I HATE My Job - Why did I ever go into Nursing?

[EmilyLucille523]

As I write that title I have tears building up. I remember not so long ago when I prayed and so longed to get my first nursing job when it was so hard to get one last year. I begged and begged and begged...Huh! Be careful what you wish for.

I am on my 2nd nursing floor job in less than a year and now looking into switching again. I hate going to work, I dread it with a passion. My first job was on a cardiac unit. Now I work on a med/surg hospital floor 3rd shift with a 1:7 patient-ratio. How can I take care of my patients when I have 4 at the same time requesting pain meds and 2 very needy patients and 1 on a blood transfusion? I'm sick and tired of passing on report what I couldn't do or couldn't get done. I hate myself for not being a good nurse, for not being able to answer simple questions like "What was the patient's hemoglobin before transfusion?" because I didn't have time to look it up in the chart. I hate all the double documentation I have to do and how time consuming it is.

I hate these 12 hours shifts, especially when they turn into 13 - 15 hour shifts on a regular basis and missing out on another day with my kids. I don't even enjoy my days off because I'm so exhausted from working all those long nights that all I do is sleep and work, sleep and work, and sleep some more...I miss my kids! Then, I'm tired of using all of my patience at work that I don't have any left for my kids when I am at home. I hate blowing up at my husband because I'm so gosh-darned irritated all the time at home because I'm so frustrated from work.

Sometimes I cry in the shower when I'm getting ready to go to work. If I could turn back time, I would not have gone to nursing school. When I first thought of going into nursing, this is NOT what I imagined it would be. It is not as pretty as they picture it on the nursing commercials on TV. I thought it was about taking care of the patient, holding their hands, having a decent conversation with them. PLEASE!!! When's the last time you were able to do that when you have 9pm meds to pass in 30 minutes to 7 patients???!!! Never mind having to squeeze in an admision or 2 or transfer patients in and out. I want to be able to hold their hands, run my fingers through a patient's hair, listen to their stories, give them back rubs, and not be muttering under my breath "I got to get out of this room, I have too much to do!" What happened to actual nursing care??? It doesn't exist where I work. I hate my job so much that I even talked my oldest daughter out of becoming a nurse. Now she is thinking of being a Meteorologist and I'm supporting her in that decision 100%!

I hope to try a different nursing job, a different setting. If that don't work out either, I don't know what I will do. My husband keeps telling me that I went to nursing school so that is what I need to work as especially since I still owe student loans. If only I can turn back time...

Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who regrets this devined decision of being a nurse? Am I the only one crying on my way to work or crying on my way home after? Feeling overwhelmed at how bad of a nurse I feel? Someone told me that I hated my job so much becaused I cared too much that maybe I should look into doing 1:1 nursing care. Maybe she's right. Maybe I care too much. Maybe this is not what I was meant to do, but now I feel stuck...now what do I do?

I am :aln:???

[MassED, BSN, RN]

good grief!!!! I hope that you will sincerely take this advice here. It does get better. You will come to prioritize and manage your time and learn to let some stuff roll off your back. You may have not gotten to some things by the end of your shift, but that's ok. It's a 24 hour facility, so the next nurse can get on it. You are being so hard on yourself! When I worked on a floor, I would make sure I looked up pertinent information as soon as I got there. Find out pertinent lab work, previous vitals, blood sugars, diets, ambulation status, PT orders, etc. Once I had the big info, then I could start my day out with planning meds - the window is usually 30 minutes before to 30 minutes after. You need to enlist some help in those things that a nursing assistant can do for you - vitals, call lights for toileting, etc. You need to delegate. Realize what is the priority in that moment, inform your other patients what your plan is and then stick to it. Find out what other jobs are out there in your facility and then consider moving on in 6 months if it's just not getting any better. When I started out, I had a hard time adjusting to all of the little tasks and staying on task. It does get better. I promise. Mind you, I could never go back to working on a floor. The mundane tasks would make me lose my mind - passing meds, sticking to a med schedule, it's all trivial to me. Maybe you might want to transfer to an ER? Where you can seriously prioritize and juggle. Once you get prioritizing down, I'd recommend you to move on. But please keep your chin up and don't quit. It can be very rewarding.

[SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN]

good grief!!!! i hope that you will sincerely take this advice here. it does get better.............

i agree that things do get better, but it is only because it takes a while (a year or more) not to care too much about what nursing actually is vs. what we were taught in school, which helps with prioritizing and organizing patient care.

maybe you might want to transfer to an er? where you can seriously prioritize and juggle. once you get prioritizing down, i'd recommend you to move on. but please keep your chin up and don't quit. it can be very rewarding.

i do not suggest that the op tries the er. the op wants to actually hold hands (spend time) and care for patients. it is rare for er nurses to spend a lot of time with patients!!! even if we hold hands, we do this while eye-balling or thinking about other orders and talking to other health care personal on our phones or talking to them when they drop in the room.... thus, no one is ever able to get 100% of our attention unless he/she is dying.

[jjjoy, LPN]

Just wanted to chime in again that you're not alone in your feelings, OP. If you do a search through old posts, you'll see very similar sentiments, and more, come up again and again... dreading going back in, wanting to throw up daily, fantasizing accidents so one doesn't have to go to work...

I can't say what you should do - try to stick it out, try something else, etc... but I can say that what you're feeling doesn't mean you are especially unsuited for nursing or are just acting spoiled that nursing isn't just as you imagined and has some downsides. Your husband probably can't understand where you're at right now and may seem impatient or insensitive.

The first year of nursing for many does seem to be kind of like boot camp... like you're constantly being set up to fail and being torn down no matter how much progress you make. Just surviving IS good enough... patients make it through your shift, you don't get fired... and that IS good enough. You WILL be slow and you WILL make mistakes and you WILL be reprimanded. You will become faster and you WILL still be too slow and you WILL make some other mistakes and you WILL be reprimanded again. As long as your patients make it through and you don't get fired, though, you ARE being a successful new nurse.

And even if it came to your being asked to leave or your deciding to quit... that just means that *that* particular unit/manager/set of co-workers didn't suit your particular strengths and weaknesses. In other words, don't base a decision that 'nursing isn't for you' solely on how awful this job feels right now, or even if you quit or were asked to leave.

[itsmejuli]

Also, for some people, working overnight messes with their brains and bodies too much. Lack of sleep, poor nutrition and lack of exercise may be contributing to your stress.

Perhaps you can get switched over to day shift.

[raina08]

i don't really know if it does get easier. Ive been a nurse for 2 years now in a skilled facility my patient ratio is 1:18 and at least 2/3 of them are on vents or trached. I didn't start to feel really overwhelmed until just recently either im getting slower or the skill of the patient is becoming more in depth. Its becoming too much to handle as it is not uncommon to see 2 deaths or have 2 codes in one 12hr shift. I love my patients its just becoming more and more difficult to get done with my work and feel like i did a good job at it. I constantly analyze myself when i get home. I really hope it works out for you because im sure that we all went into nursing to help others not to get treated like crap and be understaffed Its really very sad that people that wanted to help others get worked to the point of burn out and taken advantage of. Dont give up find something you love and stick with it. Theres a million jobs to do as a nurse so dont be afraid to explore it a little .

[EmilyLucille523]

Hospice home care would be better, if you don't mind being on-call sometimes.

UPDATE: It's funny you should mention this because I recently accepted a salaried full-time Hospice job. It was my intention to do Hospice eventually after getting a few years of med-surg experience under my belt but I had a nervous breakdown at work last week and decided it was time to bolt. I also ended up taking it because at least I know I can depend on that income versus where I am now I get called off a lot from work due to low census. I am excited about the career change but at the same time scared and hope to be the best compassionate, caring Hospice nurse that I can be. Thank you for all your support!

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

I have to say when I worked hospice it was pretty crazy, 10:1 ratio. We ran all the time.

I was going to say, i work in an inpatient hospice facility and we are basically a med surgical floor .... but with extra psycho social responsibilities thrown in there. I really like my job, on my night shift i have 6-8 pts .......i have a cna that i partner with, and a charge nurse that will help us if we need it. but i find staying above water is about learning to manage your time effectively, plan ahead and be super organized . If i have 5 pts that need iv meds at 2 and 6 ...then i start giving those iv meds at 1 as well as any cares that are needed that way when 'pain crisis's ect...arise i have leeway so that every one gets there meds within the legal window and i don't have to rush so that i can take time and address issues in a relaxed manner for my patients so that they get the quality care i want to given them.

Hang in there. Maybe floor nursing isn't for you. A few of my friends work as case managers, another works as a school nurse. there are lots of jobs out there in the field of nursing that are very different from floor nursing.

[what was I thinking]

Just get out. Apply for a teaching job. You can teach clinicals or even classroom with a bsn. If not, do insurance nursing, nursing informatics, quality assurance, case management. DO NOT listen to these people telling you to stay in the field because it will get better. If you feel this way now, you will always feel this way. And it's ok. Just think of all of the hard work you had to go though in nursing school to get here. You need to be happy. And everyone has a different opinion on what happy is. Nursing sucks!!! Just get out and change your career if you have to. BTW I hate my nursing job too. But I'm back in school for something else and happy about it.

