is it worth it?

pecanpies · Nov 25, 2011

Some stress is definitely normal, especially if this is an accelerated second-degree program. It sounds like your stress might have gotten to the point where you are having trouble functioning, though. Does your school have a counseling center? Mine does. I haven't been, but I believe appointments are free or very low cost. I would look into that - it's a great but often overlooked resource. A counselor can be a neutral third party you can talk to about your stress and they can make suggestions on how you can manage it. Good luck...

dkmamato3 · Nov 25, 2011

Furthering your education is worth a lot ... but keeping your sanity is worth even more. I agree with pp, seek out the counseling center and get some strategies for stress management. Also, do talk to your hubby especially if you feel like it is impacting your marriage. Give him an opportunity to see where you are coming from and maybe you will be surprised by the amount of support he can give you. My husband was recently in school full time and sometimes it is hard to anticipate the need or the best way to support. My hubby was gone full time during the week so we made sure to have some time just for us every weekend - maybe set up a weekly date night ... even if it is just for coffee at Barnes & Noble, then you can sneak in some study time and he can browse a bit as well.

I hope to be going into a second degree program next fall and I know in advance it will be stressful. I am married and have three great kiddos and I know that it will be a toll on everyone. However this is something that I really want to do and although the process may be a bit stressful it will pay off in the end.

Good luck to you ... keep your eyes on the dream ~ it will happen but no one promised it would be easy.

Laurenslovely · Nov 25, 2011

I get it, cause I'm 28 and I hate hate hate nursing school and feel the same way. It's worth it only if it's your DREAM!! It's mine and I'm so thankful I'm in a BSN program. I took pharm/patho last year and it was hell, but it is TEMPORARY. But if it's not your passion, your wasting your time cause nursing is a TOUGH profession!! Everyone in my program is an adult and married, I feel like I'm the only single one, so your not the only married nursing student out there. Stick with it only if it's your dream!!

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Nov 25, 2011

i think it is worth it, and i also think that if you were my student i would hope you'd come and see me to talk about it, and then i wouldn't hesitate to refer you to the counselors. they've seen it all, they know what will help you far better than i do, and they can also give you some perspective that will help you keep putting one foot in front of the other. depression that makes you cry for hours cries out for professional assistance, and there isn't a damn thing wrong with that. you'll have many opportunities to recommend it in your professional life; now, let someone recommend it to you.

i was married with a newborn when i started graduate school. it was very hard, not the least because my then-husband was very self-centered and made it very clear to me that i could not approach him for help or understanding about anything. i learned a lot of things from that time, with excellent professional help, one of which was that i could not stay married to anyone like that for many reasons. it was amazingly scary to face that, but hey... life goes on anyway, i had (by then) two small kids to care about, and my making my own mental health better made me a better mother to them (and didn't do me any harm either ). i also learned how to be smarter about choosing a mate that would support me to be my best self, not make himself feel bigger by making me feel smaller-- that paid off hugely later:heartbeat. but i digress.

if you are comparatively newly-married, your husband may want to help you through this struggle but not know how to go about it-- being married to someone doesn't automatically confer expertise in relationships, even that one. in that case, a counselor can also help you straighten that out, and it can lead to a much stronger relationship. this is just a first huge challenge for you (both), but it is certainly not going to be the last. life is like that. learning how to surmount a challenge together is enormously uplifting and strengthening.

for that reason also you might be underestimating your family's ability to empathize and support you-- maybe none of the older generation has been to nursing school but trust me, they have had other serious challenges and learned how they could best work through them. ask them. something will resonate with you, and at the least, a burden shared is a burden lightened. they care about you, right? let them show you how much. and remember what you learned in school-- "family" can be anyone you want it to be, particularly if your actual family members are, um, a little less supportive generally.

i know it's so hard to start down a path when it's all you can do to get out of bed in the morning, and walking into that classroom with the burden of depression on your shoulders and your eyelids is almost more than you can bear. there are people who care about helping you. let them. let us know how you are doing.

Soliloquy, MSN, APRN, NP · Nov 25, 2011

GrnTEa and the others have great responses. If your school has a counselor to talk to, please don't hesitate to do so. Patho/Pharm is hard and in combination to my environment, spiritual distress, and social stressors, I had a panic attack and just felt terrible. It took a lot of hard work, committment, prayer and picking myself up by my bootstraps to get through it but I do feel it's worth it in the long run. Some nurses only work about 3 days a week for 12 hours and this can be good because all the hard work you put in in nursing school you'll then have a lifetime of experiences, flexibility, options, and IMO freedom.

ImThatGuy, BSN, RN · Nov 26, 2011

I'm just the opposite. It's a second degree for me, but the pharm and patho are the elements that I like. Actually working with patients has become...let's just say unappealing.

birdinflight · Nov 27, 2011

I'm in NS and have been in a fairly low slump myself. So I can relate.

That being said... yes, it is worth it. And yes, it is temporary. It's hard to see that right now... it's hard for me to see that too, on an almost daily basis. Somehow NS gives us all tunnel vision and we forget that it's a means to an end... to what we really want. NS will not be our lives forever.

All the pain, effort, trials and error are so, so worth it. You decided on nursing for a reason... remember that reason, keep it in the front of your mind.

Maybe you could have a little family conference. Tell them what a day in your NS life looks like. Tell them what you need from them to get through this.... ask if they can do that for you. Tell them that your success is, in a way, their success too, and they need to rally around you. This is important to you, so it should be important to them that you succeed. This will not be the first time in life or in nursing that you will need to ask for what you need/want.

Take a breath and dig deep. :)