It is something I would write in my journal, I am sharing something I normally wouldn't. It is about my experience on becoming a nurse and the opinion of society. I am hoping others can relate so that I know I am not alone. I realize it is a different experience for everyone. This is my journey, summarized. Raw and uncensored.
Did I make a mistake? Am I going to regret this for the rest of my life?
These thoughts keep running through my head. I roll around in bed, eating pizza and feeling sorry for myself. Nursing school was so hard. It took up a lot of my time, energy, money...and let's not forget the mental stress. When I first started telling people I am a nursing major is when I realized how negative people can be and how they crush your soul a little without even realizing it. Strangers, family, and friends.
I rarely heard words of encouragement "You know it is really hard to get into nursing school, you will be waiting forever."
Fast forward. I applied to an associate degree program in my area. Got in. "So isn't a Bachelor degree what you need?"
Fast forward. Graduation. "You know, it is nearly impossible to find a nursing job." "So you're going to be wiping people's butts for a living?"
I just wanted to shake these ignorant people. I did not shed blood, sweat, and tears for someone to think that my only task would be cleaning feces. I could write a book on all the things I have heard about my choice in profession.
The NCLEX was a traumatic experience. I told myself that if I failed it, that is it. I could not go through that type of exam again. I passed. I then started applying to what felt like a million nursing positions in hospitals. Not one call. Rejection emails flooded my inbox. I was tired of my job in sales so I decided to go ahead and apply to skilled nursing facilities. You know, what people look down on. Got an interview... got hired. I wasn't thrilled but I was happy to be using my license that I worked so hard for.
Met with a group of friends from nursing school for dinner. One of us in the group of 6 landed a hospital job. That was no surprise since she had worked there 10 plus years as a Unit Secretary/Nurse Assistant. First thing out of her mouth "How much are they paying you?" I reluctantly told her, in front of everyone. "You should really get a hospital job." Insinuating how much more money she makes. I wanted to scream. Everyone congratulated her, but not me. My job wasn't exciting and I didn't make $50+ an hour.
When will the negativity end? Why are nursing politics so prevalent? Who works where. Who makes what. New nurse versus seasoned nurse. Bachelor degree or Associate? Shouldn't we be united? Did we not all work hard for our license? Aren't we all smart?
I was no longer excited to go shop for scrubs. I sat through orientation at work with a headache and just wanted to cry. Truth is, I am scared. I am a new nurse. I don't know a lot, I have a lot to learn. However, how can I feel okay when I don't think I will get the support I need to thrive as a nurse? Did everyone at some point feel this way? I wanted to help people. I am caring and compassionate. I genuinely want to heal and make a difference.
I know it is not glamorous. I know it won't make me rich. Don't look down on me because I am a new graduate. Teach me. Guide me. Let me be great. It is not something you might have wanted to hear and I'm sure it didn't leave you with a warm, fuzzy feeling. But this is what I am going through. It is the truth and it is my experience.
No one ... I mean ~ no one ~ ... understands what it means to be a Nurse, except other Nurses. (And to a limited degree, our patients and their families.) The general public has no clue. There is no way they can understand.
Nursing is truly a " walk a mile in my shoes " kind of gig. No one else will ever understand.
But anyone who sticks it out long enough knows ... you can not expect people to ever "get it".
The Nursing profession is just too complex, convoluted and dynamic for people to understand.
That's why, after years of experience, Nurses can look each other in the eye and just "know". There is a "look".
One of, "been there done that" ... " I know ". Something spoken without words.
And new Nurses have to put miles on that road to get it too. Respect is earned in Nursing.
I agree with you, that Nurses should look out for one another.
Especially in the "corporate" heath care environment where Nurses are viewed as " part of the patient room charges".
As a new Nurse, if you get into a good preceptorship program you should get the support you need and deserve.
Somewhere along the way all the theory you learn in your Nursing program gets assimilated and transformed into real life situation and it becomes clear.
Once that happens, you can walk into any situation and "see" what's going on and what needs to be done.
At some point it all "clicks" and you "get it". But that comes with hard earned time, attention and effort.
And no one outside of the profession can be expected to understand.
So when anyone tries to speak as if they do, just smile ... and realize that ... they never will.
