What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 17

and do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More

  1. by   babs_rn
    Here's another one...

    20 y/o "Buffy" type sorority girl at an area university, comes in with the c/o "A bump down there and its tender", hx present x 2 mos.

    External exam by the doc reveals nothing unusual or abnormal, as he palpates around she suddenly says "that's IT!"

    He palpates again. "this?" he asked, with a slight flitter with his finger to make sure he was correct (never mind the WAY that happened)..

    "yes, that" was the answer

    He sat back, removed his gloves, took a deep breath, and said with every amount of composure he could muster...

    "that's your CLITORIS. That's SUPPOSED to be there."

    All I could think was...God bless her, some poor guy finally found it.

  2. by   Mander2
    While working as an ER Tech we had a pt come to the ER via ambulance for.... A sore throat!

    Also had a guy present with 3rd degree burns on the back of his legs due to jumping through a fire at a party b/c his friends did it! Good thing they didn't jump from a bridge!

    A group of 15-16 yos brought in their 13 yo old friend who was extremely intoxicated! They were afraid he was poisoned or something, however we just kept him comfortable while he puked.
    Last edit by Mander2 on Jan 14, '05 : Reason: another one
  3. by   LPN1974
    Quote from babs_rn
    Here's another one...

    20 y/o "Buffy" type sorority girl at an area university, comes in with the c/o "A bump down there and its tender", hx present x 2 mos.

    External exam by the doc reveals nothing unusual or abnormal, as he palpates around she suddenly says "that's IT!"

    He palpates again. "this?" he asked, with a slight flitter with his finger to make sure he was correct (never mind the WAY that happened)..

    "yes, that" was the answer

    He sat back, removed his gloves, took a deep breath, and said with every amount of composure he could muster...

    "that's your CLITORIS. That's SUPPOSED to be there."

    All I could think was...God bless her, some poor guy finally found it.

    OMG! I believe that's the funniest story I've ever heard.
    I had to go the ER one night for something that seems a little ridiculous.
    One night, while I was asleep, and I turned over in my bed, my thumb caught a loose piece of wood on the head board of my bed.
    That small piece of wood got jammmed up my fingernail about halfway.
    Oh, God, help me, I was miserable.
    My thumb started to ache and throb.
    I was supposed to work the next day, and this was about 1 or 2am.
    I thought, now, this is ridculous, I've got to get some sleep. I lay back down and tried to go back to sleep, but I could NOT sleep.
    I knew I would not get any relief until I got that wood splinter out of my fingernail, so I got up and went to the emergency room.
    They had to give me about 4 to 5 shots of local anesthetic in my thumb to get it dead, in order to pull it out.
    I had a thumb for a couple of days that looked like it had been hit with a hammer, but oh, did it feel better!
    Oh, yeah, I called in and explained to my DON and I got to stay home that day!
    And I got rid of that particular bedroom set, too.
  4. by   foofoo
    ok, I'll tell on myself but.... at least I did have the excuse of being extremely young and naive. I had my son very young and was a single mom. When he was about 4 yrs. old (he's 28 now), he came to me saying "mama, somethings wrong with my weewee. It's too big." Well, I look and his poor "weewee" was swollen horribly, it looked like his fist instead of a penis! Horrified, I throw him in the car and make a mad dash to the hospital, just imaging the whole way that it was going to explode or something. By the way, all this time he's not c/o of pain, just getting scared because of my panic. I rush in the ED, finally get seen.......then the Doc, trying very hard to keep a straight face but failing miserably tells me that it's just a chigger. Not being a boy myself and not having a husband, I didn't know that it sometimes affects little boys like that. I felt like a total idiot, wanted to crawl out the door.

    P.S. by the way, for anyone not acquainted with the chigger, it is a teeny, tiny little insect that burrows into your skin, very irritating to your skin and itches worse than anything you can imagine, but not dangerous.
  5. by   Stitchie
    Quote from foofoo
    ok, I'll tell on myself but.... at least I did have the excuse of being extremely young and naive. I had my son very young and was a single mom. When he was about 4 yrs. old (he's 28 now), he came to me saying "mama, somethings wrong with my weewee. It's too big." Well, I look and his poor "weewee" was swollen horribly, it looked like his fist instead of a penis! Horrified, I throw him in the car and make a mad dash to the hospital, just imaging the whole way that it was going to explode or something. By the way, all this time he's not c/o of pain, just getting scared because of my panic. I rush in the ED, finally get seen.......then the Doc, trying very hard to keep a straight face but failing miserably tells me that it's just a chigger. Not being a boy myself and not having a husband, I didn't know that it sometimes affects little boys like that. I felt like a total idiot, wanted to crawl out the door.

