You just Don't Know which way to pray....

live4today, RN · Feb 2, 2004

((((((((((gwenith)))))))))) :kiss I think every nurse comes to a point in their journey as a nurse where they are at a loss for words or acts to help one of their patients like the one you describe. It is sad, but really all we can do is give our best and pray for the best outcome for all involved. Your compassion alone speaks volumes about the affect this patient has on you, and that is no small measure. :nurse:

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 2, 2004

Gwenith you are one of a kind......i would LOVE to have a nurse like you care for me and mine. What compassion!

Fgr8Out · Feb 2, 2004

Originally posted by gwenith

In other words the patient for whom you do not know whether you should be hoping for survival for praying for release.

~*~*~

Bless you for your compassion, Gwenith. :kiss

As for how or what you should pray.... "Thy will be done."

Dixen81 · Feb 2, 2004

You are a very precious person, Gwyneth. I would just pray for God's will and that He give the patient and family the comfort that they need, whatever the outcome may be. In a situation like that, I wouldn't know how else to pray, either.

glopop11 · Feb 2, 2004

As for how or what you should pray.... "Thy will be done."

Well said Fgr8out!

I have learned to only pray for knowledge of God's will, and the power to carry it out.

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 2, 2004

I just ask G-d to take the problem/medical condition/affliction into HIS loving hands and to allow the family dealing with this to be able to do so, if they are inclined. It's toughest to let it go. Let go, let G-d they say. It's true for me, anyhow.

prmenrs, RN · Feb 2, 2004

I read something once that to think about praying is in itself a prayer. I think if you can use a mental image of the pt (and his family) being sheltered and cared for by God, that would be a start. "How can I help them, God?" would be one thing to ask in your thoughts.

Thank you, Gwenith.

Jay-Jay, RN · Feb 2, 2004

Gwenith, never be afraid to ask for a miracle. They DO happen. I was speaking to a man at church tonight who had such a major stroke that the doctors just shrugged their shoulders and said "there's NO hope for him. He's going to be a vegetable." They refused to even consider rehab/physio for him. Now, aside from a certain slowness of speech, and a slightly uneven, shuffling gait (hey, we're talking 80+ years old here!!) this man is doing just fine!

And given my husband's situation, I was SO glad to meet this man!!

His son did most of the talking. The son suffered severe brain damage in a car accident a number of years ago. The doctors told his parents to put him away in an institution and forget about him. He, too, was totally healed through a combination of nutrition and prayer (he's a specialist in nutrition). Never, ever would I have guessed that he'd had any sort of a brain injury. He was extremely articulate, and offered to help my husband, free of charge!

When the guest speaker tonight prayed for me, he gave me a paraphrase of a scripture verse: "If you ask for bread, will your father give you a stone?" (Matt. 7:v9) "Ask and it will be given to you." (verse 7)

"I would ask, then, that my husband be healed." I responded. "He's had a stroke."

"I've seen three people completely healed of strokes in the last two months!" responded the speaker. :)

[Jane, riding on a spiritual high tonight!]

angelbear · Feb 2, 2004

Gwenith, Just the fact that you are wondering what to pray speaks volumes for you as a nurse. If I am ever in a situation like that I can only hope to have a nurse as compassionate as you are. I too have seem miracles my son is one of them. He was suppose to be in a persistant vegetative stage from 5 mnths of age and that is if he survived at all. He is now 16 and mildly MR but very high functioning for the most part he has a very high QOL. I work with profoundly mentally and physically handicapped so it is a daily issue for us. I certainly understand how you can be torn as to how to pray. I have found that Gods will is always best even if we dont always understand it. Hugs and comfort to you.

ADNRN · Feb 2, 2004

Of course if we can pray that someone dies peacfully, why can't we pray that they have a full recovery? I mean if we are praying with the hopes that the Higher Self will answer positively, then why not pray for the best outcome? We don't have to pray for someone to die--that's a sure thing.

Speculating · Feb 2, 2004

Originally posted by gwenith
I am not religious but every so often I come across a patient whom I know needs more help than mortal hands can give but you just do not know which way to pray.

You know the patient - they are usually young and would have had everything going for them. What has struck them down has been a catastophe - whether it is a severe head injury or maybe Meningococcus or something that takes a fit young person and leaves a train wreck that will never have a full or even partially normal life again. They have young families and you find yourself thinking "Please survive for them" and then you think through the daily cost of survival from this point on and you don't know whether you are doing them a favour.

In other words the patient for whom you do not know whether you should be hoping for survival for praying for release.

We have one now and it is sooo sad. What he originally presented with was so minor no-one would have thought twice of the problem - this sent on to full blown sepsis - and now- I am sorry but cannot give more details out of respect for the family just let me say he is now one of those whom I do not know how I should be praying/appealing to the powers that be...

Sometimes this is the price we pay for saving the ones we do. We have those who can never truly be thankful that we did intervene. Whose lives will not just "never be the same" but will continue only at a daily cost and struggle.

We do our best and we worry whether it IS for the best.

We do it, gwenith, because without us they wouldn't have a chance at all to go home.

We do it, gwenith, for those really sick people for whom we can hope that at least one in ten will go home.

We do it, gwenith, because of that one in ten that gets to go home and live happily ever after not ever understanding just how close to death they really were.

We do it, gwenith, because we hope that if it is someone we love on that table that there are nurses like all of us doing are very best to give them a chance to go home too.