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I HATE My Job - Why did I ever go into Nursing?

First Year   (42,308 Views 27 Comments)
by EmilyLucille523 EmilyLucille523 (New Member) New Member

EmilyLucille523 works as a OBGYN Unit.

6,087 Visitors; 196 Posts

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As I write that title I have tears building up. I remember not so long ago when I prayed and so longed to get my first nursing job when it was so hard to get one last year. I begged and begged and begged...Huh! Be careful what you wish for.

I am on my 2nd nursing floor job in less than a year and now looking into switching again. I hate going to work, I dread it with a passion. My first job was on a cardiac unit. Now I work on a med/surg hospital floor 3rd shift with a 1:7 patient-ratio. How can I take care of my patients when I have 4 at the same time requesting pain meds and 2 very needy patients and 1 on a blood transfusion? I'm sick and tired of passing on report what I couldn't do or couldn't get done. I hate myself for not being a good nurse, for not being able to answer simple questions like "What was the patient's hemoglobin before transfusion?" because I didn't have time to look it up in the chart. I hate all the double documentation I have to do and how time consuming it is.

I hate these 12 hours shifts, especially when they turn into 13 - 15 hour shifts on a regular basis and missing out on another day with my kids. I don't even enjoy my days off because I'm so exhausted from working all those long nights that all I do is sleep and work, sleep and work, and sleep some more...I miss my kids! Then, I'm tired of using all of my patience at work that I don't have any left for my kids when I am at home. I hate blowing up at my husband because I'm so gosh-darned irritated all the time at home because I'm so frustrated from work.

Sometimes I cry in the shower when I'm getting ready to go to work. If I could turn back time, I would not have gone to nursing school. When I first thought of going into nursing, this is NOT what I imagined it would be. It is not as pretty as they picture it on the nursing commercials on TV. I thought it was about taking care of the patient, holding their hands, having a decent conversation with them. PLEASE!!! When's the last time you were able to do that when you have 9pm meds to pass in 30 minutes to 7 patients???!!! Never mind having to squeeze in an admision or 2 or transfer patients in and out. I want to be able to hold their hands, run my fingers through a patient's hair, listen to their stories, give them back rubs, and not be muttering under my breath "I got to get out of this room, I have too much to do!" What happened to actual nursing care??? It doesn't exist where I work. I hate my job so much that I even talked my oldest daughter out of becoming a nurse. Now she is thinking of being a Meteorologist and I'm supporting her in that decision 100%!

I hope to try a different nursing job, a different setting. If that don't work out either, I don't know what I will do. My husband keeps telling me that I went to nursing school so that is what I need to work as especially since I still owe student loans. If only I can turn back time...

Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who regrets this devined decision of being a nurse? Am I the only one crying on my way to work or crying on my way home after? Feeling overwhelmed at how bad of a nurse I feel? Someone told me that I hated my job so much becaused I cared too much that maybe I should look into doing 1:1 nursing care. Maybe she's right. Maybe I care too much. Maybe this is not what I was meant to do, but now I feel stuck...now what do I do?

I am :aln:???

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iNurseUK has 20 years experience and works as a Sister of Oncology Ward.

6,228 Visitors; 348 Posts

I'm sorry you are going through this bad patch.

I've been qualified many years and I have had jobs that made me want to quit with issues just such as the ones you are experiencing. I loved my original job and only moved because the unit was shut down. I then went to a terrible hospital and worked on a variety of different wards.

I tell you I was ready to wear a cardboard hat and work in Hamburger Hell rather than work in that hell-hole any longer. Luckily for me a position came up where I now work and I quickly rediscovered my love of nursing.

Perhaps you would enjoy ITU or HDU where the ratio is 2:1 at the most? Or perhaps something like hospice nursing where your caring nature could find expression?

I know it is easy for someone not going through it to say but don't give up. I firmly beleive that the nursing field is broad enough for every nurse to find an area he or she will enjoy.

Best of luck to you and I hope something will suit you.

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NC Girl BSN works as a Neuroscience Staff Nurse.

13,092 Visitors; 1,845 Posts

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Your patient ratio is INSANE!!!!! Where do you live? I work in a big hospital in Raleigh NC and the max load we have is 5. You are feeling this way because they are overworking you. My friend works about an hour away from me in a smaller hospital and she has 7 patients at night. So I guess it depends on the instituation.Try to find a job with smaller ratio. Don't give up on nursing. Its not the career, its your JOB! Take care and I hope you find something better.

