Feeling broken and there's no way out...

iluvivt, BSN, RN · Jul 24, 2012

Honestly ,as I was reading your post I was thinking you were doing a good job with that crazy patient. I had one of those ladies today on neuro..long hx of bipolar and meth use..she was angry...cursing..then remorseful. She was quite the beast at first but with some TLC she was much better. She scared her primay nurse half to death and she was terrified she was going to slug her. So of course, I tell the nurses lets go in together as I often find patients like this tend to respond better with 2 on 1. So I think calling for help was super and it it is what a prudent nurse would do to keep yourself safe and your patient safe.

Your coworker (x-preceptor) sounds downright mean and has forgoten what it is like to be new at something. You have a right to be there..you earned it..you have a right to keep learning..you have a right to ask for help when needed. So believe in yourself..you will get through it. As for the IV start in the baby..that takes some skill..took me a while to learn that..as a matter of fact we have one IV nurse that will not even touch a child..I get called for all the pedi starts. You also need a good holder for the sart so you needed some help either way. You probably are going to stand up for yourself with this nurse so she will get off your back.

brainkandy87 · Jul 24, 2012

That's a patient that any nurse, no matter how many years of experience and new RN's they've eaten, would've needed a hand with. If not with the actual patient, just help keeping an eye on his or her other patients. Your preceptor sounds like a tool and eventually you'll learn that you need to stand your ground with people like that.

sauconyrunner · Jul 24, 2012

As IF that preceptor would have handled all that on her own. Tell her to go take a long walk off a short pier. In our ED our New Grads get 16 weeks orientation, every shift on the floor. If they need a class, thats extra. You were put in a really bad situation, and frankly speaking that is not the typical patient, I imagine you did not have one very much like that for your entire orientation.

You should apply for other jobs, if you really want out. It will be honest to explain that you did not feel you got the support you needed. That whole situation seems sort of well...not good for learning, adn then your preceptors comments, probably need to be relayed to someone...she shouldnt be precepting- some people stink at it.. you got a stinker. As a preceptor, I would stake my reputation on the people I precepted being ready to be off orientation. So for her to say "You aren't doing it right" etc, just reflects on her- she didn't help you learn. :madface: Hang in there. Apply for new jobs if you want, and of course, tomorrow will be a whole new adventure. And one that just possibly, will be a little more normal and handle-able!!!

nurse4newlife · Jul 24, 2012

Even with the BEST preceptor, its very hard to feel competent, knowledgeable, or very 'together' the first year. Hang.in there, find one or two people you work with who want to teach, and don't look at you crazy for asking questions.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jul 24, 2012

Hello All, I need you all to lend your help. I am a new grad RN in a very busy ER, I just came off of a 9 week orientation in which I spent one of my 3 shifts each week in an Emergency Nursing course. I felt that I didn't get the best or most out of my orientation because my preceptor simply would NOT relinquish duties and let me do it alone. I would tell her that I can do it, will do it, and need to do it alone but only on my 2nd to last day did it happen. So I asked for an extension and was only granted 1 week more, hence the 9 weeks instead of 8.
I had my first shift on my own yesterday and all was going well, I would ask the other nurses a question here and there, until I got the worst pt ever, who came with barely any info from the paramedics because they picked her up from a hostile environment. The pt was combative and clearly either on something or had a psych issue, refused to talk to us, was screaming, hollering, and lying on the hallway floors. Not to mention she was having lady partsl bleeding and just nothing could be done until we sedated her. (She painted the rm & bathroom in blood-literally, climbed over side rails, etc) To make a long story short, the hostile people from whence she came called, then showed up, then her mom called 911 saying we had her dead in the ER and wouldn't allow her to see her. The mom turned out to be crazier than the pt, the md there was of no help as he refused to talk to the mom until I got my charge involved. I had every senior nurse that was working in my area helping me. I still somehow managed to try and care for my other 3 pts. After all was said and done, I stayed after my shift and made sure that I had charted graphically to "tba". As I was leaving my preceptor who was one of the nurses helping me said " this is why you needed more time, how are you supposed to ever work alone if you need help from everybody all day long". I feel that NO ONE could have handled that pt alone! (Did I mention that everyone stays there long enough to get experience then leave, the hospital has a constant revolving door, only the senior nurses on the old contract stay).
I have tried to be positive even when crying my way home after many grueling days. I study on my own time the things I don't know. I'm not completely new to nursing in general as I was an LVN for 13 yrs, but this is a different ball game. I never wanted ER, but have tried to make the best and do my best because frankly this is the only job offer I received. I REALLY want out, but who hires an RN with 9.5 wks experience:cry:

First I am sorry you had a bad day!:hug: Second.......