I think I have experienced exactly every single comment you wrote about when I was getting started in nursing. I also started out with my associates degree, now I have had 8 years in a wonderful career, completed my BSN and am currently working on my MSN. I also started out in a skilled nursing facility before getting a job in a hospital. Every experience, good and especially the bad, will make you a better nurse in the future. Bottom line, people can be very ignorant, even your friends, and even good intending people who have no idea they are being ignorant and negative. Forget about them because this is not about them. It's about you and the people you will have the opportunity to help if you stick with it and get through this rough time. Nursing is hard, unbelievably hard, but there are moments that can be so rewarding you will carry them with you the rest of your life. I have had days that were so bad I walked miles home crying because I needed to and I have had jobs that were so terrible I hoped I would get hit by a car and suffer a broken leg, just so I didn't have to go into that terrible job that day. Seriously. But I made sure that even on the worst day I learned at least one thing so that I could ensure I wasn't wasting my time. Eventually you will get into a job that you like and are excited to go to. In the meantime, try to learn one new thing a day so you will be full of tricks when you get to that job. In the meantime, if you even just help one person have a better day because you are their nurse, no matter where you work, you're doing something great and contributing positively to this harsh world, and that is something to feel good about.
First of all, nursing is a noble profession, I don't care who says what. When people say all nurses do is wipe a*s (for $20-30/hr) here's my reaction: all day everyday. Second, finding a job as a new grad is never easy, but I promise it'll be worth it if you make the most of your experience and learn. Nothing in life that's worth it will be handed to you, it anyone. LTAC might offersomething acute care hospitals might not, you'll learn so much in an LtAC. Don't let anyone belittles you, but if they're giving you constructive criticism, learn from it. I can't promise your first year will be east, but I promise it'll make you a lot stronger nurse if you allow it to.
I remember my first job as an Interim Permittee. I was still waiting to receive my Board exam results. (Back when it was a two day, by pencil adventure !)
I can still see the glint her eye and that smirk on her face when my preceptor, while rolling up her sleeves, said to me ...
" Honey, you(we) be in the trenches now. "
My first job was on the night shift at a large hospital in the "East Bay", SF, Ca. Med/Surg unit.
I have so many stories from that experience I could write a book.
From wound care that, literally, put me elbow deep into someone's thigh ... ( in the Dankin's Solution days ) ... through a substance abuse patient who cut their IV lines, went "awol" onto the city streets, got their "fix" and return to their bed for further care ... to the HIV/AIDS patient who trapped me in his room, threatening to bite me from his overbed frame.
Those were some interesting nights. And I learned a lot.
I chose that hospital for their excellent preceptorship program. (In the days when new grads had their choice of jobs to take.) I thought working there would give me the best, initial experience as a new Nurse. And I did, as I said, learn a lot.
But it wasn't until years later, while working in a smaller hospital that I realized I was getting a more broad experience. Because the large, fancy hospitals are so specialized, I learned a lot about a very narrow patient group. (They had several "specialized" Med/Surg units.)
At the smaller hospital, we had every diagnosis and condition admitted to our unit. There, I learned even more.
And right up to the last day I worked, some 20+ years later and a couple of different jobs under my belt, I was still learning.
That's one of the primary reasons those who stick with Nursing do. Advances in medicine and the changing environment of Health Care always provide something interesting and new to learn ... some new adventure to experience.
I guess I miss it.
I'm sorry to hear of the frustrations and challenges new Nurses face these days.
I see that as part of the bureaucratic / politico problems infused into the profession.
And that gives reason, all the more, for Nurses to stand together and create one loud voice calling for attention, recognition and result in our work to provide safe, effective, and well compensated care for our patients, their families and the community.
I have gained a lot of respect from family and friends since becoming a nurse, but I have found the job not as rewarding as I thought some nurse's (and managers) are understanding that I'm new, but overall I found nurses to be catty and unhelpful. Where I worked until recently the managers would tell you that you're doing a great job, but then tell all your co-workers things you do wrong. It was very high school. I don't mind constructive criticism and I'm never rude I couldn't understand why they would do that, but when I would talk to them they would bad mouth other nurse's to me also. Finally, I got tired of it. I'm hoping my new job will be more professional.
Be nice to new nurses we're doing the best we can!!
I have been nursing for a very long time. I regret to say that in every job I've held there has always been a bit of that type of competition that drives some people to need to put others down to make themselves feel superior. What I have learned is that not all of these people accurately describe their own level of talent, superiority and intellect. Try not to focus on these people. There are others around that are healthy,supportive and genuinely like what they are doing. Be one of those people. If you landed a job in an area you weren't planning, be the best person in that environment that you can be and keep your eye out. The positive references you develop where you are will assist you in getting your foot in the door in the next place. You have shown great initiative in accepting a job outside your box rather than sitting around waiting for your ideal. As far as seasoned nurses raining on your parade, I can only say this. They have put in many years of hard work and in reality, they want some acknowledgement from novice nurses, that their years of experience have given them some expertise that a novice nurse hasn't developed yet. Yes, many of them are salty dogs, but they have critical thinking skills and well integrated assessment skills. Let them know in some way that you respect what their years have given them and the rough exterior will fade a bit. Hang in there and be confident in yourself. You are on the right track!!!!
