you know it is private). Pure guess on my part.

    -Dan
    Thanks Dan.

    When I work in California, I am never asked about my faith or if I attend a church, or if I believe in God........ When I work in the southern states, this is when the questions tend to come up the most in the workplace from some patients, and mostly staff I've worked with there. It's a cultural experience for sure.

    I'm not ashamed of my faith or beliefs, but ONLY when one of my patients ask what faith I am will I tell them. I tell them because they may be trying to find a way to connect to me as a person or as a nurse in some way. I don't know. I've never been offended by their questions, UNLESS they jump into a "brainwashing mode" on me.

    I don't talk about much of anything at work. Staff usually have to ask me questions to learn something about me.
  12. by   jolie chatte
    Quote from jeepgirl
    Question:
    "Are you saved?"


    Jeepgirl's Answer:
    "Why, are you going to get me out of this hellhole?"


    That is what I would want to say...

    ha! thats awesome.
  13. by   gwenith
    This question would rarely be asked here in Australia - just not culturally appropriate. You would get a better response asking someone what colour underwear they had on or whether they regularly washed thier underwear than asking if they "had been saved". Religion is considered to be an intensely personal thing. Oh! You can ask "What religion are you?" but you will be given a "look" before you are given an answer.

    Preaching in the workplace would be considered harrassment.

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