You call these DIRECTIONS??

gwenith, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2003

There is an old Australian joke about a "new chum" asking directions from an old farmer. The farmer replies

"Well - you go down this road until you see the old white gum thats been split by lightning turn left there and drive until you come to a creek cross the creek and turn right at the river gum stump then you have to cross Murphy's paddock - he's teh one with the pure bred Brahmans keep going until you hit teh old fire track."

Teh new chum looks worried "Will that get me there"

Old farmer replies "No it will bring you back here so I can give you teh rest of the directions." :chuckle

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2003

Hehe! I am ROTFLMAO!!!

And I thought turn left at Y-ville National Bank was bad....uh which of the eight branches would that be??

I have given some kooky directions in the city, I have had to count the streets b/c the signs are all gone, then none of the houses have numbers, and you don't want to knock on the crack house door accidentally. "The buzzer is the rectangular one on the top left "(many houses are split into several apartments. "Take a flashlight, no lights in very dark hallway."

I have always wondered how the nurses in NYC d it. Do they have to ride the subway w their nurse bag?? Get reimbursed for Taxis??

Home Health is really one of the nursing fields that are very different than the hospital. If you go to a hosdital in New Mexico it probably wouldn't be drastically different from one in NJ, but the HH nurses territory sure is!!

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Jul 16, 2003

Can't use Mapquest in the boonies??

Guess the Onstar system is out too....

My biggest problem is getting the patients to their correct Zip code. to discharge planners... so i'm not sending an RN to South Philadelpia for a patient who lives in the far Northeast.

renerian, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2003

Hehehe I used to work in rural home health and got some doosies like that.................how is your job going russel?

Traveler · Jul 17, 2003

Those directions made me laugh. We get some interesting ones also servicing a very rural area. One of my favorites was one weekend when I was on call and had an admission. I called from my home for directions and could tell right away it was going to be a tough one to find.

The last part of the directions pt gave was to turn at the doublewide trailer. On the road I went and it was obvious I was lost. Husband paged me and miraculously my phone had service. He said "That patient you're supposed to see just called the house (I get all sorts of calls from pt's because may of them have caller ID) and she said that they took the doublewide away this morning so you don't turn at the doublewide"

Then there's always "Turn at the cow standing on the hill or at the old billboard that fell down about 10 years ago."

I love my job some days and others.........

Ann

LoisJean · Jul 17, 2003

Rusty...some years ago I took a trip to Poland. They gave directions just like the ones you quoted. (Not slamming Polish people.... but jeez! Did I ever get lost. So, I figured that if I followed the setting sun westward I'd eventually get back to Germany where I had started my trip...but no.....I ended up in Belaruse which tells me that in Poland even the sun doesn't know which way to set!

Peace,

Lois Jean

allnurses Guide · Jul 17, 2003

Rusty . . . that sounds like directions I have given.

I always look for landmarks and turn left or right, not north or south.

My husband will love this one. . . and give me some ribbing about it.

steph

obeyacts2 · Jul 17, 2003

sounds like an alzheimer's case I had: go out XX hwy, turn off at the Dairy, go THRU the dairy and into the duck blinds (hunting camp) and its the third cottage. I traveled 78 miles: the kicker was they hadn't released the guy from the hospital yet and the hospital forgot to notify the home health agency. I was lucky I was driving a big van....the road was so rutted a compact car couldnt have made it.

Laura

CCL"Babe", BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2003

Sounds like you might be in beautiful downtown G...ville. The fire company always got dispatched so we could direct the ambulances in from the neighboring township. They would drop us off along the way so we could point the right directions for the medics :) True!

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Jul 17, 2003

I'm with Steph, Rusty.. they made perfect sense to ME !!!

Gotta go with the landmarks.

Brita01 · Jul 18, 2003

Originally posted by Rustyhammer
You will cross a rickity wood bridge. If the water in the river is low, drive across the river because the bridge isn't safe.

Huh? What are you supposed to do if the river isn't low?