Saw this on a Facebook group.... funny, but SO true...
You know you are a NICU nurse when...
1. You've eaten hamburger patties bigger than most of your patients
2. You define colors by the color of stool you've seen- i.e. baby poop green/yellow
3. You don't understand why talking about sticking a needle in a baby's head is making other people at the dinner table ill
4. At one time or another have had breast milk, poop or urine on your work clothes
5. You have affectionately called a patient cletus the fetus, wimpy white boy, troll or FLK (funny lookin' kid) in report
6. You can change your patient's bed linens with one hand while holding your patient in the other
7. You can make an IV arm board out of some 4x4 gauze and tape
8. You've almost caught your hair on fire while in your patient's bed...a.k.a. radiant warmer
9. You've used a sock or a piece of tape for a restraint
10. You check out the scalp veins, cap refill and fontanels on a friend's new baby
11. You use a cotton ball to obtain urine samples
12. You use saran wrap to keep your food fresh and your patient's warm
13. You think all crying babies need benadryl, versed or intubation
14. You think the pulse oximeter, CPAP and those crappy no sticking leads were created by the devil
15. You have ever shown a doctor a green residual while they were eating
16. You have obtained a 10cc residual when the patient only gets 1cc
17. You have put an intensive care patient in a swing
18. You don't get excited if your patient has a heart rate of 180
19. You do chest compressions with two fingers
20. Most of your meds come in TB/1cc syringes
21. You prepare your patient's bath water in a Dixie cup
22. You draw blood from your patient's heel
23. You use a rubber band for a tourniquet
24. You've seen two complexes on EKG screen and not been excited-you merely pat your patient on the butt and it's all good
25. Newborn babies look like preschoolers to you
26. You tell people what you do and they think you sit around and rock babies all day
27. When you tell people what you really do they start to cry and/or vomit
28. You have assisted with surgery on your patient in their bed and on the unit
29. You have at one time or another in the heat of frustration threatened to throw your patient in the trash can
30. You have considered using duct tape to hold a pacifier in a screaming baby's mouth
31. You have met your patient's father, mother's boyfriend, and husband all in one day
32. You have made a mental note that no matter how stupid people are they still know how to get their groove on
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babynurselsa, RN
1,129 Posts
I have on more than oe occasion threatened to tube patients to the lab.
Especially when the new lab tech who will only accept the "perfect specimen" call for the 3rd redraw from my 500gm baby, or that cranky gut kiddo....