I have been out of school for 8 years, and I started out in LTC (4yrs) . I just decided I was going to learn every thing I could, because of the experience I gained from LTC I was just offered a job as a Pt Care manager. it is an Administrative job within the hospital.
The important thing is if you have faith in yourself that you can do it then do it. There will always be people to tell you you can't do it or some other negative influence to break you down to give up. Yes nursing is a hard job but people don't need to discourage you from it. If society wants good nurses-they need to support nurses. Back in the day nursing was a respectable profession. Now it's not(the same). I have been in nursing for 30+ years and have a love/hate relationship with it. I don't always get support for what I do. My first job was in LTC. I had a nursing supervisor take me under her wing and I got better. Friends and family may mean well but they don't necessarily do you justice. You could use a good mentor to help you through this. Negativity causes nothing but problems. I have had the same problem
(We had a bad manager, high employee turn over (they tried to fire her, she ended up with a forced retirement) negativity, worst employee moral on hospital surveys and a certain nurse who got away with being really mean and rude to patients and a bully to other nursing staff. She was horribly mean to new grads. Patients complained about her often but nothing was ever done about it and she's still there.
Unfortunately some places keep these mean nurses and lose good ones because of them.
One thing, when a nurse goes into LTC setting, she/he is likely to lose some of the skills that they gained in the hospital.
Let me start by saying I'm a new nurse and am also been feeling like you. Nevertheless, I have learned LONG BEFORE even when I was in high school, NOT TO LISTEN to people's comments and opinions and suggestions UNLESS they are towards your growth and improvement. My counselor told me I cannot go to a state university, I didn't listen and a few months later, I got my admissions and financial aid support. Many of my relatives told me to start CNA then LVN then RN, I did NOT listen and 5 years later I received my BSN. Now, I am an RN. I have accepted that the life of an RN is tough and can be frustrating NOT necessarily towards the patient care BUT towards the nursing environment and the people you work with. They will make your job experience a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Then again, I would encourage you to NOT let these thoughts LINGER in your mind. Think of yourself. Happy Nursing!
My reward is my patients. It is the management people I don't care for and like other professions, there are good and bad people. The bad ones take their stress out on their patients, try to dump their work off on other people, etc. I would go home and my back and legs are so sore, I just about fall into bed and crash hard, sometimes for 16 hours. There will be ups and downs in any career, just try not to let the downs overwhelm you. The best thing I did was get into homecare. When I went back to the LTC facility where I had been doing the work of 4 people just a few months after the new management people chased most of the old staff out and hired in all new grads for a lower wage, people were visibly stunned at how much better they said I looked. Hang in there and you will find a job sooner or later that will not eat you alive, burn you out. What they did at my old job was just start writing everybody up for anything and everything. Everyday we came into work, more threats posted by the time clock. The older nurses started getting stress related illnesses, one had to be hospitalized for a stroke level blood pressure. Others would throw up, they talked about how afraid they were to come into work because they didn't know if they were going to get fired. Then the new head hunting crew that the new attack dog administrator brought in started making us rotate units, then floors. That's almost like having to learn your job all over again. The best thing I did was quit that place and get into homecare. When the visits are low, you alternate between having your cable and internet shut off or missing a credit card payment, but I like my people and don't have to answer to, be constantly harassed, threatened, or otherwise have to answer to a bunch of lazy imbeciles that couldn't work the floor if their lives depended on it. There are ups and downs. Hang in there and hopefully you will find your niche where the ups outweigh the downs
tjmrn
30 Posts
No one ... I mean ~ no one ~ ... understands what it means to be a Nurse, except other Nurses. (And to a limited degree, our patients and their families.) The general public has no clue. There is no way they can understand.
Nursing is truly a " walk a mile in my shoes " kind of gig. No one else will ever understand.
But anyone who sticks it out long enough knows ... you can not expect people to ever "get it".
The Nursing profession is just too complex, convoluted and dynamic for people to understand.
That's why, after years of experience, Nurses can look each other in the eye and just "know". There is a "look".
One of, "been there done that" ... " I know ". Something spoken without words.
And new Nurses have to put miles on that road to get it too. Respect is earned in Nursing.
I agree with you, that Nurses should look out for one another.
Especially in the "corporate" heath care environment where Nurses are viewed as " part of the patient room charges".
As a new Nurse, if you get into a good preceptorship program you should get the support you need and deserve.
Somewhere along the way all the theory you learn in your Nursing program gets assimilated and transformed into real life situation and it becomes clear.
Once that happens, you can walk into any situation and "see" what's going on and what needs to be done.
At some point it all "clicks" and you "get it". But that comes with hard earned time, attention and effort.
And no one outside of the profession can be expected to understand.
So when anyone tries to speak as if they do, just smile ... and realize that ... they never will.