"dropped sppon into running garbage disposal and tried to pull it out"- ouch-
I worked in a factory where an employee used an electric screw gun to put a screw into her finger, then after returning to work later that day with her finger in a metal protective guard, put another screw into the same finger-
My sister's ED story: The doctor told my sister to go x-ray the man with the snake bite. She walks in to find a man sitting down with a screwdriver sticking out of his leg.
"Doc, are you sure this is the snake bite patient?"
"Ya, dis de snake bite man"
The guy had taken a stab at the snake that bit him and stabbed himself.
I read about this one firsthand in medical records while reviewing an insurance claim a few years back: a DOCTOR tried to stop his continuous diarrhea by sticking a shotglass up there. No one would have ever known had it not broken and forced him to go to the ER for removal.