You know your pt is a jerk if........

[traumamomtx]

You know your pt is a jerk if:

1. they demand the catheter out so they can have sex with their girlfriend.

2. they cuss you and everyone in the room out regardless of the situation.

3. they are a no information pt because they were shot and they are mad because they aren't suppossed to be calling people to let they know where they are.

4. they want to leave so they can find the drug dealer that shot them so they can "get my gun and do him before he does me".

Woo, what a night!!!:smackingf

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

Well, to be technical about it, our condom caths have a 1 inch adhesive strip which encircles the body part, which means the body part in question would have to be greater than 1 inch long. The adhesive strip would have occluded the opening of this particular patient. That's not a "judgemental" reaction, just a flat fact -- he did not qualify for the device.

What made the guy a jerk to me wasn't his physical situation it was for him to say something like that to another woman, using crude language with his wife at the foot of the bed.

[abbaking]

1) Did the thought cross your mind that maybe they would prefer

a male nurse considering your attitude!

2) It's not professional when people on this site use threatening tones

of what they would like to do to patients whether its intentional or

not!

There comes a point in time when we all need to vent and get this crap off out chests. Yes, it may be a "professional" website, but we are still people taking care of the scums of the world. If i was a moman and I experienced some of the stuff some male patients do and say to them, I would go Lorena Bobbit on them without thinking twice.

it just my

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

*sigh*

does school start soon so these bored and boring baby trolls can be otherwise occupied?

[vickirn1]

Well, not my patient but their family. I work on an acute care unit with a ratio of 1:3. One of my patients was a DNR (which, by the way, I am WELL aware does not mean 'do not treat'). Anyway, this patient consumed 75% of my 12 hour shift that day. He was going downhill, has inoperable cancer, heart in rapid a-flutter (rate 170's), potassium of 6.7, kidneys shutting down, lethargic and unable to take any of his po meds, you name it! After 12 hours of starting 2 different drips, kayexolate enema's, insertion of PICC line, pushing lopressor IV every 2 hours, 2 hour outputs, drawing labs to monitor potassium levels, turning/repositioning/oral care every 2 hours, fighting with ultrasound to have evaluation of kidneys done at bedside per md order, calling MD with updates and lab levels the MPOA, phones the yell at me because the patient wasn't getting his scheduled does of PO lortab!!!! I was never so frustrated in my career. (By the way, in the 4 days I cared for this man I saw this MPOA in to see him once.) The man showed NO signs of pain and I explained this to her and all she had to say was 'I'll take this up with his doctor in the morning' to which I replied...' okay ma'am, have a nice day' and calmly hung up the phone before I screamed!!!! LOL

[squeakykitty]

There comes a point in time when we all need to vent and get this crap off out chests. Yes, it may be a "professional" website, but we are still people taking care of the scums of the world. If i was a moman and I experienced some of the stuff some male patients do and say to them, I would go Lorena Bobbit on them without thinking twice.

it just my

If I remember right, Lorena Bobbit got off with a slap on the wrist.

[ShifraPuah]

Well, not my patient but their family. I work on an acute care unit with a ratio of 1:3. One of my patients was a DNR (which, by the way, I am WELL aware does not mean 'do not treat'). Anyway, this patient consumed 75% of my 12 hour shift that day. He was going downhill, has inoperable cancer, heart in rapid a-flutter (rate 170's), potassium of 6.7, kidneys shutting down, lethargic and unable to take any of his po meds, you name it! After 12 hours of starting 2 different drips, kayexolate enema's, insertion of PICC line, pushing lopressor IV every 2 hours, 2 hour outputs, drawing labs to monitor potassium levels, turning/repositioning/oral care every 2 hours, fighting with ultrasound to have evaluation of kidneys done at bedside per md order, calling MD with updates and lab levels the MPOA, phones the yell at me because the patient wasn't getting his scheduled does of PO lortab!!!! I was never so frustrated in my career. (By the way, in the 4 days I cared for this man I saw this MPOA in to see him once.) The man showed NO signs of pain and I explained this to her and all she had to say was 'I'll take this up with his doctor in the morning' to which I replied...' okay ma'am, have a nice day' and calmly hung up the phone before I screamed!!!! LOL

Don't worry; whether it's the pt or the pt's family--it's ALWAYS good to vent. Jerkiness is no respecter of persons.

[stilltrying]

LOL When the ER call and say we found two Oxycodone in your pt bra.

[BelleKat, BSN, RN]

You definitely know your pt is a jerk when EMS grabs his essentially lifeless body off the street downtown and only due to the proximity of major trauma unit and outstanding OR that his butt is alive to complain when I pull his gown up a little to better affix the pads for the balloon pump or would you like a clot with that? Grr,he had pulmonary artery damage and open heart surgery with a one in a million recovery and he cops an attitude w/ me like I'm trying to peek? Sheesh!!:hlk:

[Mermaid in the Sea]

okay, at the risk of sounding very southern---

ya'll ain't gonna believe this....

i had a guy who'd had extensive lower abd. surgery, and they did a saddle block d/t his copd/chf/crappy ejection fraction, etc. well, sure enough, his bladder starts distenting within 2 hours of him hitting the floor. now, this guy had completely refused a foley, but when we explained that a ruptured bladder is a bad, bad thing, he agreed but asked that we try the condom cath. now, i'm a woman but i've had a foley, and if there was a female version of a condom cath, i'd be asking for that to be tried first, too. i had to very gently explain to the man that he was not a "candidate" for a condom cath. you figure it out.

so now he's mad, the wife is telling him to hush and act like a man (and oh, ain't that going over really well) and i'm trying to get the catheter up him, and the catheter is squirming in my hand because i can't get the ureter straight, since there's not a whole lot for me to anchor on, if you get my drift, and he's cussing me out. mr. wonderful snarls, "gee, what's taking so long, it's not like you haven't had your hands on a man's #*#*$ before."

without blinking an eye, i snapped, "yes, but not with his wife standing at the foot of the bed."

the wife about died laughing, and i didn't have any more problems with mr. wonderful.

omg i'm rolling on the floor laughing, good for you !!

[rockhunter]

He is readmitted to hospital 1 week post surgery on his foot via surgical outpatients with maggots in his wound. When asked why he hadn't reported the smell of rotting flesh earlier - reply is 'I only noticed there was a problem when my wife commented on the increase in the flys in the house'

[twistedpupchaser]

When you have spent half an hour scrubbing a foot that has just come out of a cast after 4 months to prep for surgery and you ask the Pt to have a go for a while to remove more dead skin while you do a Med Round and they turn to you and state, "No I don't think so, you are getting paid to do this, not me."

When you get an abusive phone call from a Pt's husband 1200 km away because she decided she wanted a great dose of sympathy so told him all sorts of stories. Aparently she had been screaming in pain for "hours" and nobody cared that she had a broken leg and refused her pain medication. It is funny because literally minutes earlier she denied pain and`was happy as a pig in muck.....

[rph3664]

If I remember right, Lorena Bobbit got off with a slap on the wrist.

And her ex-husband embarked on a Mediao career.

Really, he did despite only having 4 inches to work with.