*Desperately need some advice - I hate my new job*

[shellybean]

I apologize in advance, this is a long one - but I would really appreciate some advise from anyone who might be able to offer it. I am a new nurse. Before graduating from school I was working as a nurse tech on a specialty floor that I knew I wanted a career in. I was offered a position and I was thrilled beyond belief! Unfortunately after many long sleepless nights of talking, my husband and I agreed he would accept a position out of state that was his dream job. After all - he supported me through four LONG years full of tears, crying, stress, tests and clinicals - I could allow him to follow his dream now, right? I am a nurse - I can get a job anywhere. So I sadly declined, and had to put in my notice. My manager was great about it - she told me if we ever moved back I would always have a job there.

Well - long story short - we moved back. I called when we made the decision to move back - only to find out they had just hired 3 nurses a couple weeks before. There were no open positions. She said to keep checking the open positions posted on line and apply as soon as one came up, and that one would be opening very soon. I kept checking - but there was nothing. Finally after a few weeks I needed to work and the nurse recruiter found a position for me that she said would be great. I applied - had a series of 4 interviews and got the position. Now - during all my interviews I was asked why I was not going back to my original floor. I was very honest and said it was because there were no openings - I explained that is my passion and where I see my career going...

So now here I am today. I had my first day on the floor yesterday. I have never had to leave a patients room to vomit. Before yesterday. It was terrible. I nearly lost it 4 times and the last time did it. Please let me say I know how blessed I am to have a job. So many do not... but I did no go to school for a "job", I went for a career. I hate the floor I was hired on to. The staff is great. The manager is incredible. The unit however - is the worst I have ever been on. It could not be any further from where I want to be. I hate every minute of it. I left in tears. I cried all night. My eyes are welling right now thinking about it. I just don't know what to do. I know the patients here need and deserve kind and compassionate care - not someone who vomits while providing care they desperately need. It's pretty obvious to me I am just not the right person for this job. I am getting sick just thinking of what I saw and had to do today. I hate it. So much. I don't know how I am going to be able to get through 6 months of this so I can transfer within the hospital.

I ran into my old manager today... she asked my why I never applied to the TWO positions that were posted for her floor!! I told her I checked every day and it was never posted. She went and checked on her computer and sure enough - there were 2 positions posted - but they were only posted internally even though it was supposed to be posted to the public as well. I started to cry. All I want is to go back there - and stay there! Even though our hospital has a '6 month period before you can transfer' policy, she told me to apply anyway, call the nurse recruiter and explain how I feel (this area is my passion, and where my future is headed) and also to have her call her so they could talk. She said it probably won't change anything - but she is willing to try.

Has anyone gone through something like this? Has anyone been able to change floors right after being hired in? I am imagining the worst - if I am unable to move - I am going to have to stay on this floor and my manager will probably hate me after all this. It came down to me and 2 other RN's and they offered the position to me. If this blows up in my face it could make the next six months even worse than it will be now. Should I just start applying to other hospitals and leave the one I'm at? I can't imagine they would rather lose an employee than let them transfer, but I know rules are rules. Any thoughts?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[Marshall1]

Am not sure what you got physically ill..just the stress I guess...if your former manager told you to apply/go to the Nurse Recruiter etc - then do it. If they are not willing to change their 6 month policy then it doesn't make sense to go somewhere else for 5 more months then try to come back to this place to go back to your dream job unit - if you can't move now & have to wait the 5 months it would make it easier to transfer to where you want to be then to leave and return. It cost, from what HR at the former hospital I worked at, said about 6K depending to bring a new hire in - if you left, came back and left again they would be hesitant to hire you again I'd think - regardless of the reason. So, do as your former manager said and see where it goes. If the unit you are on is REALLY that intolerable & there would be no way you could manage it until the 6 months transfer rule then that is something to think about but for now..one step at a time.

[FlorenceNtheMachine]

Advice, stick it out and be a big grown boring adult. You might love it, even that dream job will have the days where you want to puke. Tell your old manager, you feel obligated to serve at least 6 months in your new job before transferring, and then re-assess the situation after that time.

I really feel for you, I have days where I want to cry and find a M-F 7-3 job, and damn everything else. But they pass. Like everything.

[enchantmentdis, BSN, RN]

Sounds like the OP may be pregant, or suffering PMS? That may be the reason for the tears/vomiting. Or she may be "dramatic".

