It is something I would write in my journal, I am sharing something I normally wouldn't. It is about my experience on becoming a nurse and the opinion of society. I am hoping others can relate so that I know I am not alone. I realize it is a different experience for everyone. This is my journey, summarized. Raw and uncensored.
Did I make a mistake? Am I going to regret this for the rest of my life?
These thoughts keep running through my head. I roll around in bed, eating pizza and feeling sorry for myself. Nursing school was so hard. It took up a lot of my time, energy, money...and let's not forget the mental stress. When I first started telling people I am a nursing major is when I realized how negative people can be and how they crush your soul a little without even realizing it. Strangers, family, and friends.
I rarely heard words of encouragement "You know it is really hard to get into nursing school, you will be waiting forever."
Fast forward. I applied to an associate degree program in my area. Got in. "So isn't a Bachelor degree what you need?"
Fast forward. Graduation. "You know, it is nearly impossible to find a nursing job." "So you're going to be wiping people's butts for a living?"
I just wanted to shake these ignorant people. I did not shed blood, sweat, and tears for someone to think that my only task would be cleaning feces. I could write a book on all the things I have heard about my choice in profession.
The NCLEX was a traumatic experience. I told myself that if I failed it, that is it. I could not go through that type of exam again. I passed. I then started applying to what felt like a million nursing positions in hospitals. Not one call. Rejection emails flooded my inbox. I was tired of my job in sales so I decided to go ahead and apply to skilled nursing facilities. You know, what people look down on. Got an interview... got hired. I wasn't thrilled but I was happy to be using my license that I worked so hard for.
Met with a group of friends from nursing school for dinner. One of us in the group of 6 landed a hospital job. That was no surprise since she had worked there 10 plus years as a Unit Secretary/Nurse Assistant. First thing out of her mouth "How much are they paying you?" I reluctantly told her, in front of everyone. "You should really get a hospital job." Insinuating how much more money she makes. I wanted to scream. Everyone congratulated her, but not me. My job wasn't exciting and I didn't make $50+ an hour.
When will the negativity end? Why are nursing politics so prevalent? Who works where. Who makes what. New nurse versus seasoned nurse. Bachelor degree or Associate? Shouldn't we be united? Did we not all work hard for our license? Aren't we all smart?
I was no longer excited to go shop for scrubs. I sat through orientation at work with a headache and just wanted to cry. Truth is, I am scared. I am a new nurse. I don't know a lot, I have a lot to learn. However, how can I feel okay when I don't think I will get the support I need to thrive as a nurse? Did everyone at some point feel this way? I wanted to help people. I am caring and compassionate. I genuinely want to heal and make a difference.
I know it is not glamorous. I know it won't make me rich. Don't look down on me because I am a new graduate. Teach me. Guide me. Let me be great. It is not something you might have wanted to hear and I'm sure it didn't leave you with a warm, fuzzy feeling. But this is what I am going through. It is the truth and it is my experience.
Specializes in ED, Cardiac Rehab, nursing education.
Give your LTC patients the excellent care they deserve and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Remember that every shift ends, you are in control of your nursing destiny, and eventually YOU will be in a position to be a superb mentor and role model. If you ever need someone to "talk" with, send me a message :) Keep up the good work!
Wow, your friends are so stupid. Ditch them. You should be proud that you graduated AND have a nursing job. I'm still in nursing school and everything is so impacted in California that most new grads would be lucky to get a job anywhere, including SNFs, clinics, etc.
Be proud of what you have accomplished and quit comparing yourself with others. You can transfer to a hospital after gaining experience at the SNF and you'll eventually earn a lot of money. Also, out of courtesy, you should've congratulated her because not doing so probably made you look petty and she did have a point. A hospital job might be a better option if that's what you're into, but she didn't say it in a proper, polite, way. It happens, sometimes people speak without thinking and come off sounding like asses.
I hope that you find compassionate nurses down the road, I wish that more nurses would remember what it was like to be a student and treat new nurses better. Hang in there. :)
Thank you for posting. In truth, nursing school is hard. NCLEX is hard and sometimes even getting that first job is hard. Sometimes you have to be willing to relocate for a year or so, or in your case, start a job that isn't exactly where you want to be.
This isn't exclusive to nursing. Most majors these days have new grads scrubbing toilets before they can move in to a "real position". Many other careers now require a masters to even get started.
What's most important is that you are trying. Don't give up! Next time- needs to be a new phrase when it comes to trying to get that job. It will work out if you stick with it.
Several here in the Northwest that are new grads have had to relocate for a bit. Start out in a new place. But, the good news is, once you get that year of experience, it seems the sky is the limit!
Above all be proud and don't let what others think get you discouraged. As a nurse, your future does look bright! Hang in there.
