I am in my last (6th) week of orientation. Happy and terrified. Happy because I no longer have to work along side with my preceptor. Terrified because it's my last week he's still doing half of my patient care FOR me. Calling the doctor FOR me. not because I don't want to do it, but he just takes over. He even gets mad when I say I want to call and learn how to speak with the physicians. He then gives me a lecture me on how I don't delegate. It's his first time precepting, he just never learned to "let go". He sometimes will say "I am gonna let you do everything" at the beginning of the shift, but as soon as it gets busy he starts to take everything over!! He's a great nurse/co-worker to others(most of the time), but when it comes to being a preceptor, he turns into a complete different person! He's generally nice, and smiles but whenever he's with me - he never smiles. no kidding.
- He bosses me around instead of treating me like a co-worker and a nurse capable of making own decision when he's stressed. "Go do ____ right now" "No, stop that, go to room _____ right now".
- Constantly tell me "You need to be faster, I don't know how, but just be faster"
- Gets mad at me for taking time on looking up medication, not passing med fast enough and do my 3 check - he say it's waste of time to do that many check.
- Only answer question when he's in good mood, otherwise he will just say "you don't have time for this right now" and tell me to do something else.
- When we are in the patient's room, he'd boss me around, to a point my patient had to secretly ask me if he's my boss and "why is he bossing you around"...
- Today in morning round, our manager is there, so he starts to question me all these things he never asked me or talked to me about, in the past 6 week, he never does that, when I have question he doesn't explain, but he acts totally different in front of the manager, and it made me looked back because I didn't know how to answer some of the questions!
- When I offered to help a coworker out, he gets mad at me and wouldn't let me to do things for them even though I had time and already offered my help to my other coworkers. So that end up making me look bad.
- But he turns around and try to act like the most helpful person on the unit. I don't get it!!! I am not trying to compete with him but sometimes the way he does things just make him look like his insecure if I gain other people's approval and he tries to make me look bad.
- Today, we have a patient about to discharge. In front of other nurses, he said it loudly, "I am going to you do EVERYTHING by yourself, I am not going to do anything for you, I want you to focus on discharge and I will take care of everything else for you.
So go do the discharge, don't go to other patient's room!" It's not like I don't know how to do it or always ask him for help about discharge. I know how to do it, and I have done it! He just never let me finish the whole process by myself - he likes to take over the job and tell me to do other things. When he said it like this in front of all other nurses, I think it just made me look stupid as if I am slow, don't know how to do it.Anyway, since he didn't allow me to do anything else for my other patient. I focused on discharge. In the middle of it, I checked on one of my patient. He said he was going to give their medication and all, turned out NOTHING was given. 2 IV antibiotic are late, PO meds are late too. He end up didn't do anything other than taking vital sign for my other patient receiving transfusion. GOSH!!! It was already almost 1800. And 3 of my patient's 1700 medication is not given.
- He always does this, lack of communication, changes his mind constantly, sometimes he will say one thing, but do a complete opposite thing. Or sometimes I will discuss about the things we should bring up to the doctor, he will tell me "no, what's the point of saying that? Don't need it. don't say it" and the next thing you know, the doctor comes in - he goes up to the doctor and address the whatever I just discussed with him.
Anyway, he seem to be a helpful co worker, a good nurse. But just SUCKS at being a preceptor.He acts differently when he's in front of the doctors, nurses then when he's with me. The only reason I choose to stay with him is because I didn't want to cause drama and I know he's a good nurse. I still learn from him but mostly just secretly observing and taking notes. Talking to management is not an option because he just acts so differently in front of them than me. Management think he's doing a good job, and I doubt they will believe me if I mention all the things he's been doing.
anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I don't feel ready to be off orientation but have no choice, I guess I already have the worst planned - quit - if i feel this job is too much for me or if I am unsafe for my patient.