Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 9

"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More

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    Me and you both! If only we could stop coddling these people.
    maelstrom143 likes this.

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    Phone triage---
    "My girlfriend is bleeding!"
    "How much is she bleeding?"
    "I don't know, a lot!!'
    "Where is she bleeding from?"
    ".......uh......you know."
    "No, sir, I don't know. You need to tell me."
    "........uh.....her area....."
    "Do you mean her vagina?"
    "(giggle)....uh, yeah"
    "Is she pregnant?"
    ".....uh.....I don't think so."
    "Is she having any pain?"
    "......uh, yeah....cuz....you know."
    "No, I don't. Describe the pain."
    "Well, we just got done having...you know...."
    "Sex?"
    "(giggle)....uh, yeah...."
    "Do you think she's bleeding from the sex?"
    "......uh....no, we used something.....you know."
    "NO, I don't. What did you use?"
    "..................do you know what a c*ck ring is? This one was metal."
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    Quote from ~*Stargazer*~


    Had another guy vomit once in the bathroom at the movie theater. No comorbidities, no other complaints. Vomited once and came in by ambulance. An adult man.
    This is literally a daily occurence where I work.
    NO50FRANNY and redhead_NURSE98! like this.
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    "No food at home" - middle aged male

    Another middle aged male with laceration to genitals after a drunken manscaping session

    An entire family came in to be treated for bedbugs

    "I'm upset because I had an argument with my mom" - grown woman

    "I need my soiled briefs changed"
    maelstrom143 and DawnJ like this.
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    I get creeped out by the older mother (grandma) grown daughter combo that come in with 'my vigina smells and itches' (that's as written)

    That's just an odd mother/daughter outing
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    Quote from Sassy5d
    I get creeped out by the older mother (grandma) grown daughter combo that come in with 'my vigina smells and itches' (that's as written)

    That's just an odd mother/daughter outing
    Yeah, I usually just go shopping with my mom if we need bonding time. Hmm, this is an avenue I've never explored for ways to spend time with my mom....
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    21 yr old girl: " I have this tugging feeling behind my belly button ever since I had my appendix taken out"
    "And how long ago did you have your appendix taken out?"
    "7 years ago."

    Young healthy 30 yr old female "I have the flu"
    "OK, so what made you come in tonight?"
    Blank stare. "Because I have the flu. I don't feel well."
    Grrr this flu season has been brutal. Don't know why ppl think the flu is a medical emergency.

    Psychiatric patient sent from nearby facility: "they gave me too much meds"
    I review the paperwork they sent with him. The guy was sent because someone at the facility basically made a med error and have him 2mg of Ativan instead of 1mg. It was over an hour after the fact and there was not a darn thing wrong with him. Very legitimate reason for calling an ambulance and wasting our resources...
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    Walking and/or standing "seizures", a pt who attempted to flop like a fish over a siderail while "seizing" then when finished sat up and asked if that was a seizure, when told no attempted to get a description of what a seizure looks like. A guy (not diabetic) who took 3 cc's (not units) of insulin in attempt to kill himself because his girlfriend broke up with him, almost did the job.
    maelstrom143 likes this.
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    Oh and let's not forget my all time favorite... Medic calls report to charge nurse pt in vtach 180ish charge nurse puts medic on phone with md who gives orders. Pt arrives to ED lidocaine gtt hanging medic states pt slowed down but hasnt converted while pt is being moved over and being put on ED monitor as medic shows md monitor strip from field md states "that's not vtach, that's afib with rvr" I'm like WOW! Still! And that was a few years ago. Lol
    maelstrom143 likes this.
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    Quote from ~*Stargazer*~
    Had another guy vomit once in the bathroom at the movie theater. No comorbidities, no other complaints. Vomited once and came in by ambulance. An adult man.
    The bolded words say it all.
    SherriJones likes this.


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