Would You Marry or Date a Patient or An Ex-Patient of Yours

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I have known of a colleague who fell in love with a patient and eventually had a child with him. My question is, would you marry one of your "fabulous" or "charming" patients? I also know a Unit Secretary who married an alcoholic patient whom she met on the Psychiatric Unit she works on.

Specializes in Mental Health, Medical Research, Periop.
At least the alcoholics will share their beer with you...:idea:

I don't think the alcoholic would share THEIR beer with you, they would most likely tell you to get your own. :cool:*wine

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I don't think the alcoholic would share THEIR beer with you, they would most likely tell you to get your own. :cool:*wine

. . . and share it with them. :D

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Bwaaa haaa haaaa :) :lol2: :rotfl::hhmth:

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

Only if he looked like this and needed health insurance.

07_Scott-Foley2.jpg

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Taking care of my husband at home after he had surgery, twice, (this was after we had been married awhile!!!)--I would NOT have been remotely attracted to his whiney self had I met him in a hospital, LOL!

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Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
well, to be fair...yes.

now, to qualify...i was not a nurse at the time, i was a tech. i was in nursing school. i was also 19 years old. so was he. i brought him up from the er, took him to his room, and left it. my phone rang on my way home that night. seems some of my coworkers had given him my number when he asked if i were single.

(*edited for brevity, bold emphasis mine*)

i think i'd be pretty upset if my co-worker gave my phone number to a patient. that could really be dangerous. what if the patient has a psychiatric diagnosis? not to mention a serious violation of your privacy. it sounds like this was a long time ago, but i sure hope you complained about it.

ashley, they grilled him pretty hard, and apparently his own mom vouched for him. we talked for a while before we ever went out.

no, i didn't complain. they meant well.

my reaction was much like ashley's. i thought to myself "if someone did that to me, i'd be in a quandry..........turn them in and have them fired or just settle for a pencil through their eye." tough choice. if i was in a bad mood, it might be both.

i was commenting in a thread in which a young nurse had issues with co-workers wanting her to date their relatives, and she was not as into said relative as they wanted her to be. in the end, my advice was "don't give up the captain's chair when it comes to who you date and not. people will try to take it from you, tell you they know what's best, but their top priority is not your happiness."

btw..........ummmm, what mother wouldn't vouch for their son? worst way to judge someone's dating quality ever.

true story:

had a young man under my care, 22 years old and in with terrible injuries from a mva. he had a near endless list of health issues r/t the mva injuries, and to top it off, many nurses were being unprofessional with him. his gf died in the accident and it was pretty much a done deal that he would go to trial for drunk driving and spend time in jail after he was released. many nurses were taking the "he's faking to avoid jail" attitude with him, as if you can fake fevers, fistula and fx's.

he tended to "man up" a bit when i was his nurse and participate in his care a bit more, so i had him often. one day, while changing his dressings (there were like seven of them), i noticed an odd tattoo on his arm. it looked like a heavy metal t-shirt. it was a portrait of a face and very detailed. the left side was a beautiful blond girl, and as you moved to the right, it slowly turned into a screaming skull, screaming as though it were in pain.

i asked him "what made you get that?" he responded "that's a portrait of my gf who died in the auto accident." i thought nothing of it, saw some other patients and went to the nurse's station to do documentation and check charts.

then it dawned on me. something was amiss. it was like..........i missed something, and i thought it was me forgetting a med or something at first. i quit worrying about it and shortly after it came to me (you might have already figured it out).

how could he have a tattoo of the girl who died in the mva since he's been in the hospital since it happened? who the heck gets a tattoo while they are an inpatient? i of course investigated and found out:

this was the second time he had been driving drunk and killed a gf in an auto accident. the tattoo was of the one that happened three years prior.

sound like a winner to you?

his mom was "vouching for him" with a nurse the whole time he was there, trying to explain to her that he was one of the most wonderful, caring boys in the world and told her if she could "get past the couple mistakes he made" she'd fall in love with him right away.:eek:

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OMG. That is horrible. Up there with the widow with 6 deceased husbands who all had 'mysterious' deaths.... (now shivering at the thought of ever getting married or dating !!) :eek:

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Specializes in PICU, ICU, Hospice, Mgmt, DON.
My reaction was much like Ashley's. I thought to myself "If someone did that to me, I'd be in a quandry..........turn them in and have them fired or just settle for a pencil through their eye." Tough choice. If I was in a bad mood, it might be both.

How could he have a tattoo of the girl who died in the MVA since he's been in the hospital since it happened? Who the heck gets a tattoo while they are an inpatient? I of course investigated and found out:

THIS WAS THE SECOND TIME HE HAD BEEN DRIVING DRUNK AND KILLED A GF IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT. THE TATTOO WAS OF THE ONE THAT HAPPENED THREE YEARS PRIOR.

Sound like a winner to you?

His mom was "vouching for him" with a nurse the whole time he was there, trying to explain to her that he was one of the most wonderful, caring boys in the world and told her if she could "get past the couple mistakes he made" she'd fall in love with him right away.:eek:

Well, that's only 2 strikes after all...doesn't he get like 3!!!... I mean anyone can make a few mistakes, just ask his mother.

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Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
Well, that's only 2 strikes after all...doesn't he get like 3!!!... I mean anyone can make a few mistakes, just ask his mother.

I've gotten into a debate with friends about this actually.

Me: There are things in life that are "one strike and you're out". A lot of people consider cheating on a marriage that. I have other things too. I'm not so afraid of being single that I'm going to compromise myself or my dignity/morals just to "stay with someone".

Them: "Oh, well, you can't be so black and white about things, second chances are a necessary part of life. If you don't give them you won't get them. People make mistakes." A lot of other jazz to it too that I dismissed with promptness.

People deserve second chances, sure. But the path to said new beginning can and will be without my involvement.

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Specializes in PICU, ICU, Hospice, Mgmt, DON.

AMEN, Bro!

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Oh, but the schizos, major depressives, polysubstance abusers and all the other DSM IVs are OK?.....just not the alcoholics?:)

Oh absolutely! :D

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Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
Oh, but the schizos, major depressives, polysubstance abusers and all the other DSM IVs are OK?.....just not the alcoholics?:)

Oh absolutely! :D

[Waiting for some jerk to come along and do it for him. Doesn't want to be the obnoxious one who can't help but suggest dating a nymphomaniac can have advantages]

<_>

>_>

Still waiting

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