    P.S. by the way, for anyone not acquainted with the chigger, it is a teeny, tiny little insect that burrows into your skin, very irritating to your skin and itches worse than anything you can imagine, but not dangerous.
    Yes, but there is a serious condition which causes swelling in young boy's penises that can cause permanent damage...I've treated a case or two in very young infants (<6 months old) and it can be both painful and cause permanant damage. If anyone knows the name of this particular condition and would remind me I'd be grateful. I can say that I've never seen male docs get so worked up about something like a little boy's penis swollen on one end and normal on the 'business end'. Wish they'd get that excited about our women coming in for ovarian cysts and m/c's.
  6. by   Stitchie
    OK, some of you know that my husband and I have finally completed our adoption from Poland and now have two 14 month old baby girls at home. We have a very good friend of ours from England who has been staying at our house and taking care of the fur-kitties, house stuff, etc., and generally being a great help. Well, on Dec 23, when we had my family's Christmas celebration (since we had to fly to Warsaw on Christmas day) our good friend breaks out a bottle of Chopin Vodka (did I mention I am not a huge drinker? If not, this is the exception which proves the rule...) All the adult raise their glasses and give their best wishes for a safe journey and return for us. That was a third of the bottle.

    The remaining two-thirds of the bottle sat between my DH, me, and our friend Tony -- only to be downed one shot after another. Well, my DH, being sensible, said 'goodnite' at a reasonable hour leaving my English drinking buddy and me to finish the bottle...which we did...and oh my...I don't think I've ever been that drunk before. Falling down drunk. Have-to-do-something-important-by-the-front-door drunk, and running into a marble mantlepiece.

    WELL, that mantlepiece left quite an impression on my ample behind. Three days later, when we're at the Embassy in Warsaw, I suddenly can't bear weight on my right side. My leg was just buckling and I'm thinking, crap, sacrum fx or small pelvic fx or acetabulum fx (yes, I hit the floor that hard). The doc in Poland was so, so nice. After he talked to me about follow up care and what to do on the next day's 10 hour flight (lots of fluids, valium, diclofenac, walk around the airplane (prescription for 'laps' every half hour). He didn't even lecture me about my incredible inebriation, but he did get a good laugh at what my story was. And yes, he was perfectly professional, even cracking up when I told him there was something important that had to be taken care of RIGHT THEN.

    So not exactly an ER story, but this was Poland's version of urgent care, and it was stupid on my part. My rear end is healing nicely now and I only get a muscle twinge when I'm sitting too long and have to run after the little ones.
  7. by   nursepotter05
    Quote from Tink RN
    I think one of the most rediculous was for a pregnancy test. Min cost of $500.00 for the ER visit when they could have bought one at Walmart for like $7! Or even have one done free at the health dept ... I'm sure that bill didn't get paid anyway.
    I work at pediatric ed and we have teenagers that come in for pregnancy tests all the time!! So frustrating!!!
  8. by   babs_rn
    what is a DH?
  9. by   HappyNurse2005
    what is a DH?
    often used internet abbreviation for "dear (or damn) husband". i see it quite frequently, as its easier then typing out "my husband", etc. DD is used for dear/damn daughter, DS for son.
  10. by   jmc
    Quote from MarySunshine
    um, had he really cut off his penis or was she just a little kooky?
    OH YES, HE HAD. HE WAS THE ONE "KOOKY". HE THOUGHT IT (PENIS) WAS TRYING TO ATTACK HIM. :imbar
  11. by   ldynwht
    Mom brings in child with a rash, child carrying a cage. I ask whats in the cage, SNAKES!! Yep thats right, SNAKES! I flip out but manage to ask why they brought snakes. Mom says child has been playing with the baby snakes and now has a rash. OK then, whats does she want me to do, run allergy tests on the snakes!
  12. by   vortex72
    True story, I saw the Xray.

    Man presented to ER hunched over and in great pain. Asked for a male nurse(my friend got him that night, I was up in NICU) Man had lodged a 12inch pleasuring device in his colon. The pleasuring device was complete with a fake scrotum. Apparently, the man frequently put the device into his colon but normally was able to expel it after his "session" was finished. This time it got lodged. In fact, it was lodged so tightly that he ended up in surgery to have it removed abdominally and needed a colostomy. The resident showed me the xray. The device was all the way up to his thoracic spine! It must have been hitting the transverse colon. Funniest part of the story is that the when the resident checked in on the surgery, he saw the prissy female resident surgeon pulling this giant black device out of this mans belly. He said it was quite a sight!
  13. by   RNCENCCRNNREMTP
    Quote from TNnurse05
    I work at pediatric ed and we have teenagers that come in for pregnancy tests all the time!! So frustrating!!!
    And you are under no obligation to do them, unless of course their chief complaint is abdominal pain, then you have to r/o an ectopic. EMTALA only requires a screening exam. If a teeny bopper comes in and says they want a preg test, have the doc screen them and give them directions to nearest drug store for an over the counter test.

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