[BSNbeauty, BSN, RN]

OP, I was in a similiar position not too long ago. I applied to a hospital for my "dream" job. The nurse recruiter said there were no openings in the floor I wanted to work on and offered me a position in the ED. While on orientation, I spoke to the NM for Post partum and told her about my passion to work on her unit. She told me to wait until my 6 months is up in the ED and put in for a transfer. I was so syked! I was like, sure I can make it 6 months in the ED. Well, I was wrong. It was a living HELL for me. Every night I was paranoid, scared, the pace was too fast, not knowing what was coming through the doors, having to deal with traumas, and violent alcoholics. I was done. I cried everyday. I felt guilty for feeling this way because I worked with such nice people. Everyone was great and helpful.

However, after 30 days I left, and applied at another hospital and was hired into the specialty I originally wanted.

I'm not advising you to quit, I think you should hang in there. Should you leave before being able transfer, just know that you are not the only one who has went that route.

Keep us posted on what ever you decide.

[BSNbeauty, BSN, RN]

I disagree. I've felt the same as her and no, I was not pregnant or suffering PMS. Everyone handles stress and anxiety differently.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I have days where I want to cry and find a M-F 7-3 job, and damn everything else. But they pass. Like everything.

^ Yes

It takes at least 6 + months to get adjusted to any new setting. I absolutely LOVE my job, I have wanted to and have cried, including this week-total disaster this week. I know it will pass, and I know what it will take for it to pass.

I have been in positions where I wanted to stay or get a certain position. I even had to leave a great job because they didn't hire LPNs. I went on to have a great career, learning many nursing disciplines before going back to get my BSN.

Like another poster commented about internal happiness-

If you are honestly happy being a nurse FIRST, I am sure, regardless of what specialty you work in, you will be able to be successful at your current position, and learn and expand your practice. Sometimes life also gives us the chance to learn something about who you truly are...you may think that your previous position was a "dream" but your niche and expertise is at this current position and unit, and may be a place that may make you stronger in your practice.

You may return to your "dream" unit more prepared and have better skill sets, or on to bigger better things. Nursing can be very fluid. I can honestly say I am NO WHERE where I initially wanted to be, and enjoyed each "stop" that has made me a better nurse, even the bad days and the days with tears.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Did you work as a nurse while you & your husband had relocated? If so, that was not the *dream* unit with the *dream* manager, right? And yet you got through it.

While I cannot possibly know whether or not strings will be pulled or rules will be bent to allow you to transfer to your desired unit quickly, I can confidently tell you one thing: you WILL be miserable every day that you work if you don't emotionally detach yourself from the dream and engage yourself fully in the work you're doing right now.

And consider this, too: over time, people, unit structures, patient populations and hospital priorities evolve. The *dream* unit today may very well not be the dream unit 10 years from now. If your job satisfaction comes 100% from external factors ... you may find yourself perpetually or perennially dissatisfied.

Good luck to you.

^ Yes!!!

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Sounds like the OP may be pregant or suffering PMS? That may be the reason for the tears/vomiting. Or she may be "dramatic".[/quote']

^WOW...just wow...

[enchantmentdis, BSN, RN]

^WOW...just wow...

wow...just wow...

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I don't know how you can tell you hate your job after just one day. If the manager and coworkers are great, it sounds like a great job. Suck it up, learn all you can and then see where you are in six months. Could be that THIS is your dream job, if you just let yourself experience it. Or maybe not. But if you've got to work where you are for six months, you might as well make up your mind to enjoy it as much as you can. And that IS a choice.

[serenitylove14]

I started a position in a State Psych Hospital last Monday and already know it is not for me. I loved Psych and all the Psych patients I had at clinicals, but just not at this capacity. I dont like constantly worrying if someones gonna try to hit me or kill me or have a weapon brought in from a family member. Its just not a safe environment and not very secure. I have accepted a position at the local VA on med surg. I worked in a ICU as a tech for 3 years and I am really missing that environment right now. Im hoping the med surg will make me feel back to normal because Psych is not for me. Also I guess ER isnt either lol. So in my short nursing career I realize Psych, ER, and Burn are not for my personality. Maybe you are realizing it too. Try looking for another position elsewhere. Life is too short to be unhappy.

[TopazLover, BSN, RN]

I feel I am suffering from a lack of information. Did I read that what the OP saw made her feel sick? My immediate thought was some sort of cancer or trauma area. I did not catch what type of area was the dream area. I think those two factors may have some relevance in the decision. After many GI bleeds I still wanted to vomit every time I smelled that smell as I cleaned up a code brown of black tar. If I had to do that every day for 6 months, I know I could not. If it is just so different from the previous area give it time.

I once took a job and a week later my "dream job" was posted. I applied and was told I was not eligible due to the 6 months rule. I ended up loving my job. It was a much better job for me that what I thought was the dream job.

The old pro and con list will help identify things you can handle for 6 months and things that are not in your make up.

Good luck sorting.