My First Delivery, Not A Good Experience

[nursebrandie28, BSN, RN]

Hey guys.... I have been a nurse for 4 years, i am 24 yrs old, single, no kids. In nursing school I have never seen a delivery or been in or around OB. In my ER (inner city St louis ER) if OB patients are over 18 weeks they are automatically sent to OB, so my OB knowledge is small and limited.

Well, I also work PRN in a small rural 4 bed ER, where my parents live. And I was working the other night (only nurse on night shift) and the ambulance called over the phone (not the radio) and told me they were bringing an 18 yr old girl gravida 4 para 2, 22 weeks pregnant and dilated 6. I quickly got off the phone, opened our "emergency childbirth kit" and gloved and gowned up. Called the ERP who was sound alseep and did not wake up. Next thing I know the EMS pulls up and I (me, nobody else) delivered a still born fetus. Well, finally I had the medic go back to the doctor's lounge and pull the doctor out of bed. The 18 year turned out to be on meth, heroin, etoh of 386 and her first statement to me after the delivery while i was cleaning her up was... "now maybe i can fit into my skinny jeans."

Well, I am in tears. I know in nursing school they teach not to cry, however, here was this beutiful, could have been healthy, baby and a young drugged up mother who could have cared less. The fetus, who I wrapped up in the baby cloth (before sending it to pathology) had all 10 fingers, 10 toes, all of his lungs, little baby member (it was a boy) an almost fully developed human being.

I don't know really why I posted this post, just cannot get that picture of the fetus out of my mind. I mean don't get me wrong I have seen trauma ( i do work in the most dangerous city in the US) but i have never seen that before and then all those women who cannot have children. I just feel that this young woman (first kid at 13 by her 27 yr boyfriend at the time) just throw her baby away, for lack of better words.....

I do have traditional thinking that women are born to be nurturers and care for their offspring. And i was just shocked that this human miracle was in her womb growing for 22 wks and she did even care......

Any comments?

[RN007]

Oh, my goodness. I don't know what to say. I guess my first thought is the 'mother' obviously didn't get the love she needed to develop into a compassionate human being. She's young. Maybe there's still hope. All I can offer is a prayer for the baby ... and you, his angel on earth, for being there for him.

[DDRN4me]

(((((Nurse Brandie )))) this is certainly not your typical delivery. YOU were there for that little one. whether he was born alive or not. Perhaps God spared him from something worse by taking him then:stone

Its ok to cry and grieve for him;as obviously the uterus donor did not. take care of yourself . you sound like a wonderful caring person.

[Jo Dirt]

And people think mandatory sterilization is such a horrible thing.

[nursejohio, ASN, RN]

Mama, I've had the same thought a million times! We had a G19, no folks, that's not a typo, I said G19 I don't remember how many elective and spont ABs she'd had, but there were double digit living children. None of whom mom had custody of, btw. I just can't wrap my head around why we have to allow and watch (year after year after year) these moms who couldn't care less continue to pop out drug addicted baby after drug addicted baby.

[imenid37]

I am so sorry that you had to deal with such a horrible situation. Unfortunately, you showed more love and concern for this child than his own mother. It is horrible to say, but many of these people who are so addicted to drugs, esp. meth., exhibit behaviour below what one would see in many animals. It is a sad reality when you see that another person's view of life is so different than your own. This is when you go home and hug whoever you love and try to amke you own tiny bit of the world a better place. Sad that the mom is just a child herself. Who loves her if anyone? How in the world do these people literally turn into such animals? I think it is good to cry. You do it because this liitle boy does matter to you, like he should. It makes me cry to thinkhis mom didn't even cry. Imagine being that hard. You store this up because maybe when you have your own kids or talk to your nieces and nephews or teen patients you keep in your mind how bad things can be and you deal with those you meet a little differently. I hope the next birth you see is wanted and happy like it should be. Peace to you.

[maggijo]

That is a tragic story. Breaks my heart.

On a different note, please be careful with the "most dangerous city in the US" comments when discussing St. Louis. The flawed report that listed St. Louis as #1 gave the city a bad name, and it is a wonderful place to live and work.

Unfortunately, women who don't deserve to be mothers get pregnant all the time in every city. Makes me sick... and sad.

Thanks for being there for this baby.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

{{{{nursebrandie28}}}}

Wishing you peace.

[txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN]

This is such a horrible thing.... I have cried many times over patients whether it be death or something as tragic as this.. you are only human. So many families want children and can't have them.. this is such a shame. Sorry you had to experience this...

[dragonflyRN]

I cried as a student working in an inner city ER, the massive amounts of abuse cases. My first day in obs rotation, I cried because I helped deliver a baby. First time for me on the "other end." It was the most beautiful and natural thing I ever saw. I couldn't handel it though. I have great respect for all of those in ob.

[pink2blue1]

As a mom who struggles through 6 miscarriages to get my miracle son, that makes me so sad! I probably would have, no make that I KNOW I would have cried too and after her comment someone would have had to hold me back from not slapping her! How sad. Sorry you had to experience that.

Hugs

[matchstickxx]

I am so sorry you had this experience. Fetal demise deliveries are hard on the delivery nurse under the best of circumstances.

Bless you for taking such great care of that baby.