Published
Saw this on a Facebook group.... funny, but SO true...
You know you are a NICU nurse when...
1. You've eaten hamburger patties bigger than most of your patients
2. You define colors by the color of stool you've seen- i.e. baby poop green/yellow
3. You don't understand why talking about sticking a needle in a baby's head is making other people at the dinner table ill
4. At one time or another have had breast milk, poop or urine on your work clothes
5. You have affectionately called a patient cletus the fetus, wimpy white boy, troll or FLK (funny lookin' kid) in report
6. You can change your patient's bed linens with one hand while holding your patient in the other
7. You can make an IV arm board out of some 4x4 gauze and tape
8. You've almost caught your hair on fire while in your patient's bed...a.k.a. radiant warmer
9. You've used a sock or a piece of tape for a restraint
10. You check out the scalp veins, cap refill and fontanels on a friend's new baby
11. You use a cotton ball to obtain urine samples
12. You use saran wrap to keep your food fresh and your patient's warm
13. You think all crying babies need benadryl, versed or intubation
14. You think the pulse oximeter, CPAP and those crappy no sticking leads were created by the devil
15. You have ever shown a doctor a green residual while they were eating
16. You have obtained a 10cc residual when the patient only gets 1cc
17. You have put an intensive care patient in a swing
18. You don't get excited if your patient has a heart rate of 180
19. You do chest compressions with two fingers
20. Most of your meds come in TB/1cc syringes
21. You prepare your patient's bath water in a Dixie cup
22. You draw blood from your patient's heel
23. You use a rubber band for a tourniquet
24. You've seen two complexes on EKG screen and not been excited-you merely pat your patient on the butt and it's all good
25. Newborn babies look like preschoolers to you
26. You tell people what you do and they think you sit around and rock babies all day
27. When you tell people what you really do they start to cry and/or vomit
28. You have assisted with surgery on your patient in their bed and on the unit
29. You have at one time or another in the heat of frustration threatened to throw your patient in the trash can
30. You have considered using duct tape to hold a pacifier in a screaming baby's mouth
31. You have met your patient's father, mother's boyfriend, and husband all in one day
32. You have made a mental note that no matter how stupid people are they still know how to get their groove on
Anyone every change a diaper of a breastmilk fed baby whose mom eats solely beans and rice! Ouch! You gotta tie off the garbage bag in the can and toss it down the chute ASAP or eyes start burning all over the unit!
Pregestimil burps are as bad as the poops....well almost.
There is also the nice feeling when you go to a March of Dimes walk and the 24 weeker you fought against the tide of circling the drain for weeks is now pushing his little brother in the stroller munching on animal crackers! (Happened to me this year!)
:smiletea2::smilecoffeeIlovecof
There is also the nice feeling when you go to a March of Dimes walk and the 24 weeker you fought against the tide of circling the drain for weeks is now pushing his little brother in the stroller munching on animal crackers! (Happened to me this year!)
Almost the same story for me this year at the walk. Former 23 weeker whose twin was IUFD. He's now 2 1/2 with a little sister that he was pushing around! He and his family were even the sponsor family for that walk!
I've got a couple more:
You can never raid the patients fridge when you're hungry at 0300 because all you'd find is breast milk
Occasionally late at night (and never when management is around ), you unhook your baby and take her on a walk down the hall so she can see something other than the ceiling above her crib
You don't feel silly wearing cartoon/holiday scrubs--not because your patients have an opinion, but because their moms like them :)
You've been tempted to stop strangers and ask what their syndrome is--you know darn well they have one--and you don't want to ever get yourself tested, because you probably do too .
Ew. I once had a booger land on my lip. I was using a bulb syringe and squirting the boogies out onto a piece of gauze, and one ricocheted off the gauze and right onto my lip. That was gross. You all know what kind of stuff you can get out of a kid's nose. It's amazing sometimes how they can even breathe!
We have a few nurses who love to compare/compete with baby boogers. See who can find the biggest or grossest in the smallest nose. (We are a demented breed, NICU nurses,but we are happy!)
I am always impressed as well at how long these kiddos can sat 100% while breathing with a caterpillar up a nose!
...you've ever been freaked out seeing an adult (or even small child!) sized ETT....your bladder is bigger than your patient.
...you've had daydreams of smacking parents on the head with a bendybar.
...at least one of your patients has been on tv/in the paper as a miracle baby.
...you've ever got a medic opinion on a baby that's 'just not quite right' and find it hard to explain how you know the baby is obviously septic/had a bleed/got NEC with the most vague symptoms.
Argh, first night tiredness is not helping my brain
The other night at one of my jobs (I work in two different NICUs) I was helping a mom push and they decided to cath her because she was approaching preeclampsia. I thought I would barf when I saw the size of the urine catheter! I think it was a 20 french or something! I have become accustomed to cathing my patients with a size 2 french feeding tube!!
And...I am always fascinated when I donate blood and they whip out an 18 gauge. I will keep my 24 and 25 gauge needles thank you very much!
You know you are a NICU nurse when you lay your patient across your lap and pat his butt to calm him when he is fussy.
You know you are a NICU nurse when you bathe your patient in a wash basin sitting on a table.
You know you are a NICU nurse when you don't mind when your patient farts in your lap...as long as his diaper is intact!
We have a few nurses who love to compare/compete with baby boogers. See who can find the biggest or grossest in the smallest nose. (We are a demented breed, NICU nurses,but we are happy!)I am always impressed as well at how long these kiddos can sat 100% while breathing with a caterpillar up a nose!
We called that the "catch of the day"!
NeoNurseTX, RN
1,803 Posts
Ew, ew ew!!! I'd rather have baby gut contents on me than adult gut contents though.