What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

Ya know--this almost seems reasonable, when you consider that they are on a fixed income and struggling with poverty (I know, I KNOW, there are the ones that are struggling with the choice of whether to buy crack or cigarettes, not how to stretch a loaf of bread and a can of tomato soup to feed 5 kids.....)

Medicaid should change the co-pays like HMOs do: my own (Kaiser) charges a $5.00 co-pay to see your PCP. Go to the ER though, and you must pay $50.00. Makes one think twice about abusing the system, or it certainly should.

When I was in the Navy in the '70s, , and people used the ER as a convenience clinic (mostly dependents and their babies for "fever and vomiting"--never active duty people, who could be on their deathbeds before they'd see a doc--) they put up a sign one year that said:

"Is this a TRUE EMERGENCY?"
It then listed various TRUE EMERGENCIES.
Last line said, "If this was a TRUE EMERGENCY--You would not have had time to stop and read this sign."

Sure enough, people who read it (not all, mind you, but a fair number) looked at each other, turned around and left, apparently realizing that they should call and schedule an appointment during regular clinic hours, instead.

Don't know if that would work in today's health care arena, but might be worth a try.

I had a stone removed when I was 21 that I couldn't pass and the horror of it all is that they had to take the stone out through cystoscopy and to this day I still have stress incontinence (with sneezing and coughing). I had two other stones, the next at 23 and then at 25...fortunetatly i was able to pass those as they were smaller. Now they do this great thing called lithotripsy.....thank goodness I haven't had anymore yet....the worst pain in my life. I've been drinking a lot more water every day and I think this has helped.

Ya know, when I first read this one I thought...man what are people thinking!?
But at least they are "lay people"...

Had one of our attendings come down last week...
Asked if we had "Tetanus...and those other shots" (and those would be....?)

I said, yea, we have Tetanus...did you get hurt?
I thought maybe he wanted a "free" TD...but "those other shots"???

Oh no...he's not hurt...

His kid is going back to school...

Can we give him his boosters...and will the ER doc sign his physical?
And his sports physical form?

Are ya kiddin' me or what!!!!!????!!

My favorite "brainiacs" are the self inflicted wrist lac's that come in the ED and ask "will it hurt when the doctor sews this back up?" And will he please numb it first?

Can not forget the drug seekers that come in and tell you flat out that they are allergic to everything, except...NARCOTICS (BIG SHOCKER!!!)

Then you always have the "I only had 2-3 beers story, and their ETOH is 296. The chest pains that have never used drugs but show positive for cocaine, benzos and pot.

I am sure all ED's are similar when it comes to "ridiculous visits". What is so upsetting is that it takes away time from patients that are truly sick and need help.

A few weeks ago, we had a young guy walk into triage at 0300 stating that he just left another nearby hospital because he was waiting 4 hours, and that he was "severely injured" and needed to be seen right away. This guy proceedes to tell the triage nurse that he was walking down the street after leaving a restaraunt with his girlfriend and "some guy" just walked up to him and punched him in the face. He says "I fell down so, according to my girlfriend who is a med student, I must have a subdural hematoma". (Guy denies even hitting his head, but says "I must have a brain bleed if I got punched and lost my balance"!) This guy had absolutely NOTHING on his face or his head, nor had any scratches on him at all. Not even a hair out of place. This guy just kept rambling on and on about "the bleed in his brain" ect, when the triage nurse went to our "No BS" attending and told him to quickly see this guy so we dont have to fully triage and treat him. This guy then starts to tell the attending the story, when the attending cuts him off and asks his only question he needs to know: "why did you get punched out?". The guy becomes insulted and then starts to yell, when the attending then says "now I see why you got punched out". Takes a quick look at the back of the guys head, sees that there is nothing there and tells him to get the hell out of his ER.

When I heard all of this happen, I swear, I almost peed my pants!!!

Broken nail. 20 year old, broke her nail on a desk at college. Called the ambulance, and they had someone transport her private vehicle to the ED.

Swear to god.

But were you able to save the nail?

Seriously, though, don't ambulance drivers have the authority to refuse to transport people who obviously don't need it?

I may have posted this before...so sorry if I did!

20-ish female...
Transported to ED by rescue...
CC...



Cut herself shaving.


Swear.
No One could make this stuff up.


Primary assessment?
Couldn't even find the scratch.

The setting three am Sunday morning. A middle aged female presents to the ED.
Chief Complaint Headache.
How long have you had this headache I asked. "all my Life " was the reply. What made it different tonight,what made you decide to come in to the ED<I asked
(at 300 on Sunday I wonderedto my self) the answer....................
With a sigh, "I just got tired of it" . I kept a straight face throughout.
I just loved that one and it remains one of my favorite ED stories.

That is SO FUNNY!