OK I kept it together pretty well until the fingernail one! Bodily fluids are fine, you can always wash up, but that fingernail thing made my toes curl! thank God I haven't experienced these things! Worst I think was when I worked in a nursing home and went to wake and dress etc a woman for breakfast. Went up and she was on the landing, naked apart from the poo squelching between her toes, in her hands and everywhere her hands had been incuding her hair and mouth. After heaving slightly, I led her into her room by the elbow - not covered in poo! - to find her trail. Evidently she had needed to visit the bathroom and had ignored the call bell on her pillow (was still lying there), crawled down the bottom of the bed around the cot sides, past her commode and into her bathroom leaving a lovely trail the entire way. Yes I said a commode. The lid was up and everything 'just in case'. she had then walked around in the mess and left footprints of the stuff all over her room and all over the landing. she had been over to the lift and thank God hadn't managed to find the button or i dread to think were the trail coud have lead....
I took a big intake of breath and got to work tidying up and pulled the call bell for a bit of help as she was in a huge mess.
The boss wandered in 'problem Debbie?'
Errr, I looked around pointedly....
'S**t'....(yes I did smirk) 'looks like you will be late for breakfast' and walked off.
Took me hours to get it back to normal.
She was a lovely lady, tiny and had a great sense of humour when lucid, saw her obit in the paper the other day.