[ToughLover]

I hear you. I don't know how many times recently I've said I hate my job!! I just started my first job in the ICU where the ratio is 2:1 but let me tell you...it's SO hard! I'm always asking people "how do you handle both patients??" It doesn't seem like a lot but when both your patients are on 8 drips and have to go to CT and the doctors come in all day long and write new orders but you're too busy to grab the chart and look at it...you catch my drift. I am constantly regretting my decision to become a nurse and am always thinking of what else I could do. I see the xray techs and physical therapists and think "why didn't I do that? That looks so much easier!" I just feel like i need to stick it out to get the experience and then I plan on leaving ASAP.

[saniLPN]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with work like that!! I'm an LPN in a dementia/psych unit, and I have 24 residents so I can relate for sure! How I overcame the issues your dealing with is by following advice from my nursing instructors. I've been licensed for 10 months & most of my employees think I've been licensed for years! What they dont know wont hurt them!! LOL!! They explained that everything they were teaching me is the absolute "right & perfectly correct", "by the book" way to proceed as a nurse. They also explained that in real life, if you function that way all of the time, you wont be able to complete all of your work. They told us to use nursing judgement & prioritize. For example, I multi-task all shift, along with a few other short cuts I use while still maintaining paitient safety. I hope this helps a little, Oh, and self help nursing books!!

[jess477]

I am a new grad as well and new to this website, so I apologize if I hijack your help for a minute.. the instructions told me to try to use a thread already started instead of a new one..

I am also feeling pretty hopeless with my new job. I could not even get a hospital job to begin with and took a job in sub-acute rehab/LTC. I am struggling very much with a 2 week orientation and 20 patients I am responsible for. They are fairly acute, too much so for a 20:1 ratio. I am terrified everyday that something will happen to a patient or I will lose my license for something.. I feel like a fish out of water. On top of it, I work 3-11 most nights of the week and miss my husband terribly. I almost feel like I am losing myself..

I'm not sure what to do... I have only been at my job for a little over 2 months.. I am thinking that maybe a clinic job, school nurse or something similar might be a better fit for me, but feel like I will not be able to get one because I have no experience. I am in MA and the jobs are tight.. just like everywhere else I guess.. A question I have is whether or not I should even try to apply to another job now.. and if I do, should I even list my current job on my resume?

I have been trying to get used to the job but I cry everyday before I go to work, the nurses gossip, the DNS obsesses over paperwork instead of patient care.. it just doesn't seem like the environment I want to work in. I don't even mind being paid a little less.. it is worth my sanity..

[Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN]

Just get out. Apply for a teaching job. You can teach clinicals or even classroom with a bsn. If not, do insurance nursing, nursing informatics, quality assurance, case management. DO NOT listen to these people telling you to stay in the field because it will get better. If you feel this way now, you will always feel this way. And it's ok. Just think of all of the hard work you had to go though in nursing school to get here. You need to be happy. And everyone has a different opinion on what happy is. Nursing sucks!!! Just get out and change your career if you have to. BTW I hate my nursing job too. But I'm back in school for something else and happy about it.

I have to disagree with much of this

1) If you hate nursing, please do not teach it. It shows.

2) DO listen to the people telling you to stay in the field...it CAN get better! You may not always feel the same way. You may just need to change specialties and find your niche. I could have written the OP myself as a new grad, until a School Nurse position fell into my lap and I took it, despite my reservations that I needed more time in the hospital. I could not be happier now. I actually get to give nursing care, the kind that the OP longs for! I am the NURSE, not a task-master or pill pusher. 7 hour days, weekends and holidays off and a 2 1/2 month summer break doesn't hurt either! Just don't give up until you have exhausted the possibilities in nursing. If you have tried several different settings and still hate nursing, by all means bow out, but give it a fighting chance!

3) Nursing does not suck. Some shifts suck, some facilities suck, and by all means some nurses suck, but NURSING itself is what you make of it

Not trying to pick on you, "What I was Thinking", and I am glad you are moving on to greener pastures (which hopefully will, indeed, be greener), but I would hate to think the OP might take your advice to heart and get out before truly giving it a chance. If I had taken your advice, I would have missed out on my calling in life, a wonderful job and balanced home life, and "my" kids would have missed out on a terrific school nurse!