Welcome to AN! The largest online nursing community!

Wow....I'm an experienced ED RN and I would have found this patient challenging. But I also would have had papers signed on her, confined, sedated, and restrained in 4 points...... before she could act out any further. Where is the charge nurse? Where is the ED MD? Why wasn't security, or the police, called? Wiping lady partsl blood on the walls, flinging herself on the floor and in the hall screaming and hollering......If your co-workers wouldn't help you I'd say never go back there.

Your preceptor is out of line. Your ED doc was out of line.....refusing to talk to the patient until you spoke to your charge. :madface: That makes my blood boil. As the charge I would have had him by his ears and drug him in her so we could sedate this crazy person. You are right.....no one could have handled a person this out of control by yourself....that would be dangerous.

Orientation for 9 weeks on a new grad isn't long enough but hospitals don't care right now. ANY new grad is over whelmed for the first year let alone a new grad in an ED. Thank goodness you were an LPN....at least you have some good solid assessment skills to fall back on to help you.

You either LOVE the ED or you HATE it. My recommendation is to stick it out tha tone year to get it under your belt. There are crazy days in the ED, probably more crazy days than sane ones, I remember my first days int he ED.....I cried EVERYDAY. I was fresh out of school, I was very young (18) and in an inner city environment. :eek: I "knew" certain things but NOTHING prepared me for the humanity, carnage, and insanity possessed by the human race.....let alone the male anatomy (remember this was 34 years ago) and odd behaviors of the human race.

I did fall in love.........:loveya: once I was over being shocked and overwhelmed:rolleyes:. I wish you the best....hang in there!

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jul 24, 2012

No one could have handled that patient alone. If you were 1-1 with her you couldn't have handled her alone, and it sounds like you had other people to take care of. Your preceptor/doc/charge can just take over if they think it's so easy. My advice- if you have a crazy out of control patient- restrict visitors. No one gets in unless they prove sanity by sitting quietly in the waiting room for at least 15 minutes, and even then, one at a time. No crazy Moms allowed in, and if they sneak in they get escorted out by security. Where was security, anyway? You could have used the help.

All4NursingRN · Jul 24, 2012

I've had nasty preceptors, clinical instructors, nursing professors, managers.

And guess what I'm STILL an RN!!!! I don't let those people get to me!

OP don't let these fools in nursing break your spirit. You will come across many of these types of nurses. Hold your head up high and stand your ground, new grad or NOT you can do it!

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Jul 24, 2012

That was a heck of a trial by fire, but you cannot let one shift ruin everything. Talk to someone you trust about how they might have handled things differently and then you can formulate a plan for the future when you encounter these types of situations. Baling right away is not the right answer. No matter how much it sucked.

**NickiLaughs, ADN, BSN, RN** · Jul 24, 2012

I was an LVN that started in ICU as a new grad RN in a pretty hostile "nurses eat their young" kinda environment. I can feel you! It DOES get better, eventually you will have the ability to return the snarky comments, and the amount of them should decrease. Psych patients can take a lot out of you, the fact that you hung in there and handled everything shows what you are made of. Don't let someone who is obviously insecure with themselves and taking it out on others get to you. You know you rocked it as best you could.

morte, LPN, LVN · Jul 24, 2012

I think an answer to your expreceptor would have been along the line of " as you have sewn, so shall ye reap"

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 24, 2012

RNRichi

,

oh there are many days I want to cry, am frustrated at the situation, coworkers, doctors, or just myself for not feeling like I did my best. Sometimes I can never feel like things are good enough. Someone is ALWAYS finding fault, even when your best is good enough (that's more a pep talk for me too).

I have a long drive home and I use that to decompress. You have to let it go. When you leave those hospital walls, let all that toxicity stay there, not on and in you. Again, that's something I struggle with, as well. Everyday is a learning day.

plumbtrician · Jul 24, 2012

Keep up the good work. Lift that chin.