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3,303 Visitors; 194 Posts

I feel very much like you :(, I should show my husband your post so he can see what other nurses feel like. I have only been a nurse for about 5 months, I was hoping by a couple years I would get used to the grind. Have you considered ICU or stepdown nursing, where the nurse-patient ratio is more reasonable? I could have up to 9 pts, which I think is insane and unsafe. So far I've had 8 and managed to keep my head above water, but didn't feel like the pts were getting the best care. I am not working on a unit that I have a lot of interest in, at this point I consider it new nurse boot camp where I'm training and paying my dues. I hope I can find a different unit or hospital where I am happier, with better ratios and staffing. Some days are okay, some are awful.

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3,237 Visitors; 75 Posts

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Your patient ratio is INSANE!!!!! Where do you live? I work in a big hospital in Raleigh NC and the max load we have is 5. You are feeling this way because they are overworking you. My friend works about an hour away from me in a smaller hospital and she has 7 patients at night. So I guess it depends on the instituation.Try to find a job with smaller ratio. Don't give up on nursing. Its not the career, its your JOB! Take care and I hope you find something better.

We have a 6:1 most nights and 7:1 also at my hosp.

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1,691 Visitors; 44 Posts

I feel the same way. I work at a LTC Rehab facility on their med surg floor. I currently have 15 patients but Im also responsible for two other units that are run by LPNs. I am in way over my head and no amount of asking for help or extra training is being acknowledged by my supervisors.

Today Im heading into work and my stomach is in knots. I hate my job. Love my patients, but hate my job. I feel boxed in because nobody is hiring new grads. I too wonder what I was thinking by doing this.

I do have good days, but lately it seems like it is all bad days. Im sorry your going through this :(

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AprilRNurse has 3 years experience.

3,566 Visitors; 186 Posts

That staffing ratio is insane...no wonder you're ready to quit. On evenings we only ever get 4 alone, or 5-6 WITH an RN/LPN working together. Overnights we get 6-7 for each RN...and then an LPN floats and helps us.

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2,378 Visitors; 30 Posts

Have you thought about long-term care? Look for facilities that have around 1 nurse to 20 patients max. It is very manageable after a couple of months. Some facilities have 1 nurse to 30 patients in LTC facilities and I can only imagine how difficult that is. Good luck.

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HeartsOpenWide works as a "Birth Center" Staff Nurse.

2 Articles; 26,379 Visitors; 2,889 Posts

that is a crazy ratio. I work OB but I have friends that work M/S and the max is 5 here in California (granted we do not have LVNs and very little CNAs) and they say they can not imagine having more than 5 patients.

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chevyv has 20+ years experience and works as a Behavioral Health.

16,848 Visitors; 1,644 Posts

I'm so sorry but can also relate! Have you considered a switch to Correctional nursing or maybe Hospice? Something with a little slower pace? That just sounds like hell. I landed a job in behavioral health and the pace is erratic. I may be in charge of 24 but I have a lpn passing most meds, cna's, and security. When 1 person goes off many follow but other nights I sit for a long time wondering if there's anything I could do to help time go by. Before this I was in ltc and ran all night plus stayed after for charting. I was exhausted. Now I pretty much get out on time unless I have a fall at the end of shift. I wish you the best. I know it's difficult to find a new job but maybe just start looking if things continue on the way they are.

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3,237 Visitors; 75 Posts

I'm so sorry but can also relate! Have you considered a switch to Correctional nursing or maybe Hospice? Something with a little slower pace? That just sounds like hell. I landed a job in behavioral health and the pace is erratic. I may be in charge of 24 but I have a lpn passing most meds, cna's, and security. When 1 person goes off many follow but other nights I sit for a long time wondering if there's anything I could do to help time go by. Before this I was in ltc and ran all night plus stayed after for charting. I was exhausted. Now I pretty much get out on time unless I have a fall at the end of shift. I wish you the best. I know it's difficult to find a new job but maybe just start looking if things continue on the way they are.

I have to say when I worked hospice it was pretty crazy, 10:1 ratio. We ran all the time.

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3,303 Visitors; 194 Posts

I have to say when I worked hospice it was pretty crazy, 10:1 ratio. We ran all the time.

Hospice home care would be better, if you don't mind being on-call sometimes.

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