Workplace Sayings

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We have a saying where I work that goes "There's a right way, and then there's the _______ ________ Medical Center's way!".

When a coworker complains of the way something is done, then makes and appropriate suggestion, I reply with, "Stop making sense!"

Rooty Payne, my work brother in arms, has a couple:

"It's only (8 or 12) hours."

"I don't run the train, I only shovel the coal."

Got any?

Specializes in Psych, Peds, Education, Infection Control.

A philosophical question that's been posed during orientation before - If a cavi wipe falls on the floor, is it dirty or does it clean itself? (To which I, as the infection control nurse, say that it's dirty but the spot under it is kinda clean.)

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Specializes in NICU/Mother-Baby/Peds/Mgmt.
Don't say the Q word, the S word, or the B word. (Quiet, slow, or bored).

I like to call it peaceful!

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Specializes in NICU/Mother-Baby/Peds/Mgmt.
They (management) treat us like mushrooms, they keep us in the dark and feed us ****.

FLK, funny looking kid, when something just ain't right with a little one.

FLK is said in the nursery/NICU, and the come back is "look at the parents first". We actually had a resident say this about a nurse's kid and when we said who the father said he was like "oh, ok, all's good"!

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Specializes in kids.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy". And you're shaking your head in disbelief when you just can't believe what just happened.

Love that song!

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Specializes in Psych, Peds, Education, Infection Control.

My new favorite, when our new CNO was considering the likelihood of diversion of floor stock meds (not controlled)..."Well, if someone's diverting Haldol, it might improve their performance."

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

That's above my pay grade.

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Specializes in EMS, LTC, Sub-acute Rehab.
One of our ER docs is fond of saying, re: complaining/loud/moaning/screaming pts: "Nothing that propofol won't cure"

Milk of amnesia.

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Specializes in EMS, LTC, Sub-acute Rehab.

If it ain't wrong, it ain't right.

If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying. If you get caught, you're not trying hard enough.

Welcome to ________. Where every day's a holiday. Every meal is a feast.

Not my circus. Not my monkeys. My monkeys fly.

You can't fix crazy but you can sedate it.

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Specializes in Case Manager/Administrator.

Thank you all for the belly laughs....

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This is the best place to come to find out there is NOTHING wrong with you.

It's just not worth the "Happy Meal". (When arguing over who will take charge & referring to the extra 50¢ an hour)

"Put some peri-spray on it, that stuff fixes everything!"

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We all suffer from anal darkness every now and then! Some more then others 😉

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When someone act surprised about lack of staff, supplies, or any of the thousands of c/0 everyone mutters, I always ask, What, are you new here? I can be quite sarcastic at times, lol

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