add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts - page 8

Hey all new to the board, thought we could share some strang encounters in triage...... ...as the 24yr male entered triage I asked what's wrong today? He replies my "ovories" hurt...... there... Read More

  1. by   qcumba
    One very common complaint we have is when parents bring in thier infants and when asked what thier complaint is they reply - Crying! yes unfortunately thats what babies do - and usually said child is in the parents arms grinning from ear to ear
  2. by   Pixie.RN
    My favorite ever, during a busy strep season: "Sore trout." Upon reading it, our triage nurse came up to our doc and asked if he had any veterinary experience.

    Of course, there's always that variant of "pus-like," coupled with "discharge." Looks funny on our sign-in roster! LOL
  3. by   meagain716
    I work in a peds ER. My favorites have been:

    "Got caught smoking pot" (sent via EMS from school...and we've had 5 or 6 of those!)
    "menstrual cramps" (via EMS)
    "He's not eating" (as he sits on mom's lap sucking on a lollipop)
    "Not pooping" (the problem resolved itself prior to seeing the dr)
    "passed out 2 days ago"
    "stomach got stuck in zipper" (via EMS from school. Her tummy got pinched in her pants zipper...no trauma, no bleeding, no mark of any kind. The school aide told me "you know, schools have to be careful; there could be some sort of internal bleeding or something." Uhhhh huh.)
  4. by   lpnstudentin2010
    Quote from meagain716
    "stomach got stuck in zipper" (via EMS from school. Her tummy got pinched in her pants zipper...no trauma, no bleeding, no mark of any kind. The school aide told me "you know, schools have to be careful; there could be some sort of internal bleeding or something." Uhhhh huh.)

    wow we would never do that...I work at a preschool and we would not do that. There was a time that i worked that we probably should have child fell on head from 5 feet up (4 or 5 year old) teacher moved them (to my dismay) on to her lap and they were ok.
  5. by   Spritenurse1210
    Quote from TazziRN
    Oh








    my









    gawd.....................


    Well if he burns his privates off then logically he can't get an std! And the darwin award goes to............
  6. by   debgirl71
    just tonite: guy signed in "don't know". no symptoms, labs normal, negative xray.
    i guess he was bored.
  7. by   talaxandra
    Quote from meagain716
    "stomach got stuck in zipper" (via EMS from school. Her tummy got pinched in her pants zipper...no trauma, no bleeding, no mark of any kind. The school aide told me "you know, schools have to be careful; there could be some sort of internal bleeding or something." Uhhhh huh.)
    Oh dear god
  8. by   NY-RN_Kay
    Quote from Linds0094
    Young female at triage...

    "I know I am pregnant"

    ER RN- "How do you know?"

    "My baby's daddy can feel two heartbeats in my wrist, mine and the babies"

    C'mon now! You must be ***ting me!!!
    Last edit by NY-RN_Kay on Jan 4, '09
  9. by   RetiredTooSoon
    Quote from Pecked2DthByChickens
    Admitting Dx: "Can't Stop Crying" (for 3 days straight)...and she was right. She sat in a bed in the hall and cried for hours!
    Our little ER had a woman come in with that. Fortunately, her family doc was the one on that night (small centre-family docs ran the ER) and he was able to get her settled. She had been crying almost constantly since the night before; not sure what the dx was.
  10. by   uniquenurse
    75 year old lady, lives alone, called an ambulance because her "light bulb in the room is busted". Brought in to E.D. for social admission.
  11. by   TraumaNurseRN
    "My 5 year old swallowed a piece of candy." 5 year old sitting there fine as can be. I say hi there, what's your name...she tells me. I ask mom again....is there a problem mam...she says, omg you don't understand what I am trying to say, she swallowed a piece of candy....:chuckle
  12. by   chicagobsn
    CC: "hemragging to death"

    Pt comes into Triage with her sidekick stating "Im hamragging to death and need help now!"

    me: youre bleeding?

    pt: "Yes, from my area, theres many clogs and clauses flowing like a sea down there!"

    Me: Are you on your period? How long has this been going on?

    pt: Yeah mam I have my menspration and I cant keep up with the clogs and clauses!

    Me:So you have your period and there are a lot of clots? Her sidekick interrupts and states, I saw it all in the bowl! TONS of clauses in there! Shes dying!

    I never did find out what clauses were..thank god they didnt bring in a specimen!!!
  13. by   ThrowEdNurse
    "My son has been having an asthma attack for about a week and we out of his meds so I been making him breath into a paper bag instead but it ain't really working."
    It was Christmas morning.
    I was just glad they used paper and not plastic.

close