As far as "did you make a mistake" that is only a decision you can make. However, I am of the opinion that if you move to something else, there is no degree out there that gives you a more solid foundation for practically everything else. And your education is never wasted. R
First of all, congrats for getting through a very difficult program, you should be very proud! Most all of us have had the same stresses of school and NCLEX, isn't it such a great feeling to finally be done!?! :)
I've learned a lot since I graduated about 5-6 years ago. Like you've heard before, you are fortunate to have a job. It's not what you wanted, get at least 6 months experience, then always keep your eye out for your next job. Once you get experience, you can start moving around. Take classes to get certifications, like EKG, PALS, NCLEX, ACLS, etc. to put on your resume. See if your employer will pay for these classes and set goals. I've learned that wherever you work, there will be nice people and sometimes, unfortunately mean ones. Try hard to stay positive and distance yourself from negativity and mean co-workers. You really have to let things slide off your back and not dwell on them. Some people are just miserable and always negative. Don't lower yourself by engaging with negative talk or gossip.
Although it sounds like you'd like a hospital job (lots of new nurses do, to start with because thats what they've studied for so long) I've learned it can be over rated. I've seen lots of short staffing, bigger patient loads and sicker patients. Our system is broken and it's making the work much more difficult. I ended up going outside the hospital and love my work so much better now. I keep thinking, if I hadn't been looking and applying, I never would have been lucky enough to get with a smaller and very nice company. I actually really enjoy work. I realize now, I stayed in my first department too long. I didn't realize there was so much better out there. (We had a bad manager, high employee turn over (they tried to fire her, she ended up with a forced retirement) negativity, worst employee moral on hospital surveys and a certain nurse who got away with being really mean and rude to patients and a bully to other nursing staff. She was horribly mean to new grads. Patients complained about her often but nothing was ever done about it and she's still there.
Unfortunately, you might have to deal with hard issues wherever you would work. If it's bad, try not to stay long, like I did. Always keep looking and applying for something better. Although your work will be hard, be grateful you have it, you'll learn a lot. With a smaller staff, you have a smaller chance of being bullied by mean nurses. I've learned for me smaller is better, as far as department goes, less politics. I did hear constantly when I moved, "where have you worked before here" Some are just curious and others judge, let it go.
Your story, unfortunately, is common. I think lots of us have wondered at first, if they made a mistake. I know that now, I'm sooo glad I stuck it out. You can and will have a great career, hang in there. Learn as much as you can, work hard, be a nice nurse and co-worker. Find a way to make yourself valuable to each of your employers, so they'd have a hard time if you left, it helps job security and pay raises. Good luck!
I have been a Nurse for 5 years. I am one who immediately got one of those prized hospital jobs right out of school, and I promise you that you can be a great nurse for any population. No, it is true, we do not do this job because of what we will get paid. That would be great, but the reality is that you will be paid in moments. You will feel like a million dollars when you see in a patient or family member's eyes that you have really made a difference in their lives. You absolutely do not need to be in a hospital to do that for a patient. I wish I could tell you that the judgement will stop, but it will not. At some point you will meet an experienced nurse you admire. Learn everything you can from them and let them inspire you. As much as you have to learn, you already know more than you think you do. Feel confident in what you know and admit when there is something you don't. Hang in there. The more your patients thank you, the less you will care what anyone else has to say. We don't become nurses to impress people, we become nurses to help people. And you will help people more than you know. :)
Your responses made me smile :) Thank you! I am liking my first few days at the LTC/Rehabilitation center I was hired at. I actually don't ever sit around with nothing to do. I have a lot to learn, but I feel like a nurse! Also, I am applying to RN to BSN programs currently because I feel like that is just something that needs to be done these days. So I will be busy writing research papers
The so called support system you surrounded yourself with are a bunch of dolts! But don't worry, you have us! Those of who have been where you are, gone through what you are going through, and had a tough time getting a new grad job are in your corner! You sound like you have what it takes-you will be a wonderful nurse!
I did feel like I lacked a good support system.. However, while some of them sit at their miserable jobs, I am happy Sometimes you just don't get the support you need! Thank you for your response!
I'm at the very beginning of this nursing journey but so far I have gotten the same comments. There are apparently a million reasons why I should not go into nursing.
Thank you so much for your response. You should definitely follow your heart and reach your goals! Sometimes it is hard to block the negativity out. I'm happy to hear that your husband is a great supporter. Keep pushing through!!
I may have taken what my friend said the wrong way. I wrote this article the same day that happened, and because of how I interpreted it, emotions were running high! Haha:) The girl that said that to me is not someone I am close with, but my other friends were actually there for me, they could relate because we were all in the same program together. I called one of my friends and told her how I was feeling after that incident. She told me that she didn't think for a second that the other girl had bad intentions with that comment, and I just took it wrong. Yes, I think she still has the "I will one-up you" personality, I don't think she was being vicious. Thanks for caring, everyone :)))
It seems a lot of nurses just couldn't get a break from the ill will of other people. It comes with the title I guess. I had my fair share of politics, nepotism, cronyism, just downright immature bleepbags, etc. I agree, it's definitely not a glamorous profession, but if you like it you like it.
LRTeducator
3 Posts
Give your LTC patients the excellent care they deserve and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Remember that every shift ends, you are in control of your nursing destiny, and eventually YOU will be in a position to be a superb mentor and role model. If you ever need someone to "talk" with, send me a message :) Keep up the good work!